At 9/25/13 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a throne waiting for me in hell.

Granted, the throne is made out of dildos, fire, yummy looking cupcakes, three dead prostitutes, and your Teddy bear that you lost when you were five years old. Your chained to it and force to watch reruns of crappy television sitcoms for all eternally.

I wish for a pussy cat.

At 9/26/13 08:21 PM, Tankdown wrote: I wish for a pussy cat.

Granted, and then it eats your balls.

I wish NG wasn't dead.

At 9/27/13 03:18 PM, VinnyXY wrote:

At 9/27/13 08:48 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/26/13 08:21 PM, Tankdown wrote: I wish for a pussy cat.

Granted, and then it eats your balls.

I wish NG wasn't dead.

Granted, but you are now dead. You gave up your own life to revive Newgrounds.

I wish I was very well-organized.

Granted, but everyone else around you becomes completely chaotic, and you can't handle it and commit suicide.

I wish I could pull an epic prank on the BBS without getting banned.

At 9/28/13 07:50 PM, VinnyXY wrote:

At 9/28/13 08:06 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/27/13 03:18 PM, VinnyXY wrote:

At 9/27/13 08:48 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/26/13 08:21 PM, Tankdown wrote: I wish for a pussy cat.

Granted, and then it eats your balls.

I wish NG wasn't dead.

Granted, but you are now dead. You gave up your own life to revive Newgrounds.

I wish I was very well-organized.

Granted, but everyone else around you becomes completely chaotic, and you can't handle it and commit suicide.

I wish I could pull an epic prank on the BBS without getting banned.

Granted, but one of the users managed to find your address and comes to your house and kicks you in the balls.

I wish I knew why things in the world happen as they do.

Granted, now you know everything about the world, but the knowledge is so depressing that you kill yourself.

I wish my university timetable was less fucked up.

At 9/29/13 09:16 AM, Elitistinen wrote: I wish denial-of-service wasn't so harsh so that I can go home now and do no job...

Granted, you never do any job any more, and everyone hates you.

I wish for a socialist coup in the US.

At 9/29/13 09:51 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/29/13 09:16 AM, Elitistinen wrote: I wish denial-of-service wasn't so harsh so that I can go home now and do no job...

Granted, you never do any job any more, and everyone hates you.

I wish for a socialist coup in the US.

This wish cant be granted its already coming true

I wish everyone in American would remember two numbers 8 trillion and 100 thousand

At 10/15/13 07:56 PM, sweet-n-saltynut wrote:

I wish everyone in American would remember two numbers 8 trillion and 100 thousand

Granted. But we forget all the other numbers so you have to invent math all over again. Don't even try slipping the metric system in.

I wish for a robot made completely of hammers.

I wish for a robot made completely of hammers.

No binding so that shit falls apart.

I wish that a girl I like would like me back.

At 10/15/13 08:03 PM, FlakJaketPro wrote:

I wish that a girl I like would like me back.

Granted. But she hates your front.

I wish for every movie to be a little bit better than it already is.

At 10/15/13 08:28 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/15/13 08:23 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for every movie to be a little bit better than it already is.

Granted, but because you weren't specific as to how movies can be "better", the magic that grants your wish is unsure of how you think movies can be improved and as a result, the magic ends up changing movies into a way that you hate. Guess you should be more specific with your wishes next time.

I wish I had something to eat.

Granted. But it's something bad! Ha! suck on that vengeance you vengeance sucker.

I wish for you have something you enjoy eating. Lots of it. a literal ton of it just delivered to your door.

At 10/15/13 08:34 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/15/13 08:32 PM, stafffighter wrote: Granted. But it's something bad! Ha! suck on that vengeance you vengeance sucker.

I wish for you have something you enjoy eating. Lots of it. a literal ton of it just delivered to your door.

Granted. I eat it and become very happy.

I wish someone could give me something.

Granted, stafffighter gives you AIDS.

I wish for a hot girlfriend.

pls

At 10/15/13 10:28 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish I could read people's minds.

Granted, you peek inside mine and then never stop screaming.

I wish for new episodes of tosh.o every day.

I wish 343 Industries would tell us something else about Halo 5 already.

At 10/15/13 10:37 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 10/15/13 10:28 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish I could read people's minds.

Granted, you peek inside mine and then never stop screaming.

I wish for new episodes of tosh.o every day.

Granted, Pewdiepie is now his co-host.

Missed this post. Whoops.

At 10/15/13 10:57 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote: I wish for a piece of candy.

Granted, but it's incredibly sugar dense and you get diabetes. :(

I wish for the Knicks to win the NBA Championships.

Don't even need to wish for it lets be honest :p

At 10/15/13 11:14 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote:

At 10/15/13 10:59 PM, McJobes wrote:

At 10/15/13 10:57 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote: I wish for a piece of candy.

Granted, but it's incredibly sugar dense and you get diabetes. :(

I wish for the Knicks to win the NBA Championships.

Don't even need to wish for it lets be honest :p

They do.
Nobody expects it and there are mass suicides as a result of lost bets.
Society never recovers.

I wish that 1 + 1 = 2

Granted, since that is already true, you get nothing.

I wish for a bath tub full of cocaine. Not to do it or sell it or anything, just to have it.

At 10/16/13 08:56 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, since that is already true, you get nothing.

I wish for a bath tub full of cocaine. Not to do it or sell it or anything, just to have it.

As if it's an apparition, a bath tub full of cocaine suddenly appears in your room; it's real. Shortly thereafter feds storm the house and sentence you to 20 years for possession.

I wish I could fill a bath tub with spaghetti.

At 10/16/13 09:36 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/16/13 08:56 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, since that is already true, you get nothing.

I wish for a bath tub full of cocaine. Not to do it or sell it or anything, just to have it.

As if it's an apparition, a bath tub full of cocaine suddenly appears in your room; it's real. Shortly thereafter feds storm the house and sentence you to 20 years for possession.

I wish I could fill a bath tub with spaghetti.

Granted, but you don't have a bathtub worth of parmesan cheese so the ratio is whack and you neck yourself.

I wish for sporks to replace all spoons and forks.

At 10/16/13 09:38 AM, McJobes wrote: I wish for sporks to replace all spoons and forks.

Granted, but you can't do shit with them.

I wish for something that is not shit.

At 10/16/13 09:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, but you can't do shit with them.

I wish for something that is not shit.

Granted. You get piss.

I wish that everyone would always smile.

At 10/16/13 10:09 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/16/13 09:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, but you can't do shit with them.

I wish for something that is not shit.

Granted. You get piss.

I wish that everyone would always smile.

Granted, but it's that fake smile that says, "fuck you".

I wish I could fuck myself.

At 10/16/13 10:40 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could fuck myself.

Granted, but you'd get AIDS.

I wish I had lots of cake right now

At 10/16/13 02:49 PM, kanef wrote: i wish this thread was funny

Granted, but you'll die of laughter.

I wish kanef would die soon

At 10/16/13 03:06 PM, ragnkinson wrote:

At 10/16/13 02:49 PM, kanef wrote: i wish this thread was funny

Granted, but you'll die of laughter.

I wish kanef would die soon

I meant wouldn't

At 10/16/13 03:34 PM, Vinnyy wrote:
I wish I could own the skull in my user icon.

Granted, but it's only an ornament.

I wish for more propane and propane accesories.

At 10/16/13 05:37 PM, kanef wrote:

i wish

Granted. Your lack of a wish puts you into a world where there is not definite and no material. Existential void party time.

I wish that it was legal to walk around carrying spears.

At 10/16/13 05:46 PM, Vinnyy wrote:
I wish the skull in my user icon would come alive and talk to me.

Granted. It always wants to talk while you're trying to watch something.

I wish for a nerf gun that fires a billion darts.

At 10/16/13 05:58 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 10/16/13 05:46 PM, Vinnyy wrote:
I wish the skull in my user icon would come alive and talk to me.

Granted. It always wants to talk while you're trying to watch something.

I wish for a nerf gun that fires a billion darts.

Granted, but you don't know how to aim and shoot yourself in the dick.

I wish to steal Vinnyy's skull.

At 10/17/13 08:57 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, but you don't know how to aim and shoot yourself in the dick.

I wish to steal Vinnyy's skull.

You steal Vinnyy's skull, but the body's still attached and once you let go it runs off with yer skull again.

I wish I had a wish.

At 10/17/13 09:12 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/17/13 08:57 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, but you don't know how to aim and shoot yourself in the dick.

I wish to steal Vinnyy's skull.

You steal Vinnyy's skull, but the body's still attached and once you let go it runs off with yer skull again.

I wish I had a wish.

Granted, but you decided not to use it.

I wish for fish.