Impressive..
Most people make a comparison with this and SMBZ, but I can clearly see this is a VERY different story coming into place.
Luigi's lines while they were at the mountain were EXTRA hard to read, might want to fix that. You also made cut scenes a little too long, like Mecha Sonic (Super Form) just floating there with white light around him. Overall, VERY good story, but as I've said with the Mecha Sonic part, your fight and some certain cut scenes were too long staying in one position.
In my opinion, no offense, but this looks like it could be a sequel of SMBZ it's self, with a re-built Mobius and revived (by 1-Ups or something) people! Very impressive! Definetly not a rip-off of SMBZ!