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I Ousted a Cheater

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Darthdenim
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 02:06:59 Reply

Way to ruin somebody's life, lady.

HipnikDragomir
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 02:17:28 Reply

At 8/9/12 01:48 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Yes, it's all Tarah's fault that this guy was cheating on his wife. And she is the reason their marriage might end/is bad.

Do you realize how ridiculous and stupid you sound??

clearly you weren't ready for marriage either since you think he did nothing wrong.

No, you twat, he means that she revealed to his wife that he's cheating on her. If she didn't, his wife wouldn't have found out and would continue assuming that he doesn't cheat on her and they would be fine and dandy.


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Nail
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 02:32:26 Reply

At 8/9/12 01:48 AM, Sensationalism wrote:
At 8/9/12 01:42 AM, Nail wrote: I was done dirty by my ex-wife. This shit happens, some people just aren't ready for marriage.
Just know that you were the single catalyst for the end of their marriage when otherwise it could have been saved because the guy hadn't technically done anything wrong that we know of. Whether you think it is right or wrong it has already happened, hopefully it was worth it.
Yes, it's all Tarah's fault that this guy was cheating on his wife. And she is the reason their marriage might end/is bad.

Do you realize how ridiculous and stupid you sound??

clearly you weren't ready for marriage either since you think he did nothing wrong.

You have clearly never been married, and if somebody ousts a cheater then more times than often it does ruin the marriage. I'm not saying it's the whistleblower's fault and the marriage wasn't already beyond salvaging, but to believe infidelity doesn't exist in relationships whether each person knows about it or not is absurdly naive.

And I said there's was no evidence of him physically cheating. If you ever plan to get married I'd suggest some attention to detail. It's a big part of communication that keeps a marriage together.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 03:29:26 Reply

I ain't gonna fuck some slut


I like asshats :3

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tarahloveshentai
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 12:58:17 Reply

At 8/9/12 02:28 AM, Bees wrote:

being er "janky"

Fucking lmao, you made my month.

At 8/8/12 07:54 PM, Xenomit wrote:
At 8/8/12 07:48 PM, Travis wrote: I don't see how someone can take a significant other back that cheated on them.
I have

I have too. I was with a guy for 8 years and about to get married to him. I found out he was doing janky shit behind my back with my best friend. He didn't tell me the truth and I had no idea what actually happened so I gave him a second chance.

At 8/8/12 07:55 PM, Painbringer wrote: Not everyone can easily let go of the person they loved for so many years.

I did once I found out everything. 8 years is longer than most people's relationships none the less marriages ever reach.
I had to find out through my best friend the whole truth. If she had never told me I probably would have stayed with him because I had no way of knowing. I had confronted him several times and he never told me the whole truth. It wasn't till after I told him everything I knew, he told the truth.

I rather have someone let me know my significant other is cheating. The only other options is to either hope my significant other tells me or I go through all his shit like emails and texts which I'm not into doing.


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DancingTomato
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 15:51:42 Reply

At 8/9/12 12:58 PM, tarahloveshentai wrote: ...so I gave him a second chance.

And then what happened? Did he cheat again? I mean, did you ever find out about him cheating again?


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 15:54:20 Reply

Well, OP, it really depends on the specific situation. It's difficult to have standard views on relationships and even morals in general, because each situation is always different than the last.

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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:06:33 Reply

im pretty sure most people would rather know the truth than to be lied to and cheated on behind their backs for years

honestly, i understand that bringing the infidelity to light is what a lot of people would consider to be the moral high road. i understand why that is.
but i'm not gonna lie, i'd have to really consider this because not only are liars good at convincing whipped partners that they didn't cheat(dont know how the fuck anyone believes them), but i would feel like i'm meddling even though i know it would probably leave her better off in the end

Lucy
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:23:01 Reply

If I knew someone was cheating, I would give them the ultimatum of telling their partner before I do it for them. I have personal experience of being cheated on and the fact that all my friends knew the entire time it was happening, and never bothered to tell me was one of the most hurtful things I have ever had to deal with. Hurray for people who actually know how to act.


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tarahloveshentai
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:23:03 Reply

At 8/9/12 03:51 PM, DancingTomato wrote: And then what happened? Did he cheat again? I mean, did you ever find out about him cheating again?

Well, the only reason I gave him a second chance was because he lied to me about everything and I believed it.

But yes, he did end up cheating on me again with some female after he joined the Navy. He didn't tell me about her till he told me about everything after I confronted him with everything my "best friend" had told me.

That's when I broke up with him for good.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:25:51 Reply

At 8/9/12 04:23 PM, tarahloveshentai wrote: That's when I broke up with him for good.

Gotta have a zero-tolerance policy with that shit


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:31:47 Reply

At 8/8/12 06:52 AM, tarahloveshentai wrote: But what I've noticed is, alot of people feel it's wrong to oust a cheater and you're suppose to just ignore it. But I have tons of disdain for cheaters.

I don't just hate cheaters, I loathe them. I may forgive them eventually, but there's no good excuse for cheating on a significant other.

If you were cheated on, would you want someone to tell you? Or rather not know unless your significant other told you?

I have been cheated on, multiple times. I'm not sure which way I'd prefer honestly -- if they came to me themselves and told me, which is the only way I've experienced -- it shows in a way how brave they are. They more likely than not feel guilt, and want to take it back, and want forgiveness. It's still wrong, but it's a small step in the right direction, I think.

Am I a total cunt for letting his wife know what janky shit he'd been doing?

No, you're not. If anyone tells you otherwise, ignore them. You did what was right. That's what's important.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 16:32:46 Reply

At 8/8/12 06:52 AM, tarahloveshentai wrote: Am I a total cunt for letting his wife know what janky shit he'd been doing?

uh yeah your a cunt.

bros before Hoes.

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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 19:28:14 Reply

I would have contacted the wife directly. You are absolutely right that she should know, but publicly announcing his infidelity subjects her to embarrassment. If you tell her directly, she can deal with it however she chooses.

MiloBased
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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 19:32:52 Reply

Ugh. I hate how women's vaginas link up and they feel the need to tell eachother whats going with their spouse.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:15:07 Reply

At 8/9/12 01:42 AM, Nail wrote: Just know that you were the single catalyst for the end of their marriage when otherwise it could have been saved because the guy hadn't technically done anything wrong that we know of.

Someone being oblivious to their partner's behavior doesn't mean that they're not affected by it. The person is cheating for a reason. As a general rule, people in happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships don't cheat. It's when things start to go downhill and the person starts to lose their emotional attachment or at least their loyalty to their partner that they start getting involved with other people. At that point, the relationship is so broken that it would take a lot to fix it, and it would likely end whether someone told the person or not. The benefit of telling is that the person doesn't waste potentially years of their life on someone who doesn't love them enough or who is untrustworthy.

At 8/9/12 07:31 PM, Xenomit wrote: I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that even though what he did was shitty, it doesn't give people permission to get in his business like that

I don't agree with the idea that you can only intervene in something immoral if it's considered your business. You should stand up for what you think is right whether you were previously involved or not.

Though, that's pretty much a moot point in this instance since Tarah was previously involved, thus making it her business.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:26:29 Reply

At 8/9/12 09:19 PM, Xenomit wrote: Standing up for whatever you believe in =/= Intervening in someone els' marriage
It doesn't matter if he cheated or not, now matter how much he went against his vows, it's still a holy sacrimony, and someone els' divine bond, you just don't mess with it

In a relationship where someone is cheating, they no longer have that kind of a bond. At that point, their relationship is unhealthy and their marriage is just a legal status.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:32:16 Reply

At 8/9/12 09:28 PM, Xenomit wrote: It'd be different if the two were just dating, but the fact that they were married kinda makes it a really bad thing to do

I was talking about both parties. It would have been not as bad if he cheated and they were dating, and it wouldn't have been as bad if she told on him and they were dating. And vice versa

All you need to do to get married is have a ceremony and sign a paper. There is nothing about the state of being married that makes it any different than being in a serious relationship without it. They likely loved each other when they first got married, but obviously things have changed, and that change is significant enough to make Tarah's actions justified.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:34:31 Reply

Sorry for the double post. Posting times and all that.

At 8/9/12 09:30 PM, Xenomit wrote: As I've said before, that doesn't make it ok to intervene like that

Your argument was that you shouldn't intervene because marriage is significant. I argued why I think marriage isn't significant in that situation. So either we need to agree to disagree or you need a new argument.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:42:35 Reply

At 8/9/12 09:36 PM, Xenomit wrote: It's an unjustifiable act

Imagine if you had a family member who was deathly ill. He/she was asleep from exhaustion and medication most of the time, but could still think for his/her self. He/she still had a chance to live, but it was slim

Would you decide to have the doctor pull the plug on them?

These two situations are nothing alike, particularly in (but not limited to) the most important area that your family member isn't doing anything immoral to warrant that action.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 21:59:29 Reply

At 8/9/12 09:51 PM, Xenomit wrote: The point of it is identical though, you're making a very very important decision for someone els

No it's not. It's also a strawman argument. My point isn't that it's always okay to make decisions for someone. My point is that usually it isn't okay, but it is when the person is doing something immoral. That is, the fact that the action is immoral negates the person's right to freedom of choice because they are infringing on someone else's freedoms and rights.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 22:10:10 Reply

At 8/9/12 10:01 PM, Xenomit wrote: The only time it's ok to make a decision for someone is if their breaking a basic rule of human rights, like take a life
How are they infringing on anyones rights

No, I suppose they're not infringing on our constitutional human rights in the same way that a murderer does. That's why I'm saying that cheaters should be arrested by the government. But I believe in there being rights within a relationship that shouldn't be violated, such as the right to truth and respect.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 22:11:10 Reply

At 8/9/12 10:10 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: That's why I'm saying that cheaters should be arrested by the government.

Why I'm not* saying. Oops.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-09 22:23:45 Reply

Figured this would attract a few trolls who's obviously never been cheated on or are cheaters themselves
You did fine. It would of been someone else eventually that would have ratted out on him anyway. It was bound to happen soon enough. I don't get why people are blaming you for the situation.....


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 00:52:17 Reply

So you let some weirdo on the internet pester you constantly, stalked him to find out all of his personal info, and decided to inject yourself into his personal life? That seems just as shitty in my opinion.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 04:33:54 Reply

At 8/8/12 06:52 AM, tarahloveshentai wrote: But what I've noticed is, alot of people feel it's wrong to oust a cheater and you're suppose to just ignore it. But I have tons of disdain for cheaters.

They are idiots. Good job. And we share the same disdain

If you were cheated on, would you want someone to tell you? Or rather not know unless your significant other told you?

Of course I'd like to know.

Am I a total cunt for letting his wife know what janky shit he'd been doing?

no

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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 04:57:52 Reply

At 8/10/12 04:47 AM, Xenomit wrote:
Deciding for herself...

About deciding for others...

She WASN'T deciding for others. It became her business too once he tried to sleep with her/tried to exchange nudes and then hound her down on facebook. She doesn't have to keep her mouth shut for him. That isn't how life works. I'm sure cheaters wish it did but he knew what he was going into, the risk he was taking in being married and trying to sleep with other girls.

Tarah was not sticking her nose where it didn't belong, she was INVOLVED and she could (and did) pass that information onto his wife which she is within her rights to do so.

Why are you failing to understand this?


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 05:15:18 Reply

I don't normally agree with people snitching on each other, but this was the right thing to do. Might as well warn her now rather than let her waste her time with a man who doesn't love her.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 05:20:03 Reply

At 8/10/12 05:12 AM, Xenomit wrote:
I'm not failing to understand why she told him about him hitting on her, but it still wasn't up to her to tell him about the other gal

Just because someone does something wrong to you, and does something similar to another person, doesn't mean you tell a 3rd party (his wife) both incidents

I get it. You don't understand relationships work. Problem solved.


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Response to I Ousted a Cheater 2012-08-10 05:23:42 Reply

At 8/10/12 05:12 AM, Xenomit wrote: I'm not failing to understand why she told him about him hitting on her, but it still wasn't up to her to tell him about the other gal

Just because someone does something wrong to you, and does something similar to another person, doesn't mean you tell a 3rd party (his wife) both incidents

Look at this:
Some guy beats you up. Then he beats another guy up while you're watching. Does that mean you shouldn't tell the cops about both incidents? No. You should tell them about both incidents.

Same can be applied in this story.

If he hit on her, and she knew that he had been doing the same thing to other girls, then there's nothing wrong about telling the wife about all the incidents. TBH it's the right thing to do.


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