Looking forward to this LP, Shimmzy.
Track 17 from my upcoming Avatar Caine LP.
Thoughts?
Lyrics: (not yet recorded...)
I came into this world precisely three months before my projected birth
Family life takes a lot of my will, but not much of my girth;
My mom’s got a man who doesn't want to understand her skill;
Earth's at a standstill, everyone sits and shits while man shoots and kills;
Some take pills, others poke themselves with quills;
My writings take understanding will and power;
After a clean shower I flower while I glower at your steep inclinations;
Don't want an invitation to your divine inspiration;
No divinity I see, just my two eyes with which I seek;
I concede that planting seeds help me breathe while bass shakes the ground;
I've shaped these found sounds like a snake biting clowns;
Please refrain from prying open my brain and stealing my style;
It's taken me an extremely long while to perfect this smile;
All these other MC's wish they could defeat me;
I put their heads in a vice, tighten it, and then squeeze;
They heighten their vocabulary by listening to me;
Don't whip on this gifted beef of a beat or I'll have to call the police;
You freaks better believe I have ‘em all between my knees;
I keep my penis inside my jeans tucked beneath my nuts;
Ya'll can't stomach this bliss, believe it or not I eat my own snot;
At least keep all this muck just between us, OK please?;
Tell anyone, and you'll be arrested for indecency;
I switched teams cause I'm crafty, just kidding, I'm simply nasty;
Try and hand your mastery over by granting your slant rhyme support;
I have a seven leaf clover and I’m crafting a report
for your crimes against attacking my fort;
Hook:
Cuttin through your flesh
Hungry for the best
I curse the souls of many men
SAMPLES:
Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto (piano. sax)
Bill Evans (bass)
Choclair (hook line)
The Whooliganz (hook line)
The 1975 (hook lyric)
Von Poe VII (hook line)
Image: A physiological demonstration with the vivisection of a dog, 1832, an oil painting by Emile-Edouard Mouchy, 1832.
https://wellcomelibrary.org/item/b12023917#?c=0&m=0&s=0&cv=0
Looking forward to this LP, Shimmzy.
Beat production is dope, no surprise there. Lyrics; on point, loving the introspective narrative, with some f-u attitude. Rhymes is good. I would recommend looking at a couple bars here and there to help build more schemes and patterns into the verse.At points it reads as if there are forced consecutive rhymes in some lines. For example:
My mom’s got a man who doesn't want to understand her skill;
Earth's at a standstill, everyone sits and shits while man shoots and kills;
Some take pills, others poke themselves with quills;
My writings take understanding will and power;
After a clean shower I flower while I glower at your steep inclinations;
Don't want an invitation to your divine inspiration;
- edit-
Mom's got a man, (shit!) doesn't understand her skill
She's at a stand-still. So we sit while the man shoots to kill
Take some pills, or poke yourself with the quill
I write to understand this, it takes power and will
As I shower my flower, I see your steep inclinations
I'm not wow'd by the tower, you can keep the invitation
-
Anyway, thats my 2 cents and a loonie. Solid concept, can't wait to hear when Avatar Caine is ready to drop!
Thanks for the pointers Mick!
I'll see how your edit flows out loud and contemplate whether to change it or not. Likely will, but it remains to be seen.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.
* Contains third-party samples.
Excercise caution when using it, refer to author comments / contact the author for details.