My friend while you are at your age girls will take up more of your friends time. Its just the way things happen. As for weve tried everything what do you mean by we and what have you tried. I mean have you talked to your friend about it? What has he said? Please give as many details as possible.

Man I wish I would have found this thread sooner lol.

I am more frequent in the Audio forums but if anyone needs it I can give some relationship advice, I seem to be good with that =)

Hi everyone =)

At 3/3/07 03:50 PM, OCON wrote: Man I wish I would have found this thread sooner lol.

I am more frequent in the Audio forums but if anyone needs it I can give some relationship advice, I seem to be good with that =)

Hi everyone =)

Welcome aboard! always could use some new opinions on topics. We seem to have a shortage of relationship problems, though. Either people are doing fine, or they don't know about us.

At 3/3/07 06:59 PM, Gorillazrock wrote:

Welcome aboard! always could use some new opinions on topics. We seem to have a shortage of relationship problems, though. Either people are doing fine, or they don't know about us.

More than likely they don't know, everyone has problems in some way with a relationship.. Even if a relationship is perfect, that in itself is a problem lol

At 3/4/07 12:06 PM, OCON wrote: More than likely they don't know, everyone has problems in some way with a relationship.. Even if a relationship is perfect, that in itself is a problem lol

Explain how that is a problem? Also you need to understand that there are problems that need help and then there are problems that can be ignored.

You also could not be in a realtionship right now. Some people like being single. They feel more free.

What site are you talking about? Even though e-dating is a little dorky, i'd like to give it a try.

At 3/4/07 12:13 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

At 3/4/07 12:06 PM, OCON wrote: More than likely they don't know, everyone has problems in some way with a relationship.. Even if a relationship is perfect, that in itself is a problem lol

Explain how that is a problem? Also you need to understand that there are problems that need help and then there are problems that can be ignored.

Well if things are "too" perfect things get boring to one of the two partners will more than likely get tired of things. That or they will try to find something wrong with it which may end up being just the fact that things are too perfect.

I don't know if that really makes sense, I don't have much time right now so I might go more into detail a little later or just PM me or something =)

At 3/4/07 09:58 PM, OCON wrote: Well if things are "too" perfect things get boring to one of the two partners will more than likely get tired of things. That or they will try to find something wrong with it which may end up being just the fact that things are too perfect.

Sorry but if there is a solid mature relationship in place the lack of fighting will only lead to you expending energy doing things togeather or for yourselfs that you would other wise waste in argument. Trust me when I say I speak from experiance.

TigerDemon is right. Arguements should be used to mend a realtionship back to a positive state, not to establish a realtionship.

The girl i was going after before is going out with "Todd" because she wants someone who's her oposite. While some differences are important, you still need to be able to talk with someone. If you are too different, you'll just end up fighting, and you won't go anywhere with that.

Wise words. I didn't even think about that you can get tired of being around someone.

At 3/5/07 12:59 AM, Gorillazrock wrote: Wise words. I didn't even think about that you can get tired of being around someone.

This is true thats why even when married you should spend time doing your own thing once and awhile. If you smother each other things can get ugly.

Well, i'm only 18, so it's a little young to be thinking about getting married. I want to get married around 25, because i've seen a couple of cases where my older cousins have gotten married before 20. Never seems to work out for them. I figure around 25, i'll have my life in order, be in the job i want, and i'll have known someone long enough to be with them forever. I don't want to be married to the wrong person.

I have a proposal for the leader/ members here.

I would like to join since I am pretty good at helping others and this crew helped me before with a situation I was in with a now ex-girlfriend. Yea, it didn't work out for all that remeber but its all good. Thanks again for the support I was given here!

Just PM me or post here and let me know if I'm in or not. Thanks.

At 3/4/07 10:02 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

Sorry but if there is a solid mature relationship in place the lack of fighting will only lead to you expending energy doing things togeather or for yourselfs that you would other wise waste in argument. Trust me when I say I speak from experiance.

Oh no no no lol, I didn't mean fighting is awesome, I meant that there has to be some drama or something here and there in order for things to stay interesting. I was dating someone for 7 months and we never once got into a single fight. Even now we haven't officially gotten into a fight and we are best friends and talk every day. We have our disagreements of course, which is natural, but never actually fight.

I personally think a relationship without fighting is an amazing thing, but there has to be something occasionally bad to happen in order for the couple to make it through things together and always stand by eachother to support and help one another. It would help to show that they are bennificial together and this builds an even stronger bond.

I honestly am madly in love with that girl who is my best friend and I still would do anything for her. I do my best to make her happy no matter what it is and I will never stop doing that for her because I believe in true love, and that is exactly what I have for her.

That is a complicated situation her and I have right now, but we still always stand by and support eachother =)

At 3/5/07 08:46 PM, DarkLotusJuggalo wrote: I have a proposal for the leader/ members here.

I would like to join since I am pretty good at helping others and this crew helped me before with a situation I was in with a now ex-girlfriend. Yea, it didn't work out for all that remeber but its all good. Thanks again for the support I was given here!

Just PM me or post here and let me know if I'm in or not. Thanks.

. what excuse would we have to reject you?
"Sorry, we can't allow you to help other people with thier problems. You need to spam more instead."
Of course you're allowed in.

At 3/5/07 11:30 PM, OCON wrote:

At 3/4/07 10:02 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

stuff

he has a point. you need to have some type of disagreements. not necessarily fights, but disagreements and arguing and whatnot do help in a kind of way. perfection gets very boring after a while.

At 3/6/07 12:43 PM, Gorillazrock wrote:

At 3/5/07 08:46 PM, DarkLotusJuggalo wrote: I have a proposal for the leader/ members here.

I would like to join since I am pretty good at helping others and this crew helped me before with a situation I was in with a now ex-girlfriend. Yea, it didn't work out for all that remeber but its all good. Thanks again for the support I was given here!

Just PM me or post here and let me know if I'm in or not. Thanks.

. what excuse would we have to reject you?
"Sorry, we can't allow you to help other people with thier problems. You need to spam more instead."
Of course you're allowed in.

Thank you, I will do my best to help everyone that needs help in anyway. I also have previous knowledge of a relationship with issues so I think my background will be able to play a part in connecting on what people have to say on a a more personal level.

Thanks again.

Yeah, i guess you guys are right. Even though it sucks, you need to argue every once in a while to keep a realtionship strong. The time spent apart helps you realize how much life sucks without them around.

I got a problem.

Well this girl I've known for about 2 years has a special place in my heart. I've told her I liked her last year and as the year grew, over summer vacation my feelings started to wane but I always thought about her. We used to talk for hours and hours.

Just recently She got a hold of my screenname and we started to talk again, after a while we started hanging out and talking alot more. Now the thing is she's told me that she had feelings for on my "friends" now I say this loosely because we've been friends for a long time but we haven't hung out since middle school. We still occasionally talk and say wassup to each other in the hallways but nothing really past the point of that.

Semi-recently we talked until 6 am with each other and she told me things like "I really wish you were here right now" and "I sometimes wish I had a guy I could just fool around with", etc. Now these (to me at least) were dropping hints that she was starting to have feelings for me. When I told her that I liked her, her response was "You know I love talking to you, and when we talk, we talk for hours. I just don't have the same feelings as you do for me. I don't think it's good if we talk as much."

That really hurt me because we've known each other for 2 years and spent almost everyday talking to each other, we talk occasionally now, but she has said the same thing twice before, when I've told her how I felt before. Just now she's gone through with it by not talking to me as much. Three days past and I wanted to just move on and not think about her, but I actually think I love her. She IMed me 2 days ago and we got into a fight because I found out she wasn't telling me something and I asked her why she hides things from me and I don't do that to her. She tells me she's not "touchy feely" and stuff but I don't really know.

I've tried forgetting about her but it doesn't work, as I constantly find myself lookin at her myspace or something. I just can't get her out of my head. She told me she didn't want me to get hurt because she knows what it's like to like someone but for them to not like you back. She's done some things to hint towards her liking me, then she completely does a 180 on me and I don't know where to go from here.

She's mad at me now because she doesn't understand how I truely feel about her because I told her not to talk to me because I was trying to get over her. That's exactly what I said and I don't know if she's just playing mind games with me. I really don't know where to go from here.

At 3/6/07 04:55 PM, TheDepthsofHell wrote:

At 3/5/07 11:30 PM, OCON wrote:

At 3/4/07 10:02 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

stuff

he has a point. you need to have some type of disagreements. not necessarily fights, but disagreements and arguing and whatnot do help in a kind of way. perfection gets very boring after a while.

Yeah, that's what I meant =)

At 3/7/07 11:00 PM, g0t wrote: stuff

Look man she told you how she feels now let her go. Its unhealthy to do anything eles. I mean if she has told you she does not feel the same way LET IT Be. I mean dude she wants you as a friend and thats it. You have to come to terms with this and move on. If you cant well dont talk to her till you can.

If I am harsh sorry but I am drunk. However please let go for your own sanity. I know the pain holding on to hope were there is none can cause. Its not worth it.

At 3/7/07 11:28 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

If I am harsh sorry but I am drunk. However please let go for your own sanity. I know the pain holding on to hope were there is none can cause. Its not worth it.

Thanks man, all I needed was an unbiased opinion. :)

At 3/7/07 11:00 PM, g0t wrote: I got a problem.

Yeah I guess the best way is to try and move on. Or if you want to counter this, pretend like you don't really care. Well not that, act like you care because you really do, just pretend like she doesn't bother you and her actions don't really get to you. Maybe this will make her realize she does like you, or it just wasn't meant to be and you guys will stay friends.

Either way, I don't feel that you guys should stop talking, that just makes things awkward and worse in the future. Try and come to terms with her and just see what happens man =)

I 'm having a massive problem with my love life at the moment.

As you know, Valentines day was only a month ago. I was going to bring this girl out that I love. Ten days before Valentines day, I found out that this girl went to New Zealand and was going to stay there because of family reasons. I was so prepared to tell her how much I really loved her. It broke my heart to hear that she had left. Holding back my tears were almost impossible. The worst part is that she doesn't know how I really think of her.

Just today, I decided a few days agos that I should concentrate on my study more than girls for now, since that my grades are going backwards. On that day, on my very first lesson, I saw her in my class. I said "Hi" to her and asked how she was, but I can't tell her about how I feel about her. I can't seem to bring out the words outloud.

What do I do? I'm in need of help.

P.S: I know that I did post this before as a topic in "General," but someone advised me to post here for worth while tips.

At 3/9/07 06:26 AM, Whiplesh wrote: P.S: I know that I did post this before as a topic in "General," but someone advised me to post here for worth while tips.

With good reason, most of the people are more inteligent than most people to post on the general forums.

As for the whole not sure how you're feeling about her, you're still in love with her (you posting about it is enough to prove that). It just seems like you've lost you're moral for the second. Ok, imagine that you're a baseball coach. You get all pumped for a game, and you push you're team to thier limit to train for it. When you get to gameday, however, it gets rained out. The team feels disapointed, and you feel let down and probably a little foolish. Even though you didn't do anything wrong, you still feel odd.

You're feelings for her will probably fluxuate, like the feelings for the girl i'm going after right now. Just give it time, and you're realize why you started to like her in the first place.

Do you think its ok for a friend to date and exwife of another friend? If yes how long should they wait and should the other friend be asked if they are cool with it. If no why not?

At 3/11/07 12:02 AM, TigerDemon wrote: Do you think its ok for a friend to date and exwife of another friend? If yes how long should they wait and should the other friend be asked if they are cool with it. If no why not?

Hell no I don't think that's cool at all! A true friend would NOT do something like that ever. And if the wife is actually willing then... That is just fucked up =\

Okay, this is more of a 'yeah, I fucked up' thing here, although constructive criticism would be helpful.

- Okay, so I go to this camp in Canada, by the name of Camp Kodiak. Good place, water-skiing, rock-climbing, all that happy-crappy. You stay there for 7 weeks max. 300 people or som, boys n' girls, seperated by gender in cabins or about 10 campers and 3 counselors.
- Kay now they got night activities, like, movie nights, and campfires and shit like that. Every Friday night though, was a dance. A dance, dance. Dates, spiff-clothes, the works. My story starts at my second year, when I was about 15.
- I get ready like normal. A few more of the 'cool' guys in my cabin already had dates, or at least assurances of dances. I didn't, as usual. Not that I tried, I might have otherwise. But although you could always get a dance from one of the girl counselors, I wasn't that desperate to be dancing.
- So I'm out there anyway though. I can dance okay; slow dancings not my thing, but I could pull off a passable moonwalk even back then, and dancing in general was okay. B ut whenerever a slow dance came on, I had to gtfo the floor, and basically fell like shit next to all the other losers who didn't have a date.
- But I say fuck it and get out there anyway before the next one starts. *Bump* "Sorry." I manage to a curly-haired tan girl standing next to me. "It's cool. Wanna dance?" I was probably the luckiest fucking guy in the room. Lydia. Her name was Lydia.
- The whole next 5 weeks I had left in camp had all my free time spent in her company; talking, swimming, accidently sinking a canoe. It was good times. We went on a hayride, she kissed me at the end, and I fucking floated the mile back to my cabin. After a camp fieldtrip to the nearby town of Perry Sound, she managed to get on my bus, and she fell asleep on my shoulder. I sat like a statue the entire way back, afraid of waking her up, only moving to ruffle ruffle her hair with the lightest of touches. Beautiful, smart, I had no clue why she liked me. And I forgot, older too, She was 17.
-The last day of camp, before I got on the bus to the airport, we sat next to eachother and promised to keep in touch. She lived in Canada, and I near Chicago, but we would call every big holiday, and email as often as we could. I got on the bus serene, looking at her through the grimy window. She had kissed me again, and I still had the scent of her hair in my nose.
- I almost didn't make t the next year. A mere half-month before leaving, I was struck with gastroenteritis. I couldn't keep anything down, and lost more than 20 pounds. My parents took my to a hospital. After trying 11 times, a nurse managed to get an IV into my thinned, dehydrated veins. The sleep I managed to get was filled with dreams of her; she had been chief in my mind the last 3 months, and now it seemed like I had waited, only to have her taken away. Against my parents wishes, I got out of bed 3 days later, and forced myself to eat. Cleared by the hospital after regaining 7 pounds, I left only a few hours late.
- I saw her the next day at camp. She said she had waited for my by the road leading into camp. I apologized. We resumed what we had left behind the year before. The next 4 weeks were bliss.
- I made a mistake the 5th. Several actually, but one of the largest that week in particular. We were sitting on the beach again. Lately I had been leaving her there with her friends. She wanted me to stay, I wanted to swim with my friends. Not a big thing, I was sitting with her that day. Then she delivered the bombshell. With a slightly quivering voice, she said "I think I love you."
- I sat there. What? She what? What do I say to that? What do I do? I mumbled thanks and sat there. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I can see her there now, working herself up to asking, and then after the initial relief of telling me, a growing cold or fear as I said nothing. A huge fuckup. Was I that insensitive, youth aside? I guess so.
-The next dance? I begged off, feigning sickness. I was a little freaked, not nowing what to say or do. But how must it have been like for her? To bare herself, then get nothing. The next two weeks, we spent almost no time together. I thought then I didn't do anything, but now, I can see that the silence from me must have been deafening. The beach, and then the dance. What could she do? She was only a year younger than I am now.
- So the next week she dumped me. Dumping is too harsh of a word, she really didn't want to hurt me. But I was dumped. She mentioned she would be going out with another boy(a bald, half-retarded asian kid in my mind at the time) but hoped we could still be friends. I felt crushed, too crushed to notice she wasn't at the dance with him.
- The next week was hell. Literally hell. I saw her everyday, I couldn't help it. At the next dance, I'd almost start crying whenever I heard one of the songs we'd danced to. I had to leave when I heard the one that had been playing when we'd met the year before. I thought I'd be okay when I got home. But it wasn't until then I really started figuring out what I had done.
- I wasn't. I got into a real case of depression. School was shit again. I turned to fucking reading romance-comedy graphic novels. Listened to dark music. Dropped by my grampa's house when he was asleep just so I could open his(unlocked) gun cabinet and stare down the barrel of his Army .45 on bad days. Of which I had a lot.
- I know more about myself, and about her now. I was the dick, the ones you see in movies who ruin the lives of the good girls, I just figured it out sooner. Ever since I was a kid, I've been someone who's really empathetic, but for some reason had trouble understanding her. So I didn't know I was hurting her, but that didn't mean I couldn't figure it out. And when I did, it made me feel like a huge bastard.
- She was my first girlfriend, and my last. I didn't go to either of my proms, didn't go on any dates, didn't ask anyone out. Now that I know what I really did, I wish I could talk to her, wish I could say that I was sorry. But I don't have her email or her phone # anymore. So unless I work some magic, I'm never speaking to her again.
- I've never been the most self-confident guy. My username isn't a joke or anything, and though there are other people out there who are worse off, my combination of empathy, and flawed short-term people skills fucks with me in so many ways. "Why am I worth it?" I ask myself. "Why even try?" You guys can talk about how I'm shooting myself in the foot before I start the race orsomething, and it's true, but it doesn't help. I know this. It doesn't help.
-Wow more than 5,000 words. Sorry for being a space hog. I'm not asking anything in particular, just commenting on the sorry state of my social life. I have buddies I hang out with, watch movies, smoke with, but that's not the same. I'm going to be a sophmore in college and I have no clue how I could ask any girl out.

OK dude that was a lot of words but you came to the right place. Yea sure you screwed up when you were young and couldnt handle tough emotions. I mean who hasnt done that. The fact that you see a mistake is wiser than most people at your age. Trust me I made my share and hell I am going through a divorce right now because of some mistakes I made and that my soon to be exmade. I mean its human nature to mess up. All we can do is learn from it. Now why is your confidance so low? I mean seriously you seem like a nice enough person. However there is one thing that I must warn you about. The fact that your empathic does not help when strong emotions become involved it can lead to you no knowing if they are the person you are reading from or your own. You have to learn to seperate the two and not shut off all emotions within yourself. I would know because I too am empathic with a few other gifts but this is the palce to get into that. What prevents you from making the move on a girl all these years later? What do you think causes your low selfconfidance. Let me know and I am sure I can begin to help the healing.