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Asunder (Updated Feb 2019)

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EDIT: After rushing to finish this song initially, I've had to listen to it a few times and, as some have pointed out below, it wasn't really finished. There were imperfections in the mix/editing so I went back and adjusted all the small details that were bugging me and them. Here you go - the final version is now available.
Let me know what you think.
List of changes:
Edited out any noticable room echo from the bad recording location.
Adjusting some timing.
Adjusted some volume.
Turned the whole thing down 1/2 a db to relax the limiter a bit (was too loud anyway).
Fixed 1 small part where I was off-pitch leading into a loud note (un-trained singer ftw)
Probably forgot a few...

Feel my rage. Understand my despair. I stand idly by, watching the world fall, torn asunder by petty politicians and idiots who forget where they have come from.

This song is born from my rage that has been boiling over for two years now, I cannot bear to imagine the UK leaving the EU. It rips me apart. So, feel my anger. Feel my despair.

Lyrics:
Verse 1
Well within reason or so I have to believe
This dichotomy separates you from me
The verdict is given and so the story goes
slowly climbing up the steps to the gallows

Chorus
Give up your burden just two steps from paradise
Preach your message atop the graves of human sacrifice
Ideals born from reasons that reflect our misery
The past forgotten a distant memory

Verse 2
Will we grow old will we live in harmony?
Such a fickle thing, disappears in half a century.
How can you be so callous, how can you be so cold?
Targets painted (red), lock and load.

Chorus x2

Recorded using my LTD F400, Line 6 Podfarm and UX2 combo, NT1-A microphone with REAPER as my DAW.
Native Instruments - all effects except a few reverbs, some synths, drums.
Izotope - Mixing and mastering plugins.
EWQL - some reverbs, pianos

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huh... one of the unusual metal songs on NG that would be real song :P
I like this pretty much and I going to download it ^-^
The vocals and the guitar solo is pretty nice too :P
I think you need to upload this on YouTube :D
May people will like it :P
And merry Christmas to you too :)
Or... a merry Xmas ^3^ \m/

MetalRenard responds:

Thanks for the kind comment, sorry for the late reply!
If you're still interested, I just updated it fixing a few issues. Please feel free to download the most recent version.

Cheers!

Pretty neat song you have here. Keep up the awesome. :)

MetalRenard responds:

Hey thanks!

I tried really hard to find something wrong in the mixing of this track. I shoulnd't have tried.

I especially like how you decided to put emphasis on the vocals using distorsion (or maybe a saturated backing track ?) in the chorus, as it really adds to the power you wanted to convey.
There's just a minor detail that bugs me, that can be heard in the choruses, for example at 2:43. It can be heard every time you say "Ideals born from reasons", at the end of the sentence. I hear some kind of noise there that reminds me of someone knocking an acoustic guitar or something like that (I know, weird comparison), I'm unsure of what it is, maybe the compression that brings in front of the mix the end of the word, or a noise in the background ? I think I wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't repeating each time in the chorus, but it's maybe just... you know, me being myself and seeing problems when there is none. xD
Well, maybe there's actually a little bit too much compression at times, but this is coming from someone who just spent two weeks mixing orchestral stuff with instruments that needed a lot of room to breathe - so I'm most probably just biased on that point.

In terms of composition, I thought, at first, that there wasn't a lot of originality (maybe because of the first chords of the chorus ?) although the track is still very efficient, but the magic is actually more in the details. The sound design/instrumentation on the melody that starts at 0:28, the last seconds of the chorus, the small risks you decided to take in the solo section of the track, it actually all adds up to create something that sounds familiar, yet has its own identity.
In terms of pace and structure, I believe you wanted to create a contrast between anger (chorus) and despair (verses), but the guitar of the chorus tends, in my opinion, to evoke determination more than anger, and the power of the vocals in what I'd call the "despair" section constrasts with this interpretation as well, so I'm not sure I got your intention right on this part - but once again, this is coming from someone used to work with different styles of music, with a different problematic. :p

MetalRenard responds:

Hey! Sorry for taking forever to reply to this. Moving around Japan and all that...
Plus I took some time to come to terms with this song, myself.

I knew, when making it, that it was somewhat generic - I had one week left before moving which meant I wouldn't have my guitar or microphone any more. I was desperate to sing. I really wanted to push past my previous limitations too and was really proud when I managed to hit my highest note ever in this track (end of the chorus). With that in mind, I definitely made sacrifices when it comes to originality.

As for the mixing - I was singing in a large, empty, badly sound treated classroom at the school I worked at. And I sing -really- loud. The echo was quite bad despite my efforts to deal with it while recording and in post because of how loud I am. The issues you're hearing are due to the echo. I could have spent more time fixing it but like I said... 1 week time limits suck for a song this complicated.

I see what you mean about the mixed impressions the song gives compared to my intentions. I feel most of my music comes off happier that it's supposed to anyway, it's just how I am, always optimistic.

I worked hard on that guitar solo... I wanted to do something unusual and I liked the synthetic sound I used in a previous track's solo (Infinite Cosmos) so I went for that little more here.

I'm glad you were honest enough to give me feedback and kind enough to say what you liked. I've missed working on music with you, sorry we lost touch over the past few years.

Cheers!

Edited - Thanks for the feedback! Merci beaucoup!

Credits & Info

MetalRenard
Author

Listens
274
Faves:
3
Downloads
13
Votes
10
Score
4.56 / 5.00

Uploaded
Jul 11, 2018
3:05 PM EDT
Genre
Heavy Metal
File Info
Song
9.6 MB
4 min 12 sec
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Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.