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At 7/5/10 05:43 PM, Scarface wrote: I'm mainly worried about friends. All of my friends, even the ones who are open-minded towards homosexuality, think bisexuality is weird. None of them know yet, and I'm afraid to tell them. I know that if they're really my friends, they'll accept me, but I don't want to risk losing them.

There will ALWAYS be that risk. Some people will tell you and comfort you "it's fine, I'm sure everyone will accept you", chances are it wouldn't be everyone who will be accepting. You will most likely get one person who will at least lose respect for you, partially due to stereotypes. I had a bad time coming out to someone who I thought would accept it, but it ended up with me and her breaking up and about a year of just generally feeling crap, as though I did something wrong. The only thing you can do is take a leap of faith and hope it works out.

Also, my parents. They know that I'm confused right know, and they support me, but I can see that even though they still love me, deep down they don't want me to be gay. I was raised Catholic, so I find it very hard to accept my own sexuality. I don't see anything wrong with it, but my surrounding peers make me feel like it's not normal, and that being gay will earn me a place in hell. I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, and hide my sexuality, but I don't want to just drop my beliefs because I'm gay. I'm too afraid. I keep wondering if maybe all my Christian friends are right.

The only thing I can think of is actually explaining to them that being gay or bisexual isn't the sin, nor is loving someone of the same sex. It's only when you sexually get involved with someone of the same sex, it's classed as a "major sin" (something that is very bad, like blasphemy and even murder) as opposed to a "minor sin" (like just eating too much or drinking too much). Which even then, if you ask for forgiveness then everything is fine. It's personally a horrible system to run by and for a religion that encourages love, it breeds hatred.

It's because of this contradiction, I can't help but think that there may be a God, but it got lost in translation. That the message was broad-casted and then altered to shape the will of men. Such as the homophobic rules in the bible may just be propaganda via folk-devils of the Greeks by the Romans. After all, there is no logical reason why a god would hate people of a certain group who display love in a different way to the majority which that love comes to them naturally and they can not alter. It's like saying no blacks may go into heaven because their skin does not reflect the colour of clouds in the kingdom of Heaven.

I'm just sorry that things are the way they are and you will very likely have to deal with homophobia upon coming out the closet. However, if you do find love in another man, it may be best you do come out.

Shit went down at Helsinki Pride

I don't know if I have some secret desire to give myself ulcers, but I've been following the discussion around the attack, and what do you know,, every newspaper comment section and blog on the subject, it takes a few comments for the discussion to be derailed to "gays are unnatural" "there's no straight pride parades" "why were there children present, gays are pedophiles".

I feel like hurting someone. Preferably one of the fuckers who did the attack, seen briefly here.

At 7/6/10 02:23 AM, HungarianSupermarket wrote: That's why I usually just introduce myself as gay, or just don't bring up my sexuality. Not for any shame on my behalf; I accept and am proud of my sexuality, I just find it a lot easier that way and I don't really care if someone thinks I am gay even though strictly speaking, I am not.

Try and find someone you can trust to talk to about it, and perhaps just hold back on worrying about 'coming out' until you know for certain? Hope that helped at all.

At 7/6/10 07:50 AM, Lost-Chances wrote:

I'm just sorry that things are the way they are and you will very likely have to deal with homophobia upon coming out the closet. However, if you do find love in another man, it may be best you do come out.

Thank you both for your advice. So, basically, be careful about who I come out to, be ready for homophobia, and only come out when I'm certain I'm really gay, bi, or straight, and that I am in love with another man or woman? Okay. Well, thank you both for all of your helpful advice.

At 7/6/10 12:15 PM, Scarface wrote: Thank you both for your advice. So, basically, be careful about who I come out to, be ready for homophobia, and only come out when I'm certain I'm really gay, bi, or straight, and that I am in love with another man or woman? Okay. Well, thank you both for all of your helpful advice.

Well, yes and no. Be ready for homophobia. Only come out if you're gay or bisexual since there is a loaded assumption you're straight. Only come out if you're in love with another man since you're male yourself. Only come out to your partner if you think it'll affect who you are and it may be best to do it when you're a little older.

Also, no problem about the advise. I try to help. I ended up experiencing my share of "joyful" homophobia when I came out to one person offline.

I'm gay, sign me up :3

At 7/6/10 01:17 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I ended up experiencing my share of "joyful" homophobia when I came out to one person offline.

What happened?

So I was lurking The Escapist forum (my little hole for me to lurk in when I'm not in the mood for NG) when I found out that apparently Lady Gaga did a photoshoot cross-dressing. My initial response was "god damn it, Richey Edwards is at it again!". The next reaction after seeing the pictures was surprise at how good of a man she looks.

However, I think behaviour like this makes me wonder about the ethical dilemma of pretending to be of a particular sexuality you're not. It's not really like actors (which is used to convey a story, even if it ends up using sexuality as a punchline) or pornography (whatever gets people off), but rather just playing to the crowd's curiosity (namely, the age old debate if she has a penis or not) for attention. Is this right? It's basically on the same level as 13 year old girls who make out for attention but are actually very straight ("OH YES, I'M BISEXUAL, UNTIL THE IDEA OF SEX WITH A WOMAN COMES UP! THEN I'M STRAIGHT!").

Thoughts? Also, I could only use the Escapist topic because there isn't an actual news or reliable source yet since the photos haven't been officially released yet.

Gaga is a bi, on a side note. I am also a Gaga fan, if not for her music, for her epic troll personality.

I've seen the photos. Gaga is still pretty pbviously female, but she does look a bit James Dean-esque. As for straight actors palying gay roles... I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it. It depends on the actor and the role, really. And if you're talking about something like The L Word, where you need an ensemble cast of muffdivers, there's a limit as to how many actual lesbian actors that fit the characters you can get.

At 7/8/10 11:00 AM, Lost-Chances wrote: However, I think behaviour like this makes me wonder about the ethical dilemma of pretending to be of a particular sexuality you're not.

The only thing that bothers me about Lady Gaga is that she assumes every gay person in the world is obsessed with her and she decided to make a video about it.

With that said, I do enjoy dancing to her music, but not to the extent that i want it on my ipod to listen to whenever.

At 7/8/10 09:19 PM, HungarianSupermarket wrote:

At 7/8/10 11:00 AM, Lost-Chances wrote: However, I think behaviour like this makes me wonder about the ethical dilemma of pretending to be of a particular sexuality you're not.

The only thing that bothers me about Lady Gaga is that she assumes every gay person in the world is obsessed with her and she decided to make a video about it.

With that said, I do enjoy dancing to her music, but not to the extent that i want it on my ipod to listen to whenever.

Poker Face is the only song of hers that I would even consider putting on my ipod. I'm not saying she's a bad musician, because she's actually pretty talented. However, I will say that she is terribly overrated.

"Just Dance" is her best, Pokerface close second. Alejandro sounds too much like 90's Madonna. Seriously, it's just "La Isla Bonita" 2.0

What is it with gay icons and their ineptitude with latin themes? Alejandro, La Isla Bonita, Don't Cry For Me Argentina, Fernando (by ABBA)? All those songs sound so same-y.

Wow, she is amazingly sexy as a man.

At 7/7/10 02:09 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 7/6/10 01:17 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I ended up experiencing my share of "joyful" homophobia when I came out to one person offline.

What happened?

Do you not want to talk about it?

Because I like pimping out this piece of propaganda I made:

At 7/11/10 12:32 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 7/7/10 02:09 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 7/6/10 01:17 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I ended up experiencing my share of "joyful" homophobia when I came out to one person offline.

What happened?

Do you not want to talk about it?

I've talked about it A LOT. I figured someone may of spoken up by now. Anyway, got dumped by ex girlfriend because I'm bisexual. That's the short version.

At 7/11/10 04:21 PM, Lost-Chances wrote:

At 7/11/10 12:32 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 7/7/10 02:09 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 7/6/10 01:17 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I ended up experiencing my share of "joyful" homophobia when I came out to one person offline.

What happened?

Do you not want to talk about it?

I've talked about it A LOT. I figured someone may of spoken up by now. Anyway, got dumped by ex girlfriend because I'm bisexual. That's the short version.

Oh, sorry for bringing that up, and I'm sorry that your ex-girlfriend was too closed-minded to accept you for such a small difference.

At 7/12/10 08:23 AM, Scarface wrote: Oh, sorry for bringing that up, and I'm sorry that your ex-girlfriend was too closed-minded to accept you for such a small difference.

There's no need to be sorry for anything at all. I did hint at it quite a bit and my ex-girlfriend, eh, bound to happen to someone.

You're better off being with someone who isn't a crazy intolerant person, L-C. How are things going in that department?

At 7/12/10 10:17 PM, Sensationalism wrote: You're better off being with someone who isn't a crazy intolerant person, L-C. How are things going in that department?

It's hard to judge really. The only thing that's certain is that I really hope the other guy she's into gets a stroke, or dies and goes to hell. For some religious idiot, he never did read about pride: one of the seven deadly sins.

At 7/12/10 10:40 PM, SeanJoystick wrote: I think homosexuality is a choice

Lol.

I was hoping someone could answer this for me:

according to my mother, it will be hard for me to date a woman, because most women dont want to be with a bisexual,(such as myself). her reasoning for this, is that women want a man who's a man, so i guess being bi doesn't qualify me, '_____'

she also says that dating a woman wouldnt work, because i'd have certain "needs" that a woman couldnt fulfill. i honestly think that she's wrong, but i want to hear it from someone else. Are women really turned off if a guy is bi? and does that stop them from dating them?

At 7/13/10 08:04 AM, HappyMango wrote: I was hoping someone could answer this for me:

according to my mother, it will be hard for me to date a woman, because most women dont want to be with a bisexual,(such as myself). her reasoning for this, is that women want a man who's a man, so i guess being bi doesn't qualify me, '_____'

No offense intended, but your mother sounds like a horribly ignorant person. What on earth makes a bisexual less of a man?
With that said, it would be stupid not to expect homophobia at some point in your life, as Lost-Chances unfortunately mentioned before. But the majority of girls aren't bothered by it, and the ones that are honestly aren't worth the time.

she also says that dating a woman wouldnt work, because i'd have certain "needs" that a woman couldnt fulfill. i honestly think that she's wrong, but i want to hear it from someone else. Are women really turned off if a guy is bi? and does that stop them from dating them?

What on earth would your mother know about your needs? If you are happy in a relationship with someone, then that is the only peson you want to be having sex with. And if you don't feel the need for a relationship, there is nothing wrong with that either. You are still young. For want of a better term, just experiment and get to know what you like, and don't worry about what your mother thinks you may like because it really shouldn't concern her.

thanks, i really need someone to tell me that. and no offense taken. she says some pretty stupid things sometimes.

At 7/13/10 08:16 AM, HappyMango wrote: thanks, i really need someone to tell me that. and no offense taken. she says some pretty stupid things sometimes.

I agree completely with Hungarian, you're just like every other man. Physically, you're no different, Mentally, no different. You just like girls AND guys. I do too. And on you're question, I've actually had MANY more women as an open bisexual than I ever had as a closet bisexual.

At 7/13/10 12:55 PM, camobch0 wrote: I agree completely with Hungarian, you're just like every other man. Physically, you're no different, Mentally, no different. You just like girls AND guys. I do too. And on you're question, I've actually had MANY more women as an open bisexual than I ever had as a closet bisexual.

For some reason it's FAR more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual than a man. Probably because woman on woman gets men hot.

honestly, i dont even think about it that much. i mean i hate people who let their sexuality define them. im bi, but it doesnt effect my every day. its just a label really.

also, does my mom think i wont be happy if im not geting fucked in the ass?

At 7/13/10 05:24 PM, HappyMango wrote: honestly, i dont even think about it that much. i mean i hate people who let their sexuality define them. im bi, but it doesnt effect my every day. its just a label really.

also, does my mom think i wont be happy if im not geting fucked in the ass?

I agree. I act more effeminate than most, but that's pretty much just because I'm not afraid of what people think of me. Plus, I feel more like a woman alot of times.

And I hope not, because getting fucked in the ass causes hemorrhoids.

At 7/13/10 08:25 PM, camobch0 wrote:

And I hope not, because getting fucked in the ass causes hemorrhoids.

i think thats sitting in the dirt or something like that. you're thinking of AIDS

At 7/13/10 05:24 PM, HappyMango wrote: honestly, i dont even think about it that much. i mean i hate people who let their sexuality define them. im bi, but it doesnt effect my every day. its just a label really.

That's a very good attitude to have, and I personally could not agree more.

also, does my mom think i wont be happy if im not geting fucked in the ass?

Unfortunately there is the stereotype that bisexual people are whores who need to be having sex with everyone they meet, its possible that unfortunately your mother believes that too.

At 7/13/10 08:25 PM, camobch0 wrote: And I hope not, because getting fucked in the ass causes hemorrhoids.

Only if you're doing it wrong :P

At 7/13/10 08:37 PM, HappyMango wrote:

At 7/13/10 08:25 PM, camobch0 wrote:

And I hope not, because getting fucked in the ass causes hemorrhoids.

i think thats sitting in the dirt or something like that. you're thinking of AIDS

Anyone can get AIDS, straight, bi or gay, from vaginal, anal or oral sex. Just be smart and always use protection.