I liked it
Sounded origanal, and that's one of the main things i look for.
Meets its name pretty well, too, but I myself expand "Midnight" to the idea of "midnight at a subway station in 2065"... if you kinda hear and get what I'm talking about.
In your list of things to fix, I agree on most (fixing these would probably boost your over all score) except on the length, which is just fine to me.
You also said that the crashes are unnecessary. Maybe... but is that a reason to remove them? To me it was a pretty clean transition.
Well, I'm out of stuff,
BC (boycartoonist)