.....
I can't tell if this is trying to parody anime or if its just incredibly (and typically so) unfunny anime humor. Either way it isn't funny. Comedic timing is god awful and the "jokes" couldn't be less amusing if you were genuinely trying to make them unfunny.
Anyway since I can't tell if you took this seriously or not here's two reviews; the first review is reviewing it as a serious story and the second is reviewing it as if it were a parody.
Review One: Serious
Seriously lack any sort of Pacing with huge amounts of backstory being thrown at us at the beginning rather than shown to us. Characters have no personalty outside of "Hello I am a prototypical anime protagonist/rival/mentor/irritating twat." Tone flitted between apperent seriousness and godawful comedy far to often and erratically to create any sort of interest as a dramatic piece and the story seems to be exactly the same as every other story ever told be an anime.
Try writing characters who behave like normal human beings with actual character motivation rather than bipolar drug atticts with no concept of how to behave in a social setting. Everything that Girl-chan in Paradise points out in parody this does seriously (I think you're serious anyway)
Review Two: Parody
It (in my opinion) accurately represents nearly everything wrong with anime so in that regard it makes for a great commentary on the general suckishness of anime. However that said it still isn't entertaining. It's just like watching all the worst parts of anime boil down into a few minutes. It makes me cringe how bad it is. Try being funny it helps ease the awkwardness of awful anime writing.
Notes:
Voice acting sucks regardless of where you were going with this. Animation isn't great either. Not that it isn't smooth; the characters are just drawn a little awkwardly sometimes.
Can't be arsed to proof read sorry for typos.
