At 3/18/07 02:34 AM, Gu-rrilla wrote: We call each other once every other two days. And talk on myspace.

Damn, sounds like you guys are really ready for it.

Don't make the mistake i've made before, and wait around. Get it into gear, and go get em tiger!

At 3/18/07 01:27 AM, DaSadGirl wrote:

At 3/18/07 01:06 AM, metalstorm wrote:

That may sound like a good idea and given the circumstances it would probabally be very hard for you understand why dani would not want to rebel.

Not really. I understand that things are easier said than done. :D

Definitley true in this situation.

I know this probabally sounds stupid but the best way I can explain it would be to say that dani didn't feel comfortable rebelling against her mum so she refused to do so.

Thats because she has been raised that way. To always listen to her mother, whether right or wrong. I myself, always tried to make my mother proud, but if it meant to do something that would kill me instead of built me, I'd refuse to do it.

That's one problem that dani has, she can be very submissive and will rarely stand up for herself.

Its good to push your kids to do things, but if you push too much, they'll end up falling over and over again. Her mother doesn't seem to understand that.

To me it almost seems like a refusal to accept it. Both dani and i have confronted her about this issue in the past so I don't see how she could be blind to it.

I feel bad for the girl since from your details, it seems like she's a very good girl.

Yeah she is :)

Standing up to the mother would seem like a good idea. Maybe you can get something into the back of her head if you show her that you aren't like most guys and that you actually care about your girl and her health.

I'd say thats definatley worth a shot. Thanks for the advice.

( 2

At 3/18/07 02:37 AM, TigerDemon wrote: Metalstorm: She needs to go to her schools guidance staff or nurse and tell them the situation. She needs help fast before this stress does some serious harm. Her mother is being neglagent and puting her in harms way. Get professional help fast. If you need more advice pm me or post here whatever you want.

I've decided I'm going to inform dani's school of the situation. I've decided this is probabally the best plan of attack. I went to the same school as her so I have the required contact details and the knowledge of which teachers I should contact.
As far as I know dani's english teacher is the only person on the face of this earth who is able to use logic to convince dani's mum to do something. I also know that she also cares about dani's health as in early 2006 she called dani into her office to talk to her as she suspected dani of having an eating disorder. She then proceeded to call dani's parents and convinced them to book dani into see a psychiatrist. I know there's no way in hell that I would have been able to do that so that if I was going to cantact anyone thats why I rekon she's my best hope.

Good luck to you, metalstorm.
School is important, but this is by far exceeding necessities. Make it known who you're fighting for.

At 3/18/07 01:28 PM, LtSurge659 wrote: Good luck to you, metalstorm.
School is important, but this is by far exceeding necessities. Make it known who you're fighting for.

"Don't let Schooling get in the way of eduction"- Albert Einstein

School is sometimes important, but i would rather learn more about the world on my own rather than people tell me what to learn. While she should do good in school, it should only be to get a good job someday. Most of the things in life that you really need to know aren't taught in school. Her mom needs to realize that.

At 3/18/07 01:56 PM, Gorillazrock wrote:
"Don't let Schooling get in the way of eduction"- Albert Einstein

School is sometimes important, but i would rather learn more about the world on my own rather than people tell me what to learn. While she should do good in school, it should only be to get a good job someday. Most of the things in life that you really need to know aren't taught in school. Her mom needs to realize that.

No no, man. Ya see I'm just technically compacting what you just said. I agree with you.

Ok, i've got an update now.

This girl that i've been looking at for a while (go back a few pages to find the whole story), just found out that her boyfriend is going to move out to California. She's kind of sad right now, and i'm staying by her all the way.

The thing that she's really mad about is that he hasn't told her face to face yet. He posted it on Facebook saturday, and he hasn't talked to her since (they usually talk like 3 times a day online). She thinks that he simply doesn't have the guts to tell her, which is what it seems like. He's going to go to a different college, and she knows that a long range relationship like that isn't going to last. She can't decide if she should just quit now, or hang on for a few more months.

I know it may be a little wrong, but i think this kind of leaves her single again. I've been friends with her though all of her problems, and i may actually have a chance now. All of her previous boyfriends have been whims, but hopefully she want to be with me. Even if it's only for a little while, i think i would be happy.

Also, please read some of the backstory before you reply to this. It explains a lot more.

At 3/18/07 11:39 PM, Gorillazrock wrote: Ok, i've got an update now.
The thing that she's really mad about is that he hasn't told her face to face yet. He posted it on Facebook saturday, and he hasn't talked to her since (they usually talk like 3 times a day online). She thinks that he simply doesn't have the guts to tell her, which is what it seems like. He's going to go to a different college, and she knows that a long range relationship like that isn't going to last. She can't decide if she should just quit now, or hang on for a few more months.

I know it may be a little wrong, but i think this kind of leaves her single again. I've been friends with her though all of her problems, and i may actually have a chance now. All of her previous boyfriends have been whims, but hopefully she want to be with me. Even if it's only for a little while, i think i would be happy.

Yes, it seems she's single, but remember that every break-up has its rebounds. What I mean is... she could be in a delicate place right now. According to what I see, She hasn't made her decision yet.

In your position, I would wait for her to make up her mind. I'm sure she would do the same for you if she were in YOUR position.

You're doing everything for the right reasons, I see. You stay by her, in support. That is the sign of a good BF. Of course, I have little experience, but I know that if you treat 'em just like anyone else(with a sense of respect and dignity), they willl eventually see your efforts and respect them in their own ways, too. Of course, women deserves as much right to anything as a man does, 'cause we were all born on this green earth.
Just make sure to get your points across, and I believe you'll do fine.
I say this with the deepest sincerity.

Well, her boyfriend isn't confirmed that he's going yet. He needs to raise $30,000 to get into the school. He got accepted, it's just rasing the money. If he doesn't raise the cash, then he's not going to go.

Here's the two things that are kind of cruel (one's mine, and one's her)

*She wants him to not get the scholarship, so that he will stay. I find it a little wrong, since this is the dream school he's always wanted to go to. He knows he wants to go, but it's just the cash problem. She wants him to fail so that he stays. I consider that kind of backstabbing she doesn't even consider that:

1. It IS possible to keep a long term relationship. (Hard yes, but possible) She was saying that because he's moving to California, she won't ever see him again, and she has to break off the relationship.
2.She should be supportave of him. He just got into a Highly ranked college, and she's thinking of herself.

I can't really complain, though.

*I sort of want her boyfriend to betray her somehow. I don't want to see her go through that pain, but if he just leaves, she'll most likely hook up with me, but still think about him all the time. I don't want her to focus on someone else. I know that if he did something bad, she would drop him like a rock.

I also don't like her boyfriend so much. I can tell if a realtionship is going to last. I wouldn't keep going after if i knew it was impossible. here are some reasons (He actually reminds me of myself in high school)

1.He gets drunk every weekend. She drinks probably about once every month, and only in small amounts. She seems annoyed by this, and keeps telling me that she wishes he wouldn't drink so much. It makes me think that she has asked him to stop, but he hasn't. I have no proof of this, though

2.He has no balls whatsoever. I went with him and the girl to a club, and he didn't want to dance. She ended up dancing with me instead. She kept looking over, which made me feel kind of like crap. I know she brought him there to dance, but he didn't have the guts. I would do something that could make me looks stupid for someone i love. She told me that she wanted to do "it" it with him one time, and he was too scared. Also, he didn't tell her that he was moving to California face to face. She found out on facebook, and he avoided her.
Being nervious is one thing, but you can't be afraid of everything. Kind of makes you a pussy.

3.He seems to put himself first. He has often called himself "sexy" (Kind of narcisitic). Ever notice that sexy people never say thier sexy? Kills the mood. Also, this wouldn't be so bad, but he's never called her "sexy". Shows me he thinks of himself more than her.

So he gets drunk, he's a sissy, and focuses on himself, and she can't seem to stay away from him for some reason. She even tells me that she thinks he's stupid, and sometimes she "Fucking hates him"

She's chasing someone who it will never work out with, and therefore i'm chasing someone who is focused on someone else.

Doesn't it suck to be the nice guy in the back?

Please Read all of this, if you haven't. I need to know if i'm the only one who sees a problem with this.

At 3/20/07 12:44 AM, DaSadGirl wrote:

Well you sound like the cruel one, yourself. If she wants to end the relationship and is thinking about it, she must not be the one that is looking for true love. You'll probably end up with the same fate.

And isn't that Slutty-McSlut-Slut that fucked some random guy at a party?

Yeah, it is kind of cruel, but all's fair in love and war.

I do know she is looking for someone who understands her, she just doesn't seem to really be considering me right now.

I very well know that i may end up with the same fate, but i will be by her decision not mine. I know i won't cheat on someone if i'm thier boyfriend

And PLEASE quit calling her a slut. I know it was a little bit whorish to do what she did, but she wasn't getting any from her boyfriend (he's too shy, and she was getting desperate. Girls do have those urges too, ya know. I think she hasn't been faithfull simply because she hasn't really loved any of her boyfriends. I think she just wanted to fill a void. I know i can fill that void (We're already great friends), but i can't get her attention it seems. She just wants to keep chasing guys who aren't like her.

She says she likes oposites, but i think her boyfriend history says something different. She's just confused, and if i can be the one to fix it, I might be able to get somewhere.

At 3/20/07 01:22 AM, DaSadGirl wrote: I'm sorry I won't stop calling her that. Just my honest opinion on how I see things. You're making excuses as well. If it was with some guy that she had strong feelings for, then I wouldn't see it that way. Don't say that girls have urges too, as I'm no way defending that a male has the right to do the same, without having the negative name of a whore.

I suppose you're right. I am just sort of making excuses. I fell like she was kind of cheap there, and i really thought she was a little more stable than that.

Maybe she's just stupid and you're just hoping that she will notice and fall for you. Maybe she'll keep on finding other guys to just have as a boyfriend. Fuck 'em, leave 'em, and then at the end, when she's sick of it, she'll go to you, while you were at the side, waiting for her. Kind of like seeing a car you like, then everyone drives it and then you get it all used and shit lol. Sorry if I'm being negative. My imagination just runs wild. ;)

I see what you're going for here, and i don't like it much either. It's something that she's going to have to decide. I'm usually pretty picky about who i date (only had one girlfriend in high school). She seems like she's a mess now, but if she could just meet someone who can give her what she wants (hopefully me), then she won't have to do that kind of stuff. (She wasn't in a realtionship when she did it.)

I know it may seem like a wild goose chase, but i think she'll change in the future. When i look at someone, i don't look at what they're like now, i look down the road. If i think they're a wreck (like she is, i'll admit), but they will eventually be fixed, i'll go after it.

I know how you feel about that. Of course, you can always try to help her, "see the light" but you can only do it so much. Some people are stupid, some are slow learners, and some will never learn.

She's defidently not a slow learner. I find it kind of ironic that she's the she says that "her boyfriend is smart, but he misses the most obvious fucking things". Here i am, one of her best friends, and i haven't given her as much stress in her life as her current boyfriend. I've defidently made the gestures, but she still hasn't done anything. That means one of two things
1. She hasn't noticed
2. She doesn't care

At first, i knew it was option 2, since she even told me that she knew i was coming on to her (classic sign to back off a little). Now, i'm not so sure. Her feelings may have changed, but she like hypmotised by this person who it will never work out with.

I usually can tell if a relationship is going to last for a long time. For example:

My roomate and his girlfriend: will work out defidently. They love each other, and get along great. Might get married someday.

Guy across the hall, and his girlfrind: might work out, but they seem to have sex a little too much (is 3 times a day really necessary). I know this because i'm friends with the guy's roomate, and he jokes about it. Could go somewhere, but he's a little stuck up. You know the kind of guy who's all proper, and thinks only his way matters.

The girl i'm after, and her boyfriend: Friends for a really long time. Too long in fact. I think they crossed the time-frame when they could successfully be boyfriend and girlfriend.
She's too agressive, and he's too passive.
He doesn't care, and she cares too much.
He drinks a lot, and i spend time with her.

Maybe she just doesn't see that spark in me or something. I think that has to be kind of built up, though.

Hello,

My boyfriend is addicted to Newgrounds. When he is over at my house, and I am using my computer for work, he will leave because he is bored that he cannot have the computer. When I am doing work that requires some manual calculations, he will say 'well do you need the computer allll the time?'. I support it, after all, he was on newgrounds long before we were going out but the reason I am feeling bad now is because he is at his mothers house because he has the mumps I cannot see him for two weeks. He performs maintence calls, he has nothing to say but calls because he knows that I will get mad if he doesn't. They are horrible conversations and make me feel bad. I emailed him, but he did not respond, and upon talking to him on the phone he said 'oh I never bothered to check', then he did check, and did not respond. He is not on MSN, despite the fact, that guess what, he's on newgrounds.

I just would like him to care.

At 3/20/07 04:06 PM, TropicalParadise wrote: I just would like him to care.

You should taok to him and explain all of this to him. Communication is key.

At 3/20/07 07:08 PM, TigerDemon wrote:

At 3/20/07 04:06 PM, TropicalParadise wrote: I just would like him to care.

You should taok to him and explain all of this to him. Communication is key.

When i do, he dismisses me, because he says that he DOES care, but what he considers 'caring' doesn't even blip on my radar as caring. So I can't even see it.

A few questions to better understand your relationship:

How long has this relationship lasted?

What unique quality do you see in him that you couldn't see in other guys?

And...
How serious is your relationship?

If these questions are too intrusive, I understand. Just tell us if you want.

I agree with surge, but i defidently see a kind of neglect going on here. This happens a lot to people who's boyfriends/girlfriends drink or smoke.

The habit gets in the way of them having a decent relationship (i'm having someone go through that righ now, actually). You need to realize that it is possible to be addicted to something that isn't actually chemically adictive.

Some people are addicted to computers, videogames, or tv. It seems like this is the same way, but with newgrounds. Hell, he should be seeing this if he is addicted. That should maybe get the point across

If he keeps blowing you off, i would keep getting annoyed with him. If it comes down to it (which i hope it never does), you may have to make him chose between NG (Bad Choice) or You. Now i'm not saying he should quit NG entirely. It's hard to do cold turkey. But he needs to realize that we only live for an average of 70 years. You can't spend all you're time on one thing. Get some variety in you're life!

I also agree, though my family is, how you say, "special".
My grandfather is 93 and he wakes up in the morning to go running every day.

At 3/20/07 10:09 PM, LtSurge659 wrote: How long has this relationship lasted?

9 months

What unique quality do you see in him that you couldn't see in other guys?

He's my perfect companion. He's not perfect, and not perfect for me, but he's the best fit that I think anyone could be. He brings out the best in me and he's the love of my life. I mean I know 9 months isn't a long time but I just don't want to have a day when he's not in my life.

How serious is your relationship?

Very serious, we go to the same university in Canada, and he's going to come with me for four months to work in the Caribbean and stay with my family, so that's a big leap.

I mean it's not a big deal, but I wish he didn't want to be on my computer every second that's he has access to one. It's not so bad that he leaves public situations or cancels plans or anything.

I see, so basically his actions revolve around you, but his addiction more dictates his social life?

I'm trying to think of what I would do if I were addicted to NG, or better perhaps in your shoes.
Anyone else have ideas?

Hey guys,

First off, let me say that this club does a great service to the NG community. Getting advice from a completely neutral party whilst remaining somewhat anonymous would really help with relationship problems. Well done to all of you helping people out.

Now to get on with my dilemma.
My friend and I both like the same girl. We met her at a party two months(ish) ago, and started to get really close. My friend (one of my best I should add), told her that he liked her in a 'more than friends' way last week, at a video night at my house. She felt a little awkward at him saying this and ended up sleeping in my bed while he slept in the lounge with another one of our mates.

This girl and I did a fair amount of joking, spooning, straddling, tickling, cuddling, and just generally mucking around. We were laughing and saying that we would so do each other if we weren't so damn tired and lazy.

When I woke up with her in my arms, I realised just how much I cared for her. I've never been so comfortable with a girl as I am with her. I could feel that the circulation in my arm was cut off, but I didn't move because she was resting on it. I'd have told her then and there that I loved her, but my mate had told her that he liked her the night before...

A few days later, she said she might give my friend a try. A few days after that, I decided that I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore, so I told her. I figured that since she was going to see how things go with my friend, it wouldn't really matter, I just wanted to get it out of my system. But now (not surprisingly now that I think about it) she's all confused as to what to do.

Until last night, my friend didn't know that I had told this girl how I felt, and so we were kinda keeping him in the dark for a while there. But now that everyone knows, the girl has plenty of time to reach a decision as to what she wants to do. Thing is; my friend got all pissy that we would keep that from him, and seems to be feeling betrayed ect...

I hate to question my friend like this, but he has guilted this girl into things before. Nothing as major as this obviously, but still. He is acting now exactly as he was when trying to manipulate her through sympathy. He has the whole "you said you'd try it with me, how can you just say 'I changed my mind'?" angle to work now. He's not a very emotional guy by any stretch of the imagination, but this is an emotional issue. I can't tell if he's serious or not. Sure he's pissed off, but the level of melancholy seems a little off, this guy gets angry, not upset. I really hope he hasn't stooped to that though.

Any advice on what to do next? Should I bring up my doubts of my friend's supposed sadness to the girl? I think that would just be too bitchy and daytime soapish...

I'm really confused, never before have I found myself in a situation so screwed up. I love this girl so much that it-bleh, I'm sure you can guess how I feel about her, this IS the relationships crew after all. But I don't want to lose my friend. And it would hurt a lot to see her with him. And it would be too awkward for her to just stay friends with both of us. There really is no way to win here...

Your advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Unfortudently, there is no way to get out of this without it being akward. If you do end up getting her, whenever you're friend is around, he'll probably hold a little bit of a grudge over you. If he ends up getting her, you'll probably feel a little wierd when they're around you.

Sorry, but i don't see way out of that.

As for actually getting her, he's what i suggest. Since you're friend is playing the "presure her into it" card, i think you should be tell her that you love her, but you realize that it's her decission. It may be hard to come out and say this, but in all reality, it is kind of up to her.

The reason i say this is if you step back and look at the situation from her perspective. You're looking at two people. One makes you feel pressured to do something, which we all secretly hate (peer presure). The other one is giving her the choice of which one she wants. If she gives into peer preasure easily, she'll pick the other guy. If she actually thinks for herself, she'll pick you because she'll realize that you're nice enough to let her choose instead of preasuring her into it.

Good luck at getting her man! I'm looking for someone else right now too.

Well, the other guy cut the pressure shit out when I hinted that I knew what he was doing. I've told her from the start that it's her decision, and to take as much time as she need to reach one. I don't think this girl has ever done anything she didn't want to because of peer pressure. She has however asked her friends what they think she should do, I have the support of one of her best friends, who is also, apparently, a good judge of character (she figured out a major aspect of me in a total of less than 20 seconds of conversation). It's still 2:3 against me though. Of course I told her it's what she thinks that's important.

We're having another video night at my house tonight, it should be... interesting.

At 3/23/07 01:04 PM, DaSadGirl wrote: Yeah, you have a point, but sometimes, two things can't create friction or "spark", no matter what.

( 2

That really kind of sucks. She's one of the only people i can really talk to for a long time and not get bored with. I just think she's looking for a boyfriend she can control, since she seems to keep going out with people who have no guts. Well, i'm not about to give up my self-esteam just so i can serve someone.

She also said that one of her other friends was really nice, helped her when ever he could, and was always there for her. Then she casually mentioned that she was just using him. It's become apparently clear that i wouldn't want to be her boyfriend at this juncture just because she seems to use everyone she sees and spits them out. I've probobably been a victim to this too, probably more than once. I just know that that route leads you to having no friends in the end.

Why the hell did someone i have so much in common with have to be so damn manipulative of othere people? It just is making me rethink even trying right now. Stay in contact, sure, but i don't even think i would be her boyfriend now if she asked me. She just can't commit.

well, thank you for the advice DaSadGirl.

I'll just keep my eyes open, and maybe just become friends with people. Never hurts to meet new people.

I just stopped talking to that girl i was told you about. If she doesn't want to put in an effort into the friendship, I'd rather not have her in my life at all.

that's all.

My GF kept running away and talking to this other girl, and they kept looking at me weird. I think she's planning to break up with me. What should I do? How can I find out?

That's not enough information for us to go on. Could you get into lil more detail about the past of your relationship leading up to this awkward situation?

At 3/27/07 10:12 PM, LtSurge659 wrote: That's not enough information for us to go on. Could you get into lil more detail about the past of your relationship leading up to this awkward situation?

No, there hasn't been any awkward situations. And there's this other boy who keeps following her and hitting on her. I hope that nothing goes wrong.

Well, it may be possible that she is considering breaking up with you. That's most likely what they're talking about. She's debating whether she wants to say with you, or try her luck with the other guy. Try doing something special for her.

Of course, this could be something else, so don't get on me if it turns out to be something different.

Crap, i hate to double post, but i forgot to ask how long you two have been together? The above scenario is more unlikely if you two have been together for a while. If you guys have just recently become B/F G/F, then you may have more risk of her leaving you.