Post all jokes here. okay, i'll start.
What are 3 advantages of getting a 50 bill tattoed on your penis?
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can see your money grow.
3. Your woman can blow as much money as she wants.
made me lol
The Joke Thread
1,730 Views | 33 Replies
At 4/13/07 03:14 PM, Monkey-Boy wrote: Post all jokes here. okay, i'll start.
What are 3 advantages of getting a 50 bill tattoed on your penis?
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can see your money grow.
3. Your woman can blow as much money as she wants.
made me lol
....
nothing to say.
XDeeZeroZero4Two-thousand six.
Where does a bee go to take a piss?
... The BP station! LAWL
Because NG isn't already filled with buckets of funny?
What did the robot...say to the centipede?
</thread>
speedycat sure is speedy!
At 4/13/07 03:22 PM, D-Nightmare wrote: So, there's this conductor...
Insert the Rest of that ridiculous joke..
the conductor replies. "I already told you, I'm just a bad conductor."
...Took too long to read.
Great punchline.
...Please be my lover.
4 nuns go into a church, the first nun says to the father, "father i have sinned for i have given a man a handjob with my left hand...
DIRTY WHORE wash ur hands in the holy water as u go out u fucking slut...
the 2cd nun comes up, *gulp* father i have sinned for i have given a man a blodjob with both my hands...
BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH wash both u fucking hands in the holy water!!!!!!1111111111
now the 4th nun taps the 3rd nuns shoulder and asks if she can go in front of her. the 3rd replies, why?
well i dont want to gargle the water after u sat in it
that joke took for ages! i couldent be asked readin first paragraph somthing about a conductor?????
predictable...
im confused lol y no1 finish there jokes?
2 blondes in a bar
1 ses to the other which is closer the moon or australia?
the other 1 roles her eyes and replies YOUR A FUCKING MORON you can see the moon!!!!!1111
predictable...
At 4/13/07 03:30 PM, muchcoolerthanu wrote: crappy nun joke.
You told it wrong. Even then, it's not a funny joke.
Trust me kid, I've tried. I made the Newgrounds R.O.F.l. a long time ago, and I can't seem to find it. But it failed horribly. This won't work
An American, a Finn and a Swede are in the sauna together. Suddenly there is a "beep beep" sound, and the American starts to look at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" asks the Finn. The American replies
"This is the latest Motorola technology. I've got my pager embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
Then the familiar old Nokia ring tone is heard, and the Finn starts looking at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" ask the other guys. The Finn replies
"This is the latest Nokia technology. I've got my mobile phone embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
The Swede thinks to himself that he'd better not be outdone by these guys, so he leaves the sauna. In a couple of minutes he returns, and there is toilet paper hanging out of his bum!
"What the hell is that??" shout the other guys in unison.
"I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.
At 4/13/07 03:22 PM, D-Nightmare wrote: ?"
"Hahaha, no," the conductor replies. "I already told you, I'm just a bad conductor."
longest post ive ever seen
At 4/13/07 03:47 PM, Stepgangster wrote:
Punchline: "I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.
FOFL.
tell me whatcha think of this
what do gay guys and fight guys have in common?
they both like to get stuffed
what do ya think?
"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum…and one night…one night they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more. They decide they’re going to escape! So like they get up on to the roof, and there, just across the narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in moon light…stretching away to freedom.
Now the first guy he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren’t make the leap. Y’see he’s afraid of falling… So then the first guy has an idea. He says “Hey! I have my flash light with me. I will shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me.” B-But the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says …he says “What you think I am crazy? You would turn it off when I was half way across”.
You get 50 geek points if you can recognize what comic book this is from.
At 4/13/07 03:14 PM, Monkey-Boy wrote: Post all jokes here. okay, i'll start.
What are 3 advantages of getting a 50 bill tattoed on your penis?
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can see your money grow.
3. Your woman can blow as much money as she wants.
made me lol
Ha ha! your killing me!
No i mean it, for the love of God stop.
At 4/13/07 03:22 PM, D-Nightmare wrote:"Hahaha, no," the conductor replies. "I already told you, I'm just a bad conductor."
That is the greatest joke.... I have EVER heard...
My god, I think I love you.
smoke meth and hail satan
One American, one Mexican, and one German are on a sinking boat.
Before they die, one of them suggest to throw off one thing they have most in their country.
The Mexican throws off a Taco and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
The German throws off a tie and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
The American throws off the Mexican guy and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
Somebody make me a cunting signature.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese guy with a Puerto Rican guy?
A car thief who can't drive!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
smoke meth and hail satan
At 4/13/07 04:17 PM, TurtleJuice wrote: This thread is full of unfunny
The objective of the thread was to just relax and tell jokes, but you have to ruin it by saying "IT'S UNFUNNY!"
I am not saying this thread is very funny, but don't post useless shit that has nothing to do with the topic.
At 4/13/07 04:15 PM, Complete wrote: One American, one Mexican, and one German are on a sinking boat.
Before they die, one of them suggest to throw off one thing they have most in their country.
The Mexican throws off a Taco and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
The German throws off a tie and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
The American throws off the Mexican guy and says "We got a lot of these in our country"
That was...cruel joke.
Ok,game of my country:
Finnish drinking game
There are two versions of this game for Finns; regular and advanced.
Regular: Three Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with half a litre of Kossu (Finland's famous Koskenkorva vodka). They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other two have to guess who went outside....
Advanced: TWO Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with a litre of Kossu. They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other guy has to guess who went outside....
smoke meth and hail satan
A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. At the city level contest, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog.
So the boy won and competed in the county level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the region level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the state level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the national level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the continental level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the international contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the system level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the sector level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the quadrant level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That's a REALLY shaggy dog."
So the boy won and competed the galaxy level contest. There, the first judge said, "That's a shaggy dog." The second judge said, "That's a VERY shaggy dog." The third judge said, "That dog's not so shaggy." And he lost.
A man is driving his son to school. He looks at he car's clock for a moment and discovers he has plenty of time to get to the school. However, he wasn't paying attention for a while, and took a U-turn where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I made an illegal turn!" says the man.
"Don't worry, Dad," the son replies, "that police car behind us did the exact same thing."
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A man in a Corvette sees a red light. He slows down, then goes back to the same speed when he passes it. The man gets pulled over by a single policeman.
"What's the problem, officer?" the man asks.
"You forgot to make a complete stop at a red light."
"There was no one coming for miles!"
"That doesn't matter. You did not stop at the red light."
"I slowed down!"
"You were supposed to make a complete stop!"
"But there was nobody in sight!"
The officer, clearly annoyed, beat the man with his nightstick for a while.
The officer asked, "Now, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"
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A man hires a painter to paint his front porch. The painter is paid, and, after a while, he is done.
Before leaving, the painter says, "By the way, that wasn't a A Porsche, that was a Ferrari."
Hello I am Guy......ZOMFG RACIST DETECTED
