At 4/3/08 10:00 PM, Strauss wrote: "What are you doing behind the couch, Strauss? I didn't even see you."
Strauss looked at her, puzzled. "Why, I'm hiding from the unicorns, of course."

The way you can catch the mood of a major smokeout is incredible. This is seriously going to be another great, confusing, ass blaster of a story.

I love reading these stories. I actually went back a couple of pages and noticed how good of writers some of you guys are. I guess I could give it a shot once I see what you guys are doing, but I'll wait until I understand the basis you write your stories on.

At 4/3/08 09:43 PM, possum2 wrote: go out and make 50 more intelligent posts that add to the conversation of topics and come back, then we'll see.

You better not be talking to me.

I was a member here since before you went through puberty.

Which was not saying much because that was only a while ago.

Ok

It better be ok.

At 4/3/08 11:53 PM, Gu-rrilla wrote:

At 4/3/08 09:43 PM, possum2 wrote: go out and make 50 more intelligent posts that add to the conversation of topics and come back, then we'll see.

You better not be talking to me.

He's not. I've noticed through his posting habits that he lacks the skill to correctly quote the text in which he is replying to. But if he does wish to join our ranks that is a skill he'll have to improve on. Sorry to rain on your parade there. Okay, maybe I'm not sorry, but it's always a nice notion.

At 4/1/08 06:19 PM, Kurofelis wrote: "Triv! Activate the primary deterrent thingy!"

The sound of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" began to blare through the speakers near the door, and it only got louder. The failures of life showed their dismay.

"Dammit! That's the third time today!"

"NOOOO! I've been rolled!"

"Turn that off! It's teh old as shat!"

While they all complained, Strauss cracked his knuckles on iron and fed the first person he could se a nice meal of fist.

That's a surprisingly effective defense strategy. Does it work with any other songs?

The Blow Every Thing To Shit Bomb AKA BETTS Bomb

A new weapon from Science Department that annhiliates everything in the detonation area (area depends on the size of the bomb), puts the mess back together in an alternate dimension, then warps them bak to the detonation area. Thus, blowing people into bloody chunks, shredded guts, and shit.

I'm impressed. It's a real challenge to create an inter-dimensional weapon, especially one that works on any scale.

At 4/3/08 10:00 PM, Strauss wrote: The Letter Prequel to 'Ghost and the Pink Goo'

The lab branch of the mansion was hospital white and extremely quiet, save for the scientist droids that occasionally moved from one direction to the other. Trivia paced back and forth across the room, talking to himself, planning out new and innovative ways to evaporate water.
"A tea kettle," he said. "Fat chance! Tea kettles are for peons. For those who desperately hold on to the ways of old. There are much better ways of evaporating than heat. Don't you see?"
Prower, having snuck up behind Trivia, looked up, surprised. "I didn't know you even knew I was here."
"Of course I knew you were here! Do you think I would be talking to myself the entire time?"
"Well, I have seen you do it," said Prower. "What about that time when you were eating those grapes, and you had that revalation of how to remove the seed from the grape through teleportation?"
"That was a special case," said Trivia. "Those grapes were evil, and they came out a chicken's ass. At least, that's my hypothesis."
"And still you ate them...." said Prower.
"Of course. Who can pass up the sweetness of grapes?"
Prower looked down at the floor and said, "you have a point. Why just the other day my remote control fell into a vat of orange juice and I thought.........."
"I don't have time for your musings," snapped Trivia. "What is it that you want?"
"Charlotte requested that you go and see her. She's in her room, and looks pretty worked up."
"I TOLD you," said Trivia. "My penis is not for hire!"
"You never told me that," said Prower. "I never heard you utter those words in my life."
"Nevertheless," Trivia stated, "I stand by my principles."
"She doesn't want you for sex," said Prower, annoyed. "She's gay."
Trivia looked thoughtfully in the air, trying to comprehend what was said. Finally he looked back at prower. "I knew that," he said. "I was just testing your soul for weaknesses."
Without a word, Prower walked down the hall, then ran into a droid that was passing by. The droid fell over with a thud, spilling some sort of liquid on the ground.
"Do you realize what you DID?" shouted Trivia.
"Yes," he said. "Your clumsy robot knocked into me and now I spilled liquid cancer or something on the ground. I'm probably going to get cancer and die now."
"No," said Trivia. "That was just water. I was using it to test if turned into nitrogen after an hour of sitting in an isolated environment."
"Ugh, I've HAD it with you and your eccentricity," said Prower, storming out of the lab.

I have a few issues with this:
First, it seems irrational to portray me as insane in the prequel when I'm one of the few level-headed characters in the original story. How does one go from crackpot to evil genius?
Second, that experiment is completely illogical. There is no N₂ in distilled H₂O, and everyone knows that the best way to break intermolecular water bonds is to apply heat.
Third, I would've made seedless grapes through genetic engineering. It's much easier to make the grape grow seedless than it is to take a normal grape and lock onto each seed with a teleporter.
I do, however, accept that quip regarding Charlotte. I'm a scientist, not a gigolo.

At 4/4/08 10:55 AM, MrTrivia wrote: There is no N₂ in distilled H₂O,

Sorry for the double post, but apparently that method of writing subscript doesn't work here.

At 4/4/08 10:55 AM, MrTrivia wrote: I have a few issues with this:

i don't think you get the point of the stories. it isn't supposed to really make sense. i think this up as i go. i put very little effort into thinking of a plot. it's nothing personal. the story is not meant to be taken seriously.

HAHAHA! Struass, your writing style is fucking hilarious. Completely nonsense, but all a good laugh while reading. Thank god that's not the end of it.

Where the bloody fuck is Prower, anyway?

At 4/4/08 05:05 PM, Strauss wrote:

At 4/4/08 10:55 AM, MrTrivia wrote: I have a few issues with this:

i don't think you get the point of the stories. it isn't supposed to really make sense. i think this up as i go. i put very little effort into thinking of a plot. it's nothing personal. the story is not meant to be taken seriously.

I'm just saying that if you decide to make a prequel, you have to keep continuity in mind. As a stand-alone nonsensical story, I think it was great.

can i be Stinky the Snitch. You can put me in any story you want i dont care, you could kill me off straight away. This is just a cool club.

At 4/5/08 09:24 AM, stinkychops wrote: can i be Stinky the Snitch. You can put me in any story you want i dont care, you could kill me off straight away. This is just a cool club.

yeah, we'll let you join. your posts are a little short, but they at least add to the topic in which they are posted. you can be a snitch, that's fine. just remember to make longer, meaningful posts in here. welcome to the club.

awesome, well, gotta find some filler.
In my opinion .bat scripting is a more efficent and effective form of scripting than .vbs
The godfather 2 was not as good as the original godfather as the acting was the only thing it had going for it, with actors like Robert De'niro and Al pacino. However the story and the atmposhere were lack luster.
So I can start writing a story or do i need to do something else whilst in this family/club

At 4/6/08 05:32 AM, stinkychops wrote: awesome, well, gotta find some filler.
In my opinion .bat scripting is a more efficent and effective form of scripting than .vbs
The godfather 2 was not as good as the original godfather as the acting was the only thing it had going for it, with actors like Robert De'niro and Al pacino. However the story and the atmposhere were lack luster.
So I can start writing a story or do i need to do something else whilst in this family/club

The godfather 1 was incredible. I thought the Godfather 2 was pretty cool, I don't like Micheal's style though and mainly kept watching for the little clips of Vito's rise to power. I really thought the Godfather 3 was pretty pathetic compared to the others though.

Im feeling really depressed from lurking around in the general. It's amazing how many idiots live there.

i agree with you there. vito was the best mob boss. i didn't like michael's style either. he wasn't really willing to help anyone or do a favor for anyone other than himself. plus i agree that the godfather 3 was just shit and pathetic. the story took too many wild turns: the daughter falling in love with her cousin, all of a sudden, michael wants to go legit, and (my personal favorite) michael gets to meet the pope.

Soooo I went away this weekend for a lacrosse game. A loooong ass ride from where my college is, and long story short, we drove 10 hours both ways just to lose. It wasn't a fun experience for me seeing as how I give up my balls to win games, but we always end up losing. Oh well. How has everyone else been doing?

Well... g'day everyone. I do have an apology to make, don't I?

I apologize for not giving prior notice, but for the past three weeks, I've been looking at colleges in the Northern United States. I won't be on today for very long, but I promise that I'll be on as much as I can in the coming weeks.

With regards to the Godfather, by far the first movie is the best, although the second movie is still a classic. The third movie... I'm not sure. I didn't enjoy it as much as the other two movies, although it was still a great movie in its own right.

At 4/7/08 12:07 PM, Strauss wrote: i agree with you there. vito was the best mob boss. i didn't like michael's style either. he wasn't really willing to help anyone or do a favor for anyone other than himself. plus i agree that the godfather 3 was just shit and pathetic. the story took too many wild turns: the daughter falling in love with her cousin, all of a sudden, michael wants to go legit, and

I thought the daughter falling for the cousing was just had no credibility at all. I didn't see how they even expected it to work :\

(my personal favorite) michael gets to meet the pope.

My friends thought i was insane when I started laughing during that scene :(

what it seemed like to me, was that they, as most people do, HAD to make a trilogy out of what was otherwise a good 2-movie set. They wanted to bring in some closure. If you'll notice, the first 2 movies kind of happened one after the other, around the same time. However, the third one happened way later, when Michael was an old man. It looks like they were trying to center the third movie around bringing closure to stuff that few people cared about, but didn't know how to do it. so they made up the worst plot in history. seriously, it looked like the godfather 3 was thought up in one day by someone who had been drinking all night.

At 4/7/08 11:38 PM, Strauss wrote: what it seemed like to me, was that they, as most people do, HAD to make a trilogy out of what was otherwise a good 2-movie set. They wanted to bring in some closure. If you'll notice, the first 2 movies kind of happened one after the other, around the same time. However, the third one happened way later, when Michael was an old man. It looks like they were trying to center the third movie around bringing closure to stuff that few people cared about, but didn't know how to do it. so they made up the worst plot in history. seriously, it looked like the godfather 3 was thought up in one day by someone who had been drinking all night.

It'd be an understatement to say that i was disappointed while watching the third movie.
I watched every Godfather movie in the same week, and was pretty happy so far. Then that damn third movie had to go and wreck the whole thing for me.

il joined this sounds cool
il be a cool gansta

hi heres an uzi for u

At 4/8/08 04:47 AM, clownbutt wrote: il joined this sounds cool
il be a cool gansta

i hope you are joking.

not about joining abot the cool gansta and the uzi

I would have to agree with everyone here who has said that the third Godfather was by far the worst installment to the "trilogy." Sometimes you just have to leave it at two movies and save yourself the money and the bad reviews from critics. Not to mention not all that many people have heard of or watched the actual third installment. My favorite was definitely the second, I couldn't tell you why it was the second, because the whole movie was simply amazing to me.

The Letter: Part 2

Strauss looked at the pop tarts sitting in front of him, dripping with water and dishwashing soap. Angrily, he threw the food back and hit Lotus in the face.
"These are complete bullshit!" he exclaimed. "What did you do, put these through the wash cycle on them??"
"Well, yes," said Lotus, wiping the soggy pop tarts from his face. "That's the way you like them!"
"I requested poptarts bathed in CLOROX, not in dishwashing soap, you idiot!"
"My mistake," said Lotus, humbly. "I'll fix you some more poptarts, the way you like them."
"No," said Strauss. "I have another task, a new task. I want a different type of cuisine. Quick. I want you to go out and get a bag of nails."
"What, fingernails?"
"No, you blockhead. Carpenter nails, railroad nails, rivets."
"Where am I going to find a bag of nails? The hardware store is closed!"
"That's not my problem," said Strauss dismissively. "Just go get me my nails. I'm hungry."
As Strauss turned around back in his chair, reading over some papers, Lotus gave him the finger behind his back. "I'm tired of having to always get that guy food."

"Normal, I have to act normal," said Trivia to himself, walking down the hall. "I am going mad down in there at that lab and coming up with experiments that produce absolutely NOTHING!" He threw a paper cup at the wall. "They keep me locked up down there so much, that I'm going insane!"
Trivia knocked on the door to Charlotte's room, impatient.
"Come in," said Charlotte.
As Trivia opened the door, Charlotte stood up and brushed the sawdust off her blouse. "What's the sawdust for?"
"Sometimes," Charlotte said, "I get so angry, that I carve etchings into the desk in my room. Take a look."
Trivia looked passively and saw a picture of a man being hung from an elaborately-sketched bridge.
"See?" Charlotte said, "That's Ghost."
"I see," said Trivia. "Seriously, if you don't like it here, why don't you just leave? It's not like anyone is going to miss you."
Charlotte looked down at the floor, embarrassed. "I....can't. I just can't leave."
"And why not?"
"I can't explain," she snapped. "Just believe me when I say that I can't leave on my own free will. Which brings me to the point of why I called you here."
"Yes, why did you call me here? It's not like I couldn't use the break, but I'm working on a very special experiment."
"Sorry," Charlotte said. "Look, you have ties with the anime nerds, right?"
Trivia looked at her silently, then spoke, "No one is supposed to know about that. Not even you. How did you get that information?"
"Nevermind," Charlotte said, annoyed. "I just need you to give this letter to one of them. They'll know what to do."
"What's it say?"
"It's a secret," said Charlotte. "I just need you to deliver it. You can still leave the mansion on your own free will, and I need to correspond with them."
"O...K..." said Trivia, confused, as he took the letter. "But I warn you, I'm not going to be losing my job, my head, or my mannequin over this."
"Whatever," said Charlotte. "Just don't open it."
Without another word, Trivia left the room and slammed the door. Oh, he would deliver the letter, alright. If he could just find a letter opener.

"I'm pissed off," said Strauss, barging into Ghost's office.
"I thought I told you not to bother me during my private time," said Ghost, quickly concealing his Kenny G CD.
"Yeah, cry me a river. The world's smallest violin is playing a song just for you." Strauss closed the door behind him.
"Well I'm pissed too," he said. "I think I will announce it. Marsupial!!!"
"Marsupial's not here," said Strauss. "They're all in the announcement hall."
"This is perfect." said Ghost, laughing meniacally. "There I will announce my current state of mind and make a pointless decree!"
"You'll have to wait for Fragment to finish his concert."
"Bullshit," said Ghost. "Ghost waits for no...did you say concert?"
"Yes," said Strauss. "Fragment's been drinking the 211 again and decided he's going to be an underground rapper."
"Now, this, I have to see," said Ghost.

The loudspeakers were all set in the meeting hall. All the mafia members were gathered in the hall with buckets of water and ecstasy pills, cheering names of brilliant physical therapists. Fragment stood up on the microphone, and said "Mafia! Are you ready to have a good time tonight?"
"NO!" everyone shouted in unison.
"Alright," he said "hit it Brendan!"
A beat started playing, and Fragment put a hood over his head, cupping the microphone in both hands, and began to rap in a Jamaican accent.

Watch out for pussyhole dem dead and buried.
In a de graveyard quick.
Cemetary dead and buried.
Pussy hole dem halfa dead!
Now you're in the cemetary, your spirit lingers on.
Searching for the one, that gunslinging master.
A sniper scope, One by one bling bling a gonna take dem out!
And when we comin' you gonna hear dis! *click-click*
And when we comin' you gonna hear dis! *click-click*.

"Bull SHIT!" shouted Nomader. "You ripped that off of someone else!"
The beat stopped, and Fragment cleared his throat. "No, I didn't!!"
"No," yelled Nomader. "You couldn't come up with a rap that epic!"
Nomader paused for a second, then went back to rapping

and when we comin' you gonna....
"No, FUCK you! BOOOO!"
At once, the crowd started booing, and throwing rotten apples, pants, and beer bongs at Fragment, who covered his head, which was then hit with a rubber vagina.
As Ghost and Strauss walked in to the chaos, objects flying everywhere. A used condom then hit Ghost in the face.
Ghost wiped off the condom angrily, as his face got red. He ran up to the podium and shoved Fragment out of the way.
"That's ENOUGH!" he screamed into the microphone.
At once, all the screaming and booing ceased and everyone stood quietly, waiting for Ghost to start sending in hitmen to take them and put them in pink dresses before shooting their legbones off.
"Gentlemen," he announced when there was total silence. "I'm pissed!" He then looked pointed over at Snype. "Emil," he said, "Suck my dick! I need some release!"
Snype looked at him, disgusted and confused. "But my name is not Emil!"
"That's it, I've had enough of your lip! Tangent. I want you to cut Snype up into little pieces, and feed him to the dogs!"
Tangent looked at Ghost nervously, "Right away sir." He grabbed Snype by the shoulder. "Come on, let's get this over with."

continued in part 3

I love the story, it's so random it's brilliant.
I wish i understood this reoccurring joke with Snype though, I must be some sort of idiot :'(

At 4/8/08 05:13 PM, Mercenary81 wrote: I love the story, it's so random it's brilliant.
I wish i understood this reoccurring joke with Snype though, I must be some sort of idiot :'(

What joke? We just tell it like it is....
(and I concur, another great portion of your magnum opus, strauss)

At 4/8/08 04:47 AM, clownbutt wrote: il joined this sounds cool
il be a cool gansta

I'm not even going to bother looking at your posts. In fact, I'm not even going to bother giving you a fair and sensible post quota to achieve before I let you in. 1,000 sounds like a good number. Good day, be gone!

I hate 50 cent

So a little update from the life of me. Just started school last week. It's an accelerated program so i'll be done in three years. Don't be surprised if I'm not posting much, the homework is some killer shit.

Strauss, keep it up brother! This prequel is better than most movie prequels, and most of those go straight to video. HAHA at you Carlito's Way!

At 4/8/08 02:43 PM, Strauss wrote: The Letter: Part 2

nice story, I've gotta go and find part one so that I can fully understand what is going on.
I havent even bothered watching part 3 of the godfather movies.
Is it ok if I submit a story in a few days.

At 4/8/08 02:43 PM, Strauss wrote: The Letter: Part 2

You did an excellent job. In addition to being fun to read, this story answered a few questions raised in part 1, not to mention tying up the original story's loose ends.

continued in part 3

I'm looking forward to it.

Yet another status report: Even though I have this week off from work, I'm afraid I won't get much done on the stories. My parents had new carpet installed yesterday, which meant packing up pretty much everything that can't be nailed down and moving it to the basement (a process that lasted until Monday night). I've still got 82% of my stuff to retrieve, so with any luck my room will be back to normal in time for the anime convention this weekend. I promise that one of these days I'll get back to writing, but it will take a miracle to get back on the schedule I had planned.

Damn, I really need to stop forgetting to check in here. I keep missing everything good :(