Whats a good convorsation starter? I need a tool to catch girls interest. Usually once I get girls to know me, I can get them to like me. I just have problems with initially catching their interest. I guess I'm sort of looking for a "line", but not really. I just need a way of establishing a friendship.

At 2/27/08 06:53 AM, Black-Lightning wrote: I tried to make things cool with her. I was the only one giving her the effort. I got nothing in return, so I was sick of just looking like a fool. It was pissing me off to say I love you and just get an 'ok' in reply. I texted her telling her I was sorry about what I did, but I didn't deserve this much from her. I really didn't dude. But she kept like reeling me in, then pushing me off again so I just said you gonna gimme a chance or no? She said No, so I said later. Why isn't there need to insult her? She left me for another guy, man. She couldn't even tell me herself. That's pussy. That's stupid. I had to find out from my friend, the guy she likes. Control is something after this situation. I'm making it known that I was with her. I'm gonna leave a mark like her ex that she constantly flirts with.

It doesn't matter what she did. Sure, what she did was wrong, but that doesn't mean you should start acting like an asshole. Behaviour like that is plain childish. She hit you and now you hit back. Instead, try to be the man, and don't hit back.
Also, you said yourself that you don't want anything to do with her anymore, why is it then that you want to leave a mark? Don't waste anymore energy on her man, just move on for real.

I'll give you this hint, just try it: stop texting or trying to let her know how or what you're doing.
You're saying you don't give a fuck anymore, but your actions tell otherwise.

I did man. I told her to text someone who actually wants to talk to her. I seriously stopped texting her and she texted me. I just told her to go away. I said 'I'm leaving you alone like you asked, so you can leave me alone too. I guarantee today will be a fucking dick in the asshole!

That's good, but now it's time to be congruent in this. If you say to yourself that you're going to stop texting her, then do it. Don't text her, including replies. Just stop. It communicates the same message (that you're not interested) only stronger (since you're not wasting energy/money on texting her).

At 2/27/08 08:26 AM, smth wrote:

At 2/27/08 05:54 AM, SpeedMetalSandwich wrote: I just told my best friend i hate her and want nothing to do with her anymore, and she is a fucking bitch about all this. Right decision or not?

well i dont know the situation but if she was your best friend unless she completely destroid your car for no good reason, probably not. it might help if there was a story behind the whole calling her a bitch deal. there might have been a better way to handel the situation.

I have to agree with this. Though I want to add that I think it's not such a good idea to insult someone etc. Why? Because insulting someone has nothing to do with them, it's a weakness inside yourself. The fact that you feel hate for her means that you have holes in your boundary through which she can enter. I will get into this topic some other time.

At 2/27/08 11:18 AM, sirtom93 wrote:

At 2/25/08 03:45 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 2/24/08 05:11 PM, sirtom93 wrote:

stuff

This for a mature responce which is completely different from the rest of the bbs. I like a girl who doesnt know me in particular. Shes the year below me and a slightly know her friend. I really dont know how to get into a spontanious conversation with her even though I have talken to her in past. I always seem to speak crap when speaking to girls and like half pass out lol. So err please help.

Seems to me like you're putting too much importance on girls when you're talking to them. And I detect a hint of trying to get their approval.
You know, I see this a lot. Guys tend to think that a 'spontanious' conversation will make things different, but it won't. It's not some magic spell you can use.
Since I don't know any specifics of your situation, all I can advice right now is to read the post I made earlier about Locus of Control. Read that and keep it in the back of your mind the next time you talk to anyone.

At 2/27/08 12:16 PM, CTM222 wrote:

At 2/27/08 11:59 AM, druglord1 wrote: OK HERES MY PROB
ok so there is that girl
wich is my friend (not girlfriend and we friend for only half a year)
and i am in love with her
and im going crazy becouse if i ask her to be my gf she maybe say yes and its all ok
maybe she would say no but she wont be my friend any more

WHAT SHOULD I DO?
note:
i am xtreamly shy

You are far from alone in this problem.. It would be weird not to be shy, especially if you are new to the idea of asking girls out..

This is mainly a problem with yourself. It is a confidence issue. I doubt that she will stop being your friend. If she likes you (as a friend at least) YOUR opinion of HER shouldn't change HER opinion of YOU.
But how will you know what she will say unless you ask or talk to her..

Yes, CTM is right, definitely a confidence issue. And another problem most guys have: you think too much. You're thinking about what she's feeling and what she'll say to you. Why? If you could think of what she was thinking, you wouldn't be here right now. You're thinking about what she saying having your brain. Stop doing that, don't worry about it.
And yes, it's indeed true that her opinion shouldn't change because of what you say. Hell, she's a girl, she probably already knows what you feel for her.
For now, read my post about Locus of Control on the previous page, it should help a lot.

Vincoid. Think you could do a post on these self confidence issues next please? Its one of the most common problems on here and would therefore be most usefull for reference.

Sure, I'll make one tomorrow. Though I must say that Locus of Control is a great method for reducing insecurities. If you change to that inner locus of control, and thus get rid of the need to impress and get approval, the confidence will come on it's own, especially when you see how people react to this state of mind.
Btw, I'm changing this daily thing into a two day thing. That way we can discuss them more, along with other problems, without me running out of time for animation etc.

At 2/27/08 12:29 PM, Wtfpwn wrote: Whats a good convorsation starter? I need a tool to catch girls interest. Usually once I get girls to know me, I can get them to like me. I just have problems with initially catching their interest. I guess I'm sort of looking for a "line", but not really. I just need a way of establishing a friendship.

What you're looking for is a quick fix, a technique. What you need is a skill. If I give you a line, you will only have on line, and since you don't have the skill, you're going to have a hard time applying it and learning new lines. If you learn the skill, the technique will take care of itself.

In short, I can't give you a line. I can, however, tell you this: just go talk to them. You don't have to do or say something special to get them to like you.

So how should I talk to someone if their in a big group and I dont "really" know any of them.

Hey there, It's me again (the one about the Asian)

I got to say, your advice really boosted my "courage", the girl I was talking about said I should join up in soccer, not really my sport but I'm seriously thinking about it, and since some of my friends asked me too, I'm obviously more athletic than I thought. }:{D>

Anyway, reading though some of these pages, I have to ask, where'd you learn all this, you seem wise in the ways of life I would say, I'm even starting to think of taking a "do it now" lifestyle, we get one life to live, why am I waiting for permission?!!?!? Lol, so I guess I'm here to thank you.

At 2/27/08 03:11 PM, sirtom93 wrote: So how should I talk to someone if their in a big group and I dont "really" know any of them.

Hmmm, well, groups are a bit different. They're basicly the same as a single person, with the only exception that you're talking to some more people. But, that completely changes when you don't know any of them. They might think you're sort of 'invading' their group, but there is one thing to remember: as long as you're cool with it, it doesn't really matter what you do. As long as you do your own thing.

What really works well, and I really like this one, is go up to a group (great when it's all girls) and ask them about something and say you wanted some female perspective on it. There is a 99% chance that'll get right into it. Best to use with this is something that has to do with women. Like: who lie more, men or women? It's great to see what they think about it and it's a great way to start a convorsation, especially in a group. What's important though is that you don't kiss their ass by giving them the answer you think they want to hear. Instead, give your honest opinion. Mess around with them :P
Then, after a while when you're all having fun, say: "It was fun talking to you but I've got to go." Then turn, as to walk away, but when you're about to walk, turn back and follow it with: "You guys email?" They'll say yes. You take a piece of paper and a pen and hand it over to the one you like: "Here, write it down." She'll start writing (or she'll ask why, in which case you say "so I can stalk you and send 50 messages a day untill you change your account" with a serious face. She'll laugh and start writing anyway). Then, when she's halfway writing it, say: "You sure that's your real email? Cause I still think women lie more than men.".
This one, of course, only applies if that was your question.

Try it and tell us how it went, you'll learn even more from that ;)

At 2/27/08 03:30 PM, JakFro5t wrote: Hey there, It's me again (the one about the Asian)

I got to say, your advice really boosted my "courage", the girl I was talking about said I should join up in soccer, not really my sport but I'm seriously thinking about it, and since some of my friends asked me too, I'm obviously more athletic than I thought. }:{D>

Anyway, reading though some of these pages, I have to ask, where'd you learn all this, you seem wise in the ways of life I would say, I'm even starting to think of taking a "do it now" lifestyle, we get one life to live, why am I waiting for permission?!!?!? Lol, so I guess I'm here to thank you.

Thanks, you're welcome ;)

I actually learned this stuff from other guys, some of which are among the greatest with women on the whole planet. Best part is that is not only they teach a lot about women, but also about things that apply to both women and life itself.
They too have learned this stuff from other guys and pass it on to others, like I do here.

About the "do it now" lifestyle, I'd say you're on the right track. And it's good to see that you're getting rid of the idea of needing permission ;)

I hope you stick around for a while. That way you can learn even more, read the parts I'll submit every other day, and maybe help out other guys with what you've experienced ;)

What's the general idea of this crew, then? I've read the first post, and it seems a little vague, and I know that clubs tend to evolve and change over time.

I'm getting the sense that it's just a place for people to talk about relationships and get/give advice? If so, I'd be happy to post here on occasion. I've been in my share of bad relationships, so you'll have to forgive me if my advice can tend to be a little on the cynical side.

At 2/27/08 03:58 PM, NEVR wrote: What's the general idea of this crew, then? I've read the first post, and it seems a little vague, and I know that clubs tend to evolve and change over time.

I'm getting the sense that it's just a place for people to talk about relationships and get/give advice? If so, I'd be happy to post here on occasion. I've been in my share of bad relationships, so you'll have to forgive me if my advice can tend to be a little on the cynical side.

You are correct. Some one new giving advice would also boost the variety in answers, because Vincoid, you're not always right. (Usually right, though.)

At 2/27/08 05:05 PM, sweet-tooth-pico-fan wrote: You are correct. Some one new giving advice would also boost the variety in answers, because Vincoid, you're not always right. (Usually right, though.)

Heh, cool. To be honest, I don't think there are any 'right answers' in relationships, as they're all different, so what works for one relationship may not work for another. It's all circumstantial on many different factors within the relationship, really.

At 2/27/08 03:32 PM, Vincoid wrote:

At 2/27/08 03:11 PM, sirtom93 wrote:

stuff.

I fear that may not work but me being me I will give it a try.

At 2/27/08 04:05 AM, Vincoid wrote:
Can you tell me though what it was? I would like to see if you understand the whole thing here, and if your solution connected with that.

Sorry I took forever and six days to respond ^o^

I wanted to ask how I should treat the following situation: I have a friend--she's a girl--and she has a boyfriend, whom I know fairly well. We're on good terms, anyways.

Now, what happened was, I'd see her every other day or so, when she wasn't with her boyfriend, and we'd chat, hug, she'd admire my hair, etc. Of course, she acted very much the same when she was with her boyfriend, however these chance occasions prompted a friend of hers to dub me her "Secret Lover" as a bit of a joke. We would laugh it off and continue--it didn't bother us.

Unfortunatley, people must have heard it and got thoughts, because eventually I was confronted by her boyfriend. He seemed kinda apprehensive, but in essence, told me to back off in a friendly manner. The way I see it, he was genuinely nervous about it--I got the feeling that I could take her with little trouble if I wished to, which I didn't. Thing is, he's a thin scrawny dude and I'm tall and beefy.

Basically, I just told him not to worry about it, and that her friend was just saying some shit as a joke. He seemed to accept it, and I think everything's relatively ok. I was going to ask if I should behave any differently, or just continue to hang with her.

I decided that I'm just gonna be more casual about it, not going out of my way to see her or anything, and if I see her in the halls, then so be it. I've also decided to try to avoid the hugging for a while.

Now, however, I have a new question:

Does it count as flirting if a girl says this:

"Dude, that first night when you get drunk, you are gonna get seduced soooo bad. "

I responded, "Hey, you can always hope." Then I laughed a bit.

She just said, "Yeah, too bad I'm over here." (she lives in Vegas and I'm in Virgina--it was over the phone)

Flirting or no?

At 2/27/08 07:19 PM, Sistine1408 wrote: Now, however, I have a new question:

Does it count as flirting if a girl says this:

Sounds like there's definite flirty undertones in that little snippet of conversation. What you have to remember though is sometimes flirting is just flirting, and doesn't necessarily mean that the girl who's flirting with you will want to take things further.

I've flirted with other girls when I've been in relationships, and to be honest it's just a bit of fun, and I never really had any intentions of taking it any further should the opportunity arise. Sometimes you just have to take it at face value and not get so hung up on what it all means.

Also, the fact that she lives a fair way away from you could be another factor. Sometimes girls act a lot more openly with guys when there's factors involved (such as distance) that pretty much guarantee nothing can seriously happen.

At 2/27/08 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 2/27/08 07:19 PM, Sistine1408 wrote: Now, however, I have a new question:

Does it count as flirting if a girl says this:

Sounds like there's definite flirty undertones in that little snippet of conversation...

Okay, I think I get it. Yeah, it kinda sucks--we met at the party of a mutual friend, and I doubt we'll be seeing each other much.

I never thought of it like the whole, "Flirtin' cuz I can an' we won't evar see each uther" thing, you have a good point though.

But hey, like I said, I can always hope; I'll be seeing her again sometime next month!

At 2/27/08 03:04 PM, Vincoid wrote: In short, I can't give you a line. I can, however, tell you this: just go talk to them. You don't have to do or say something special to get them to like you.

Yes I do. I need something that grabs their interest. I need some reason to talk to them. You can't just simply walk up to a girl and start flirting with them. You need a conversation starter of some kind. That holds true for talking to anyone, not just a cute girl.

At 2/27/08 10:53 PM, Wtfpwn wrote: Yes I do. I need something that grabs their interest. I need some reason to talk to them. You can't just simply walk up to a girl and start flirting with them. You need a conversation starter of some kind. That holds true for talking to anyone, not just a cute girl.

You just need to find something that you both have in common. It can be something extremely small, it doesn't matter, but once you have them talking to you about something they're interested in, then no problem. Obviously it's hard for us to recommend exactly what to say to her, as we don't know anything about you or her.

So then, today, I've been told at least 20 times, that if I want her back, I need to act like I don't care and let her come crawling to me.
My good friend 0CON, here on NG, had a predicament like this once, and so I called him up. He told me to just let it go. Over time she'll realize that she left a really good guy. And I'm not trying to boost myself up or anything, but I think I did really well with her. She being my 3rd girlfriend and the only one I actually gave a shit about. I just took my playful nature too far, for her anyways.
So I guess I'll be serious this time, yes, I cracked again today. I hate when I can't do something, but yeah, I'm whipped, I can admit it, and I'm cool with that. I care about her a lot.
I picked up smoking again. I feel good getting tobacco in my system and my pot days perhaps begin tomorrow before school. Haven't decided yet.
I hate having class with Ember all day tomorrow. I hate hearing talk about guys and shit with her little girlfriends, but I guess I'll just think about getting high or something all day to keep my mind off of her. All good.
Do you guys recommend I try to make Ember jealous, or no? I know some of you, Vincoid, would suggest moving on, but I really want her back. I know exactly how to make her jealous, but it'll be hard to do. I could do it though if I wanted.
I'm just kind of rambling on, but I think I'm gonna get into astrology. A lot of it is true for me so far. According to our match making, Ember and I, it says that she requires constant attention from me, she did, and that I get frustrated because she never shows any towards me, she hardly did. I used to wonder if I did good things for her because she never said when I did something good, only when I fucked up, which happened a lot.
So Vincoid, be serious here. How do I win her back. Everyone else is free to answer as well.

At 2/27/08 11:12 PM, Black-Lightning wrote: So Vincoid, be serious here. How do I win her back. Everyone else is free to answer as well.

I'd like to chime in if I may.

In my personal experience, the worst thing you can do when you want a girl back is chase her. I know you've already heard this, but it's honestly true. My last girlfriend wanted me back after she cheated on me, and because of what she'd done, I didn't want her back at first. As soon as I realized I wanted her back, she decided she wanted to move on.

It's natural to feel the way you feel, but my advice to you is to try and move on. I know you probably don't want to, but in time you'll see that it's really the only option.

At 2/27/08 12:29 PM, Wtfpwn wrote: Whats a good convorsation starter? I need a tool to catch girls interest. Usually once I get girls to know me, I can get them to like me. I just have problems with initially catching their interest. I guess I'm sort of looking for a "line", but not really. I just need a way of establishing a friendship.

Great conversation starters or "Openers" can vary, A good technique is to approach with something indirectly. Here are some quick tips...

When approaching a group, make sure you are talking to all of them, and have equal or slightly higher energy then they do. Then say something like this

"Hey Guys, lemme get your quick opinion on something, my friend and I were discussing this a moment ago, and we need a female's opinion. One of our friends has been dating this girl for about three weeks, and is already planning on moving in with each other. How long do you think a couple should be dating before moving in with each other?

Now I believe that... (your opinion), what do you think?"

The BreakDown

quick opinion

make sure you set a time constraint that way they don't think you'll be there long, but if you make a good impression you can drop the constraint.

my friend and I were discussing a moment ago

This will root the question, that way they don't think your taking a poll or writing a newspaper artical

The Whole Question

This will give a neutral conversation to start out with, and also to see their opinion on this subject.

Your opinion

Make sure you are not changing your opinion to match the group, thats why I would state my opinion first. That way they don't think they have control over you.

Summary

this is meant to be an example, you can use this as reference, but try to come up with your own opinion openers. It could even be a question from complete curiosity, just as long as you root it, and give the time constraint, they shouldn't mind.

AFTER THE QUESTION -

Say something, like "wow thanks for your opinion" Then act like your about to walk away, but then turn back and ask "how do you guys all know each other?"

Then start talking, and then sit down with them, and have the conversation from then,

If you want more stuff like this, I suggest you look into this book "The Game" - By Neil Strauss

At 2/18/08 02:21 AM, Vincoid wrote:

Ah, a typical scenario. Let me explain what I think happened here:

-You give your number, she calls to get to know you, you turn out be nic to hang out with, she tests you by 'showing' you her feelings.
-Time passes, she keeps feeling stuff for you, you hang out again.
-You don't see her very often but talk on the phone every once in a while. Now, here is what I think went wrong. Either the attraction decreased, or she is getting to like you more and thus tests you more.

This girl didn't call you back while she said she would. Guess what? This happens to guys all the time. They meet a girl who shows interest, they give them there number but the girl never calls. Why did the girl accept the number? Attention. There are girls who will accept your number knowing, in advance, that they will not call you back.
But your situation is obviously different since you already know the girl and have met her etc.
So what's going on here? Like I said, she is testing you. You did the right thing when you waited for her to call you everytime, so now she is testing you to see if you can keep that up by being flaky.
Not calling a guy back is a great test for girls to see if the guy doesn't give a shit, calls her on it, or (the most common) starts calling her every ten minutes to get a hold of her.

What to do: call her again. But don't ask her if she can make it or not. Call her on being flaky. Tell her that she has to hold true to her word if she wants to have a chance with you. NEVER communicate that you need her.
Also, to avoid girls not calling back, don't arrange a date or meeting with a girl 2 or more days before the actual meeting. That way, they know if they have time for you and they tend to be less flaky since you don't seem needy.

Hey thanks man, you really know your stuff... I think i should hang around here more and get some advice, but anyways here is an update

The day we were suppose to hang out, she didn't call until around 6:30pm then she asked if we were still going to hang out, by this time I had already figured she wasn't going to call me again, so I just started working on art and stuff.

So I told her this, "Umm.. nah I think its already getting pretty late, I've got things I gotta do tonight, you should have called earlier, then we could have hung out, but oh well your loss." She was shaken because this is the first time I've denied a chance to hang out with her ( This is when I started learning the Game btw )

After I said that, I started receiveing multiple IOI's from her, I let her know that I was getting low on money and I had to save it so I could find a job and stuff, she said that I should get a job where she lives and live with her and stuff... anyways

well just yesterday I gave her a call just to chat, I was acting like I didn't need her, and it seemed to be working pretty well... I also negged her a bit, almost every time I did, she started Qualifiying herself to me... We talked for roughly a half hour.

So now i'm going to just wait, and let her call me next, she said she was going to let me know next time she comes out to visit.

Hopefully i get a job before then! *sigh*

At 2/27/08 11:25 PM, darx wrote: If you want more stuff like this, I suggest you look into this book "The Game" - By Neil Strauss

I've read that book, and actually used some of the stuff in it. It does work, but it felt to me like I was just trying to be somebody I wasn't just for the sake of some possible sex with a random girl. Overall just not worth it for me, as I'm fine with talking to women, and don't really need that shit. I can imagine it's good for people who don't find it so easy, though.

At 2/27/08 11:42 PM, NEVR wrote:

I've read that book, and actually used some of the stuff in it. It does work, but it felt to me like I was just trying to be somebody I wasn't just for the sake of some possible sex with a random girl. Overall just not worth it for me, as I'm fine with talking to women, and don't really need that shit. I can imagine it's good for people who don't find it so easy, though.

I tend to mix my own style with the stuff from the game, I use the ideas from the game to start conversations, It depends who you are, with the way you use the technique, I use it to start serious relationships, and to show off my own characteristics. Works fine, I was alway stuck in the Friend zone, but now I know how to avoid it.

At 2/27/08 05:13 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 2/27/08 05:05 PM, sweet-tooth-pico-fan wrote: You are correct. Some one new giving advice would also boost the variety in answers, because Vincoid, you're not always right. (Usually right, though.)

Just because you disagree, doesn't mean I'm wrong ;)

Heh, cool. To be honest, I don't think there are any 'right answers' in relationships, as they're all different, so what works for one relationship may not work for another. It's all circumstantial on many different factors within the relationship, really.

That's true. But what I try to teach here are skills, and skills go beyond knowing what to say. It's being able to handle every situation instead of knowing what to say in just one. And if you have the skills, you can handle anything in any relationship, no matter how different they are.

At 2/27/08 10:53 PM, Wtfpwn wrote:

At 2/27/08 03:04 PM, Vincoid wrote: In short, I can't give you a line. I can, however, tell you this: just go talk to them. You don't have to do or say something special to get them to like you.

Yes I do. I need something that grabs their interest. I need some reason to talk to them. You can't just simply walk up to a girl and start flirting with them. You need a conversation starter of some kind. That holds true for talking to anyone, not just a cute girl.

Why? To impress them? You don't have to impress them.
The real problem is that most guys don't know that girls actually want you to talk to them. You don't need to do a barrel roll before you can talk to them. Just talk.
And btw, flirting starts before the actual conversation. Just make eye contact, keep it untill she looks away and then approach her and start talking.
If you want, make fun of her because she looked away, tell her that she's shy, tell her that you hope she isn't as shy as you think she is because you need some challenge. You can come up with millions of things like this. That's the skill.

At 2/27/08 11:24 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 2/27/08 11:12 PM, Black-Lightning wrote: So Vincoid, be serious here. How do I win her back. Everyone else is free to answer as well.

I'd like to chime in if I may.

In my personal experience, the worst thing you can do when you want a girl back is chase her. I know you've already heard this, but it's honestly true. My last girlfriend wanted me back after she cheated on me, and because of what she'd done, I didn't want her back at first. As soon as I realized I wanted her back, she decided she wanted to move on.

It's natural to feel the way you feel, but my advice to you is to try and move on. I know you probably don't want to, but in time you'll see that it's really the only option.

I have to agree on this one. Chasing after girls makes them run, just like running away froma girl makes them chase you. The only thing you can do is back off, no matter how bad you want her.

At 2/28/08 03:12 AM, darx wrote:

At 2/27/08 11:42 PM, NEVR wrote:

I've read that book, and actually used some of the stuff in it. It does work, but it felt to me like I was just trying to be somebody I wasn't just for the sake of some possible sex with a random girl. Overall just not worth it for me, as I'm fine with talking to women, and don't really need that shit. I can imagine it's good for people who don't find it so easy, though.

I tend to mix my own style with the stuff from the game, I use the ideas from the game to start conversations, It depends who you are, with the way you use the technique, I use it to start serious relationships, and to show off my own characteristics. Works fine, I was alway stuck in the Friend zone, but now I know how to avoid it.

I haven't read that book but it was told before that it's a great book so I might get it in the near future ;)

It would be great to have you around here as a regular since you know your stuff. Especially since you get it, which you showed by mixing your own personality with the stuff from the book.
That's really the most important thing to remember about this. You're not changing your personality, you're adding skills.

I'll see if I have time later today to write something, I'm kind of swamped with animation right now...

At 2/27/08 03:04 PM, Vincoid wrote: I have to agree with this.

Fixed it, cheers anyway dude!

At 2/28/08 03:36 AM, SpeedMetalSandwich wrote:

At 2/27/08 03:04 PM, Vincoid wrote: I have to agree with this.

Fixed it, cheers anyway dude!

Ehhh, okay... thanks I guess :P

At 2/28/08 03:23 AM, Vincoid wrote:

It would be great to have you around here as a regular since you know your stuff. Especially since you get it, which you showed by mixing your own personality with the stuff from the book.
That's really the most important thing to remember about this. You're not changing your personality, you're adding skills.

I'll see if I have time later today to write something, I'm kind of swamped with animation right now...

yup no problem, I learned some stuff from the book, but the most knowledge I got was from a torrent download about the book, Search the Torrents for "The-Annihilation-Method" It comes with Audio files, PDF, and DVD files, Pleanty of information on the Style method, I got the book afterwards and it all runs so smoothly... I'll give you an outline of the method...

Opener- The way of coming up "under the radar" basically the "target" shouldn't feel like your hitting on her.

DHV- Displaying Higher Value, basically doing things/ telling stories that will make you unique, something that most guys don't do well.

Kino- Building a metaphysical relationship with the target, by isolation and building comfort.

Close- After you run your routine, if you like the girl, after you have calibrated, you can try to move to a different place with the group, # close, or if you are in it for the nookie F Close.

BTW: did you see my update on the problem i've been having? a few posts above...

At 2/28/08 04:10 AM, darx wrote:

At 2/28/08 03:23 AM, Vincoid wrote:

It would be great to have you around here as a regular since you know your stuff. Especially since you get it, which you showed by mixing your own personality with the stuff from the book.
That's really the most important thing to remember about this. You're not changing your personality, you're adding skills.

I'll see if I have time later today to write something, I'm kind of swamped with animation right now...

yup no problem, I learned some stuff from the book, but the most knowledge I got was from a torrent download about the book, Search the Torrents for "The-Annihilation-Method" It comes with Audio files, PDF, and DVD files, Pleanty of information on the Style method, I got the book afterwards and it all runs so smoothly... I'll give you an outline of the method...

Opener- The way of coming up "under the radar" basically the "target" shouldn't feel like your hitting on her.

DHV- Displaying Higher Value, basically doing things/ telling stories that will make you unique, something that most guys don't do well.

Kino- Building a metaphysical relationship with the target, by isolation and building comfort.

Close- After you run your routine, if you like the girl, after you have calibrated, you can try to move to a different place with the group, # close, or if you are in it for the nookie F Close.

I already know this stuff from David Deangelo. He talks a lot about all of this in his programs, in which he also recommends that book. Though I think it's not so much that you must display higher value by being unique. It's displaying higher value that makes you unique since there aren't many men who do that. Best way to let her know that you have high status is by Prizability. It's about communicating to her that you're the prize she to win over. You do this by not qualifying yourself to her, but the other way around (like you did).
I learned this from another amazing guy named Swinggcat.

BTW: did you see my update on the problem i've been having? a few posts above...

I have, it's great, not really a problem though right :P
I can't really add anything because it's exactly what you should have done. Only thing I'd like to say is that nagging on girls, or teasing them, works really well. David Deangelo calls this Cocky and Funny, and it's absolutely amazing what you can achieve with it.

At 2/28/08 04:23 AM, Vincoid wrote:

I already know this stuff from David Deangelo. He talks a lot about all of this in his programs, in which he also recommends that book. Though I think it's not so much that you must display higher value by being unique. It's displaying higher value that makes you unique since there aren't many men who do that. Best way to let her know that you have high status is by Prizability. It's about communicating to her that you're the prize she to win over. You do this by not qualifying yourself to her, but the other way around (like you did).
I learned this from another amazing guy named Swinggcat.

I have, it's great, not really a problem though right :P
I can't really add anything because it's exactly what you should have done. Only thing I'd like to say is that nagging on girls, or teasing them, works really well. David Deangelo calls this Cocky and Funny, and it's absolutely amazing what you can achieve with it.

Yeah i've heard about both of these guys, so you basically know the core of the technique then. Neat, A fellow newgrounder and a fellow PUA, haha

What flash stuff you working on?
I think I might actually submit something tomorrow, I'm going to sleep here soon, so I can work on it tomorrow all day.

well talk to yah guys tomorrow

Ok, I've got some time, so I would like to use that to address to the confidence issue that, like CTM said, seems to be the main problem.

#2: Confidence, Fear and Beliefs

First thing that I want to let you know is that there really is no such thing as confidence. Confidence is lack of insecurity. Get rid of the insecurities and you'll feel confident.

As an example, we can use this post:

At 2/27/08 03:30 PM, JakFro5t wrote: I got to say, your advice really boosted my "courage", the girl I was talking about said I should join up in soccer, not really my sport but I'm seriously thinking about it, and since some of my friends asked me too, I'm obviously more athletic than I thought. }:{D>

What was going on was this:
- He felt insecurity about his appearance.
- This insecurity added the thought of girls not liking him because of that.
- This has/could have installed the belief that you need to be muscular and physically able to provide protection.

But, after my advice and after he talked to the girl, he found out that being muscular is not at all a must. This destroyed the insecurity and with that the negative belief and thought, creating room for 'confidence/courage'.

The near-fatal mistake he made at the beginning was to assume that being muscular is a necessity. So, what to do? Don't assume. Because when you start to believe it, it's usually very hard to get rid of it. Instead, you need to know what really is going on.

I recognized this too in the post made by Wtfpwn. He's probably had some bad experience which installed the belief of needing to say something 'interesting' in order to get a girl. You can clearly see that beliefs in this since he resisted when I told him this is not needed.
Beliefs like this can also be created by techniques. If you use a technique once (like a line), without having the skill, and it works, you'll get the idea that it works all the time. So you'l keep using the line, but to your own amazement, it doesn't work. But, since it worked the first time, you'll probably start thinking that it's either the girls problem, or that you didn't try hard enough.
By this time, the idea changed into a belief: it'll work as long as I try harder. That's when things go bad.
Beliefs like that are ussualy pretty tough to get rid of since you've had success with it, so it simply has to work. In theory that is. Your theory. But your theory isn't always the right one. If it was, you wouldn't be here right now.

Positive beliefs work best. Here are some beliefs guys have (guys that are successful with women):

- Women want me.
- If I want to, I can get a woman anywhere and anytime.
- I want women, but I don't need them.
- I'm the prize women want to win.

As you can see, all of them are pretty cocky and assumptive, but also highly optimistic and confident. And, as many of you won't know, is that your beliefs are being communicated by you in a subconscious way. This meaning that women will start to belief what you belief. So, if you're beliefs are negative, like: I can't get a girl to like me, then she'll believe this and won't like you. However, with these optimistic beliefs, she'll start finding you more and more interesting without knowing why (since this belief trade is a subconscious system inside her), thus creating mystery and that feeling of not 'being able to figure you out'.

How can you start believing these beliefs? By repeating them in your head untill they're stuck in your head. Drive them into your subconscious, it'll chase the insecurity away, allowing you to feel confidence, which is also very appealing to other people (not only women), allowing more success in life.

That's about it, I don't want to make it too long :P

At 2/28/08 04:27 AM, darx wrote:

At 2/28/08 04:23 AM, Vincoid wrote:

I already know this stuff from David Deangelo. He talks a lot about all of this in his programs, in which he also recommends that book. Though I think it's not so much that you must display higher value by being unique. It's displaying higher value that makes you unique since there aren't many men who do that. Best way to let her know that you have high status is by Prizability. It's about communicating to her that you're the prize she to win over. You do this by not qualifying yourself to her, but the other way around (like you did).
I learned this from another amazing guy named Swinggcat.

I have, it's great, not really a problem though right :P
I can't really add anything because it's exactly what you should have done. Only thing I'd like to say is that nagging on girls, or teasing them, works really well. David Deangelo calls this Cocky and Funny, and it's absolutely amazing what you can achieve with it.

Yeah i've heard about both of these guys, so you basically know the core of the technique then. Neat, A fellow newgrounder and a fellow PUA, haha

Hahaha, that's great man. The only guy I know who also knows all this stuff is my best friend. Besides that I've never met one before.

What flash stuff you working on?

A trilogy for Pico Day. It's going to be 25-30 minutes long in total, and will contain lots and lots of FBF fights. I hope to win some money with it and of course, to make name on NG.

I think I might actually submit something tomorrow, I'm going to sleep here soon, so I can work on it tomorrow all day.

well talk to yah guys tomorrow

Would like to see it. Post a link when you've submitted it ;)

cool thanks for the advice guys.