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So I Don't Lose My Head

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Author Comments

I was going through my iTouch, and I found this voice memo from way back in April. Suddenly, I was reminded of a Saturday night where I had hit rock bottom completely and totally.

What you hear is me on my back in my room with a guitar -- lights off, eyes closed, fumbling for chords, and for my voice. I sound thin. I sound strained. My throat is dry. It's raw.

It's real.

Maybe that's why I'm uploading it to newgrounds. No fancy EQing here. Artists talk about being open and honest in their music -- well, here I am. This is me, unhinged and vulnerable.

Eh. No, it isn't pretty. This is 'Hate Me' by Blue October sung by a girl who (on that night) really believed the lyrics. Morning came and with it a sense of realism -- which is why I think I forgot about how I felt then, and even why I forgot about the memo completely. :)

It starts alright; then I start to miss chords. Falls apart a bit in the end.

I'm curious to see what the reactions will be.


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This is completely human, and therefore, good

I gave you a ten. Mainly because I can't count the number of times I've been down and out, sometimes absolutely destroyed, and reached for my guitar as a way to express myself, because sadly I don't believe in crying, I cry through my music. But, with the end of every surreal night, there is a reaffirmation of life in the morning, and I go on. eh.

Sorry but

Newgrounds Audio is all about Techno and pounding beats. Well, mostly

that voice

give you a 10 for that lovely voice ^^

In short, this is where art begins.

I've lost count on how many files I have of me stumbling home and playing my heart out in desperation, late at night in a dark room. Without any apprehension or doubt, playing for as long as I could possibly play.

I know exactly where you're coming from. Which is why I had to stop and comment this late haha. But either way I really like what you've done here, and only a self-righteous bastard would ask for anything more.

SatoDraygonFist2 responds:

I gave a thumbs-up to your comment at my computer screen. You can't see it, and I've lowered my hands by now, but I'm just saying.

You're very talented! =)

How old were you when you sung that? It's very good!

SatoDraygonFist2 responds:

Oh -- it was just this past April. I'm eighteen, but was seventeen then if it matters.

Credits & Info

4.80 / 5.00

Jul 25, 2010
2:41 AM EDT
File Info
2.9 MB
4 min 12 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.