The following events are 100% truth, and took place at the Fitness 19 gym, at 4:30 pm.
Today, was a very interesting day. I rode my bike to the gym, and did my normal workout routine. About 20 minutes after i got there, i noticed a group of boys (between 13 - 17) walk in, and being very loud and disruptive. These kids looked familiar, but i didn't think anything of it. So i ignored them, and continued with my workout.
A few minutes passed, and i saw one of these boys running around the stationary equiptment (which is against the rules) So i did my best backseat mod impression and said "Hey! Knock it off man." He gives me this goofy look, and says "ooooh do a barrel roll!". I was actually shocked he said that. He noticed my shocked expression, and proceeded to glare at me for a few seconds. I guess he was trying to be intimidating. After that moment, i said "So i heard you like mudkips.", his glare turned into a look of confusion, mixed with relief. He was joined by his friends now, positioning themselves like some sort of barrier. The middle boy quietly asked the older kid to his left a question that i couldn't hear. This older boy then stepped forward and said "Are you from 4chan?"
I let out a light chuckle, and simply replied with "No, not 4chan.". The older one looked back, and shrugged at the others. The boys behind him prompted to ask me where i was from. So, he said "Where are you from...?" I stood up straight, and replied, "Newgrounds."
Their confused expressions turned into anger. But they made no motion toward me, just watching, waiting. I broke the awkward silence by saying, "I'd like to continue my workout, so if you boys could find somthing productive to do, that would be great." The youngest boy, probably 13, suddenly stepped forward and said "We're not boys! We are chans."
Suddenly, one of the other boys that was working on the triceps machine stopped and said, "Chans?". He was a large, but rather short kid, probably 17. He had a round red face and furious red hair. I motioned my head towards the wall of kids, who shifted their gaze from me, to this mysterious person. He looked at the group, then looked back at me, with a questioning expression on his face. I looked at him and said "Newgrounds.". He laughed, stood up from the workout machine, and leaned against it. He pointed his stubby finger into his chest and said "Ebaums".
I put down the 20 lbs weights that i was holding, and shifted into a defensive stance. I was pretty sure a fight wasn't going to break out, but i held my ground. The chans seemed to be looking over my shoulder. I turned around, and saw a rather tall skinny guy, with his back against the leg press machine, and arms crossed over his chest. He cocked his head slightly, looked at me and said "Newgrounds, huh?". At this point, i wasn't sure what was happening, so i smiled and replied "That's right.". He shifted his head to the other side, and said very lightly "Youtube."
Now i understood what was happening. I was surrounded by representatives of 4chan, EbaumsWorld, and Youtube. The moment was tense, i was hoping that an argument wouldn't start, but i stood firm. The chans looked like they were ready to throw weights at me, the Ebaums dude looked as if he was going to pounce and strangle the chans, and Youtube simply smlied, and watched my every move.
Suddenly, the chans broke formation and scrambled over to the power station. They grabbed at the barbells, and started lifting weights. Ebaums quickly went back to work on his triceps machine, and upped the weight by 30 lbs. Youtube calmly walk up next to me, grabbed the 20 lbs weights i was working with, and started lifting. I, merely smiled, and grabbed the 30 lbs weights from the rack.
It became a competition of some sort, each one of us glancing at each other, seeing who was going to break first. So being the representative of Newgrounds, i kept my cool, and lifted more weight.
This went on for about 30 minutes. The chans were getting tired, Ebaums was bright red, and Youtube was calm, but sweating WAY too much. I made my way over to the treadmills, and each one of them followed, persistant in attempting to beat each other. We stood there, on the treadmills. A straight line of competative website representatives. I said aloud "One mile. Ready? Go."
We started out machines at the same time. And the only rule was, first one to a mile, wins. The treadmills were too far apart to attempt any "foul play", so i concentrated, and set a good pace at 7.5 mph. About five minutes into the race, Ebaums wasn't looking too good. He slowed his pace, but seemed rather determined. The chans were running like maniacs, but it seemed they wasted their energy on the short quick burst. Youtube was running faster, at 9 mph, his long strides giving him the advantage.
After 15 minutes, Ebaums and the chans quit. It was me and Youtube, down to the last 0.2 miles. He kept his pace, i upped my speed to 9.5 mph. he tried to run faster, but he couldn't do it. 3 minutes passed, Ebaums and the Chans watched as i won the race.
As i was getting ready to leave, they approached me, Chans, Ebaums, and Youtube in front. Youtube extended his hand, and said "Well done Newgrounds, well done. But remember, next time, you won't be so lucky." I laughed, and shook his hand. I simply replied with "Next time."
Moral - Stay in shape.
Do what now...?
