I think it's due time I joined, although I have made an alt just for the very sake of this. I haven't come out to anybody and daren't, ever, because I'm still in that stage of uncertainty. I'll be most blunt with you, the following may be NSFW. I've masturbated to gay porn, I've had sexual urges and desires towards other guys my age, I've lusted after other guys and almost had obsessive like behavioural patterns when concerning them, even down to following them into toilets to try and get a glimpse of their dicks.
Where it becomes clear is when I feel like I could make it and slip through the net, I could have a family and live a "normal" life but I know it will not work out anything close to being like that. A lot of the negativitiy in my life comes from this, although I don't see it as hiding a big secret, it's more as a demon I have to control and I fear if I let it out my life will fall into ruin and everything will crumble.