For their ability to crack you up, to make you spill your drink, choke on your microwaved meal, to actually have you use ‘lol’ properly, the following users are this year’s nominees for Funniest User:
Earfetish
Grandfather-Clock
-poxpower-
Tremour
-wwwyzzerdd-
Like a twitching junkie going through withdrawal in some filthy alleyway, these users crave the hottest and most available e-drug out there: attention. From suicide hoaxes to internet grudges and indignant bitching, the nominees for 2005's Attention Whore will stop at nothing to get you to look their way:
-Frank-
fukmehardNpullmyhair
GeorgeTopouria (deleted)
-Shadow_XII-
Ozcar
The BBS is great and all... but you really don’t have to make it such a big deal. Seriously, you find less drama in a fifteen year old girl growing up in Beverly Hills than you do in this year’s nominees for Drama Queen:
-Dawkins-
FBIpolux
fukmehardNpullmyhair
-Shadow_XII-
WadeFulp
Go outside, fly a kite, chug a pint, fuck a tree, I don’t care, just get off the BBS for once! Okay, so you turn off the computer every now and then to it doesn’t get all screwed up from being on all the time- that doesn’t count. Ah, I’m just messing with you. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, here are your nominees for 2005's Never Logs Off Award:
Afro_Stud
Maus
Ozcar
-wwwyzzerdd-
ZeroAsALimit
As time goes on, we get to know and love certain members of these boards. And when they leave (which is a relative term =P), our hearts often go with them. This year four mods and a user with a gender confusion topped the list of nominations for I Miss Yew!:
bigbadron
D0GMA
DanMalo
olskoo
ZeroAsALimit
You have to wonder how many of the following users’ fans have an intelligent quota above freezing temperature... or maybe the ass-kissers and suck ups and glorifiers are just a tribute to these users’ mastery of shameless self promotion. Or just bad luck. In any case, here are the nominees for 2005's Most Overrated User:
Bedn (Illict_Jmbd)
Earfetish
-Frank-
Ozcar
WadeFulp
And on the other side of the spectrum, these users go about their BBS day posting, helping, being hilarious, being sexy... and no one seems to notice. Except... for the people who nominated them multiple times. Hum. Well, these are the nominees for the Most [noticeable...] Underrated User:
-absentminded-
Afro_Stud
GreenLantern
Mast3rMind
Noir_
Bsdfljyw3 dkuigg9 ehjg2upenis sases497w !!1111tte ahkwSp ssd eyww4jba yygzsissklkki czcsR4 LOALOLAla kpenis mmmmmmm sdkjs 737 dyfywfww ufowm4t8fk k dkrmn w ssdvsu8 v8 ser:
BonusStage
Chrome-
Grandfather-Clock
j00bie
Ozcar
What with the good here, we have to take in the bad too. A lot of the bad. Not unlike a full outhouse forgotten for years in a humid jungle, amongst even the shittiest shit there’s a bottom layer that could rot your skin if you came within 200 meters of it. This’s year bottom layer (nominees) for 2005's Worst Poster are:
F-8-L-E-T
fukmehardNpullmyhair
Kaabi
SGTPVTCPT
Thorfalcon
Someone’s gotta do the dirty work around here. You figure cleaning the outhouses of the BBS would be a high paying job (guaranteed stress, hazardous conditions, daily exposure to whiny IMs), but no, these honourable souls are strictly volunteer workers. Amongst our quirky crew of internet sooper troopers, this year five of them stood out. Proudly, I present 2005's nominees for Best Mod:
Denvish
Evark
Maus
Newgrundling
Sanjay
Conversely, we have those mods that seem to just grind our nerves. Perhaps they’re a bit itchy when it comes to their ban finger, perhaps they just don’t meet some invisible “entertainment” quota that’s established by the community (or they surpass an annoyance quota). Whatever reasons, just or unjust, you hold against them; here are the nominees for 2005's Worst Mod:
Evark
JusticeOfSarcasm
Maus
Ozcar
Sarai
Noob supposedly refers to idiotic and unlikeable behaviour. In actuality, the term is a loose as the word ‘interesting’ or ‘cool’. This is more of a Rookie of the Year based award: appointed to someone who graced these boards within the last year and has made a positive and lasting impression on the community. And up for 2005's Best Noob are:
Britkid
Nomander
Noob-AntiChrist
protege-moi
Sarai
Topics come in a wide range of flavours. Unfortunately, a lot of them are stale, taste like ass or induce vomiting within seconds. An award is the least we can do for those who take the time and effort and put the imagination into creating a topic that makes you smile. This year’s line up for Best Topic Starter are quite worthy:
Earfetish
-Gooch-
Mast3rMind
Mick_The_Champion
-poxpower-
In this circus-like sausagefest, each year there can only be one cock of the walk. In this river of testosterone, users clash like post ejaculate sperm for e-popularity, e-respect, e-whathaveyou. Some go about their way quietly, others are out there, loud and proud, flexing their 11 inch biceps. The ‘f’, ‘a’ and ‘p’ keys worn down to the quick, these guys dominate the foreground of the conglomerate of yammering nerdfolk that make this place what it is. For valour in the face of spam, for balancing the tedium of snotty thirteen year olds, and for endurance on innumerable solo love scenes, here are the NG BBS nominees for BEST MALE USER!
BadReligionSkater
Earfetish
Denvish
GreenLantern
-Gooch-
Contrary to popular belief, having a vagina does not inhibit your ability to contribute to an online forum. Constantly fighting a battle of bias and sexism (whether it’s good natured or not), the women of the BBS are a vital part of the little social circle we’ve created here. Often putting forth opinions with a female perspective, opening the doors for tons of good humour, and even being somewhat of a relief from the standard demographic, the ladies are often and unfairly shoved into the background when it comes to that recognition thing. Hence, this award. Amongst the wonderful gals that have taken time out of their lives to enhance our experience here (and/or fuel our fantasies) you’ve chosen five above and beyonders. Without further ado, I present 2005's nominees for BEST FEMALE USER!
Mary
Maus
protege-moi
ramagi
Sarai
Now vote, you pills. <3
