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Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew 2009-12-25 11:11:29 Reply

At 12/25/09 01:44 AM, TurtleHood wrote: And again, misinterpreting my words. When I said "sooner or later she'll admit her feelings to you", did I ever mention that those would match his feelings? No. All that was meant that was she'll either tell you that she digs you or not. Unless she completely ignores you, which she probably won't.

He wasn't referring to that part of your post. He was talking about when you said "Don't tell a girl you like her and then ignore her". He was simply saying you shouldn't share your feelings verbally with the girl before you're in any kind of intimate relationship with her.

As for her telling you wether she digs you or not, that's true but it does need some further explaining. The way you say it it gives off the vibe that you should flirt around with a girl untill she finally lets you know where you're at so you can then make your move. While she will eventually let you know what she thinks of you, it pretty much only happens when one of two extremes has been met, namely her desperately wanting you or her desperately wanting to get rid of you. In order to reach either one of those points you'll actually have to take actions and progress (although the latter is most often reached by a lack off action).

While all of this is great stuff, it's also very irrelevant. You can spend whatever amount of time finding out wether a girl likes you or not by analyzing her body language, what she says to you, how much and when she calls you, etc. In the end the only reason you'd want to know this is to compensate your lack of confidence to act wether she shows signs or not. You'll actually make things more complicated for yourself by filling your head with all of these signs while you're better off by going for it and just enjoying yourself no matter the outcome. And as with most things, that also makes it more likely that you'll actually get what you want.

At 12/25/09 01:59 AM, TurtleHood wrote: Haha XD. Nice to see a regular. I'm not a member here but I already got myself into an arguement. Anywho, what is your opinion on this? Always good to have a bi-partial third party.

Not much of an argument if you ask me. Misunderstanding would be a better name for it because the only thing you disagreed on was how honest one would need to be with women, which is also a simple misunderstanding since honesty has many meanings depending on the context. You can, for instance, flirt with a girl by telling things that are not true yet remain honest with her. In fact, flirting becomes quite hard when you only speak the truth simply because honesty tends to make you way too serious.

As for all of the other points since my last one, I'll get to responding to those later when I have enough time to do so properly. Untill then, have a nice Christmas!


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Iseewhatyoudidthar
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Response to Relationship Crew 2009-12-25 22:29:27 Reply

Okay, So I finally found a way to read her replies to me. (Take it one word at a time:P). And anyways all that happened was that it got a bit more awkward. Anyways she replied and said she did not expect me to reply to her message, and then after a couple of awkward .......'s. She said "Okay but....um....Why do you?". And I have been thinking about this all day and its been bothering me, and I have no clue what the hell to say, or if this is a bad sign....

Btw, Thanks for all the support you guys.
Sorry if it seems like I need you guys holding my hand through this, but this is the first time I have done anything like this.

You-thought-so
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Response to Relationship Crew 2009-12-30 13:42:11 Reply

I love someone, you see. so. I want to kiss her on new years. But i chicken out everytime. Please tell me how not to chicken out.

Ps. Please pm me what page my answer is on when it is answered

The person below is an idiot.

Everlasting-Elements
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Response to Relationship Crew 2009-12-31 23:32:16 Reply

At 12/25/09 10:29 PM, Iseewhatyoudidthar wrote: Btw, Thanks for all the support you guys.
Sorry if it seems like I need you guys holding my hand through this, but this is the first time I have done anything like this.

Try the whole... Not tell her why, and show her why method. But I could be totally off. I mean, I answer my girlfriend that question sometimes, but usually not. I usually just try to give her a feeling of love and have her take it from there. Basically, like I don't need a reason for why, I just do.


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Iseewhatyoudidthar
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-02 13:38:02 Reply

Eh sorry guys I need sum halp D:

Anyways, So I kinda got out of that mess of her wanting to know why I like her. My friend without asking me, asked her, if she likes me. She said she wasn't that sure becuase she needed to talk to me more. And my friend said she seemed kind of excited (I am not sure what his idea of excited is). So I am on facebook and she messages me saying "I am supposed to be talking to you :D" So anyways we talked, for about maybe 2 and a half hours, on New Years eve from about 11:00 till about 1:30. But she sent me messages like "You are pretty awesome, some people aren't cool enough to realize that.". And there where a few saying how awesome my humor was and stuff like that. But the most notable thing that happened was about half way through the conversation she asked me if I can text. And she was like "I hope this isn't awkward", and stuff like that, and she gave me her number. Well, when the conversation was kind of like near its end, she was watching a movie at the same time, I just kind of felt worried that I seem boring or she really doesn't want to be talking to me. Another thing I don't know is if this is all just an act of kindness. Because she was telling me about this guy who asked her out and she said she didn't even notice he existed until then. And how she texts him now which is lucky for him. Well, anyways what I am worried about is that I am not sure if she is being real about this, or if this is just an act to make me happy, like how she is texting the other guy. (Whom she said was kind of creepy, but he's sweet)
Btw, Thank you to everybody who has been helping me so far, it has helped A LOT.

Knorpfdog
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-02 15:50:49 Reply

At 1/2/10 01:38 PM, Iseewhatyoudidthar wrote: Eh sorry guys I need sum halp D:

Anyways, So I kinda got out of that mess of her wanting to know why I like her. My friend without asking me, asked her, if she likes me. She said she wasn't that sure becuase she needed to talk to me more. And my friend said she seemed kind of excited (I am not sure what his idea of excited is). So I am on facebook and she messages me saying "I am supposed to be talking to you :D" So anyways we talked, for about maybe 2 and a half hours, on New Years eve from about 11:00 till about 1:30. But she sent me messages like "You are pretty awesome, some people aren't cool enough to realize that.". And there where a few saying how awesome my humor was and stuff like that. But the most notable thing that happened was about half way through the conversation she asked me if I can text. And she was like "I hope this isn't awkward", and stuff like that, and she gave me her number. Well, when the conversation was kind of like near its end, she was watching a movie at the same time, I just kind of felt worried that I seem boring or she really doesn't want to be talking to me. Another thing I don't know is if this is all just an act of kindness. Because she was telling me about this guy who asked her out and she said she didn't even notice he existed until then. And how she texts him now which is lucky for him. Well, anyways what I am worried about is that I am not sure if she is being real about this, or if this is just an act to make me happy, like how she is texting the other guy. (Whom she said was kind of creepy, but he's sweet)
Btw, Thank you to everybody who has been helping me so far, it has helped A LOT.

She's totally into you dude. I can tell from what you've told us, and there have probably been even more signs that you haven't picked up on. Don't worry about the other dude she was telling you about, the fact that she went out of her way to mention it indicates that it's just a test to see how you'll react to it. Don't sweat it and you'll be fine.

What you need to do from here is step it up a little bit, and move the interaction from online/texting to real life. Ask her if she wants to hang out some time, and go for a walk, ice skate, anything like that. As a general tip, don't use the word "date," and don't go anywhere that would be considered a stereotypical first date sort of thing (movies, restaurant, etc.). What this will do is make it more comfortable for both of you. If you make it seem like it's a date, both of you will feel like you need to live up to the socially accepted "normal" first date expectations, which will make it more awkward and strained. Just chill with her, flirt with her, tease her, have a good time and show her who you are. Like I said, don't worry needlessly and you'll be fine.

Iseewhatyoudidthar
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-03 16:31:41 Reply

Well thanks anyways everyone,

We got to talking last night, she does like me but she just says she isn't ready for a relationship. She said that she loves me as a friend and stuff, but that's it. I really wish I could get her to change her mind or something but that doesn't seem very possible.

Thank you to everybody.
And Knorgfdog or however the fuck you spell your name, Special thanks to you bro.

B4gle
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-05 04:58:36 Reply

I've been dating this girl for 4 months now. She is a little bit of a tomboy and has a lot of guy friends. When i first started dating her of course her friendship with so many guys gave me a bad idea about her but she told me it was nothing and they were only friends. I became friends with these guys too.

But I couldn't help but feel jealous when she would go up behind these guys, grab them by the waist and be really happy saying things like "heeeyy!!", but then even though i've been dating her for a month by now when she saw me it would feel like she didn't really care.

This is kind of hard for me to explain, basically she acts more like a girlfriend to her friends than to me. Keep in mind I am really putting effort into this and trying to be a really good boyfriend.

About 3 months into dating her, I eventually got a little fed up with the way she was constantly acting around other guys, and when I asked her friends about it they said they noticed that too. I brought it up and she kept telling me not to get jealous, blah blah blah.. and she wouldnt understand me. This turned into a fight and I ended up yelling at her a bit and I broke up with her, then apologized for yelling at her afterward. She said she wanted to take a break from talking to me.

2 days later at school she comes up to me and says she wants to talk to me. We walk down in one of empty halls and she says "i miss you." and I still really liked her so i said "lets forget this stupid thing" and we kissed.

Now, I'm feeling the same way again. My feelings for her are going on and off.. some days I'll feel like i really, really love her, and other days i'll say to myself "thats it. im breaking up with her".

I don't want to lose her but at the same time the way she expects me to not give a shit when she is jumping in other guys laps and flirting with her 'best friends' is really driving me insane. Espically when one of her friends in particular, liked to grab her ass and touch her, before i started to date her and would start doing that again if we broke up. I couldnt stand seeing that happen.

What should i do? Im really confused about my feelings right now, should i tell her I just want to take a break for a while?


You have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

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Knorpfdog
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-05 16:51:19 Reply

Found this on facebook, thought it was hilarious and that I might as well share it ;).

26 Ways to Impress a Girl
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say you say "you better be". Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then, when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words @#%$ you, and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then, take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then, drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye". The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball or waterpolo.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say "no she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one to the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say no it's just the rain. Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters, and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one
that much, but I think it's funny.

26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will
make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're
going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't
call.

KennyD
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-05 23:05:52 Reply

Well, I really don't know how to start this off, and I really don't understand my urge to tell you guys (anonymity?) But, here it goes.

I recently went home for Christmas and New Years down in Houston, I hadn't seen my family in a year and I was actually looking forward to see them. After two lengthy flights and the headaches that accompany holiday travel, I arrived in Houston and was greeted by my Mother and soon I was at home.
The next day I got up and, with only 3 days before Christmas, I needed to complete all my shopping. I headed out to the Woodlands, which is about 30 miles north of Downtown Houston. Before I go any further let me tell you a little about my relationship history:
1. I have had only 8 serious relationships
2. I have been invited to 7 weddings
3. I am CURSED.
Anyways, I am idling about the mall, and someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and I see a girl who has haunted my dreams for years. Her name is Jenn, in terms of girls, she was, to me, the one that got away. Jenn was my most recent girlfriend, prior to joining the military. She impacted my life in ways that I don't even understand. She was athletic, smart, independent, she understood sports, she tolerated video games, she's the not only the only girl who's ever cooked for me, she made a Cherry Pie (my favorite dessert) from scratch. To me, she was perfect and them some.
First off, last I recalled she was going to college in Kentucky, and even if she was in town she lived approx. 70 miles from the Woodlands. So seeing her is something I had not anticipated. Our conversation went something like this:
Jenn: Kenny, is that you? Oh my god, you look great!
Me: Jenn?
J: Oh course, who'd you think it was?
M: Wha... How.... Huhh...
J: It's been along time, hasn't it?
M: Just a bit
J: Oh! I have exciting news! I met this gentleman, Coby, he's (blah blah blah) and we're engaged!
M: Ohh.... that's fantastic...
J: Shoot, I'm running late. But I want you to know that even though we didn't work out, you were the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for.
M:....
Let me make this clear, not only have seven of my exes been married, they married the person immediately after me. Jenn makes it 8. That makes the marriage after me 8 for 8 people. 1 is it happens 2 or 3 is unusual, but 8, I am cursed! Its not that the engaged thing threw me off, I would be lying if I didn't have expect it to happen (I didn't expect to hear about first hand though) But it what she said afterwords that really mind-fucked me. She put me in this funk that I can't shake and I have completely shut down around women.

I don't know anymore, I feel that any relationship will end up in more disappointment. and that's something I don't want to deal with. I'm just curious as to what your input into this is.

(I know the story drops off rather suddenly, but this was really depressing to write)

Winned
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-06 20:10:48 Reply

I don't know anymore, I feel that any relationship will end up in more disappointment. and that's something I don't want to deal with. I'm just curious as to what your input into this is.

You're right, you are cursed. You should swear off women for fear of disappointment and rejection. Or, now this is a long shot. You could ignore your fear and continue to pursue any girl you show interest in, no matter what may possibly happen. Maybe you should take a cue from these past girlfriends of yours and act as if every relationship after your previous one could be the relationship that will lead you to the love of your life. :D

Worst comes to worst, you break up and they get married, oh no. Worst thing ever.

PS - Vincoid, empty your damn inbox. I'm unable to update and I know you're super excited.


I need Monet, to buy DeGas to make my Van Gogh. I tried to Hale a cab but my Whistler didn't Turner 'round.

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Everlasting-Elements
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-09 03:15:56 Reply

At 1/5/10 11:05 PM, KennyD wrote: I don't know anymore, I feel that any relationship will end up in more disappointment. and that's something I don't want to deal with. I'm just curious as to what your input into this is.

This goes against what I think really, but maybe you need to have a little bit of fun with girls, now. And you're like... 100 percent sure this girl is getting married, or was she just toying with your little nogon?


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Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-10 13:22:37 Reply

At 1/6/10 08:10 PM, Winned wrote: PS - Vincoid, empty your damn inbox. I'm unable to update and I know you're super excited.

Seriously, I thought it was half empty :P


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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StupidHumorKing
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-10 14:56:51 Reply

I have been searching for a girlfriend because to be quite frank, I can't truly do what I want to do with my life without being loved and being IN love. That and I've gotten to an age where I'm sick and tired of being on my own. I have all this love to give, but no woman to give me a chance.

I can't find any inspiration or determination in anything else BUT love, because if I am in love and that woman is on my mind, that's enough for me to do things because I'm not just doing thing for me, I would be doing them for her as well.

In a nutshell, I'm dependent on love and love only. Does that make me weak? If so, why should it? I personally see being totally independent as not needing anyone, not for money problems but for emotional needs, e.g. shoulder to cry on, hugs, console in someone.

I like video games, drawing, animating, movies, bowling, spaghetti bolognese, McDs, Subway, KFC, going out somewhere OTHER than pubs or clubs, mini-golf, Youtube, Newgrounds, Metal, Classic and other songs that put my own music video inside my head to them. I like the occasional walk or run as well.

I dislike people who smoke around me, cigarettes and smoke altogether, drugs, intimidation, hard-nature, arguements, music that doesn't make sense/sounds as if the singer is crying or high on drugs/is popular with yobs and gangster parasites and the everyday balance between good and evil (it gets VERY boring).

I have Asperger's Syndrome, I'm currently job hunting (which is going shit), I hate people's beliefs and what should be "normal", I hate balance and don't think it works in a relationship because I actually want to BE nice to a woman I have deep feelings for and to BE in a nice relationship, I don't follow the latest social trends (i.e. going to clubs and pubs to get drunk or needing a drink in order to socialise) because, to be blunt, I'm not a sheep and I have my own mind about how to have fun and won't be pressured into anything I'm not comfortable with (got drunk once, NEVER doing it again and I don't see why I should).

Problem is, I live in a town mostly consisting of alpha-male insects, yob culture scum and people who think that getting pissed every fucking weekend is their only source of fun. Pathetic I think. What saddens me the most is that there ARE a few good (overall) women that live in my town, but keep going for arseholes who are going to treat them like shit. Nearly EVERYTIME. Then after they get treated like shit and dumped (or them dumping the arsehole), they give up looking for love (even though there's guys like me out there who actually want to make a relationship work for them), which I think is sad really since they give up on hope as well. I'm a BIG believer in hope and patience.

See, when I last had a girlfriend, I was happy, I could do things, but now I can't because I'm unhappy. I have all these ideas for things I want to do, it's just that if I'm unhappy then it's going to affect the things I want done in my life. I could have finished a game I've been working a couple of YEARS ago if I wasn't shoved aside by potential women. I recently made a flash animation to a uni friend I had really deep feelings for, poured my heart out to her and she told me that she didn't have those feelings for me back and wanted to continue to be friends, which I accepted. But still, I'm unhappy in general and I can't help that.

How can I get myself out there? How can I get them to notice what they're missing? Is it typically going to come to spending loads of money on fancy clothes and going out wearing them every single day, taking ages to do my hair every single morning or putting on a personality and a whole new dangerous level of confidence to make me out what I'm truly not to people?

Or is there any advice in this club that would actually help? If any of you think I'm pathetic for thinking the way I think or me appearing completely alien as hell to this world, then don't bother saying so because I will only reply to people who will actually give me some helpful advice.

To those who would like to kindly advise me, thank you :)

tarahloveshentai
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-14 02:01:58 Reply

I've dug myself a very deep hole you guys. This involves a threesome gone bad that ended up souring my relationship with my boyfriend and accidentally starting one with the my boyfriends best friend.

I don't know how to explain it 100% because I know I'm going to criticized as a whore or whatever other cute names but I really need an outside opinion to listen to my story and tell me what should be done.

Anyone up for privately talking with me about it or attempting to help me in here? I'm very stressed and fitting the stereotypical overly emotional girl motif.


I respond to every message!

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Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-14 09:03:42 Reply

At 1/14/10 02:01 AM, tarahloveshentai wrote: Anyone up for privately talking with me about it or attempting to help me in here? I'm very stressed and fitting the stereotypical overly emotional girl motif.

You're welcome to PM me if you want. I might just be able to help you out a bit too ;)


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-16 20:17:07 Reply

At 1/14/10 02:01 AM, tarahloveshentai wrote: I've dug myself a very deep hole you guys. This involves a threesome gone bad that ended up souring my relationship with my boyfriend and accidentally starting one with the my boyfriends best friend.

I don't know how to explain it 100% because I know I'm going to criticized as a whore or whatever other cute names but I really need an outside opinion to listen to my story and tell me what should be done.

Anyone up for privately talking with me about it or attempting to help me in here? I'm very stressed and fitting the stereotypical overly emotional girl motif.

Oh dear oh me, sound like you've got yourself into a bit of bother!
Believe me, I've seen this scenario unfold many times over and there is very rarely a happy ending.

It sounds to me as if a lustful fantasy has overspilled into real life and - as with many sex related misadventures - there is always a big mess to clean up afterwards.

Springer's Final Thought:

Today's youth are a promiscuous bunch, to be sure! If they are not rubbing themselves against each other at the local disco chances are they are groping each others wobbly bits in the back seat of a cousins Chevy Impala (2010 Edition).

Maybe old fashioned "prudishness" about matters sexual is a thing of the past but with new found sexual awareness old values fade fast and - some may argue - not always with positive results :(

You engaged in a threesome with your boyfriend and his best friend but soon found yourself craving the pork sword of another man. It seems the lines between fantasy and reality became blurred in an hormonal rush of lustful foolishness (and cock sucking).

Now, it seems, you want to get back with your boyfriend but he seems hurt by your betrayal.
It seems, in this case, three really was a crowd.

The question you really need to ask yourself is this: If a third member was invited into the marital bedroom to satisfy sexual demands then perhaps the relationship was already lacking something very important to begin with... and I'm not talking about a big fat cock!

Until next time, take care of yourself...

...and each other.

-J.S xxx

Relationship Crew

ZombieMonkey
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-22 22:10:30 Reply

I have been hanging out with this girl for the past 5 months. We are not dating but we hang out as we do. I would like to date her but she is scared of ruining our friendship. Everybody thinks we are dating and think we should.

She broke up with her boyfriend and helped her cope with it in December and since then she has mostly hung with me. I told her that Liked her during the holiday break and she said that she doesn't want to risk ruining our good friendship.

These last couple of weeks though she wanted to hang out a little more then usual. This week alone I went to the movies, skated with her 2x and went to the mall 3x together on separate days.

I don't exactly know what to think right now. Should I keep taking it slowly or do something, Can anybody give me some advice?


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Peacekid
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-23 04:31:01 Reply

Me again.

Theres this girl in my classes. I think she likes me, but she has all this extra curricular crap. This week is registration week and I've been able to talk to her more. But I really want to do something with her. I've never tried anything with girls before, and I'm not sure how a normal conversation would play out.

Anyone got a dummies guide to this kind of stuff? I'm not shy or anything, I'm pretty loud in class. I am just dumb when it comes to girls.


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theJPK
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-24 11:01:04 Reply

So there's this girl, I will call her Sara, shes used to be best friends with my brother. They would hang out and sometimes id be there too, and even then (which was 6 years ago) there was sexual tension. My bro would come home from work and we'd have our hands where they shouldn't be accounting we both had serious relationships going on. But it was always my brother, and our 3 year age difference that kept us apart.

Recently my brother got into trouble with her shoplifting, so naturally my parents didn't want me and my brother to see her again. I hadn't seen her for a while, but after a few months we started talking again. I invited her to a party, during which she told me she can't stop having sexual dreams about me. Accounting that she was completely sober I was a bit confused. She has a once very close boyfriend and all they have been doing for the few months is fight. They still live together, but both of them told me they don't have sex anymore. Hes a failure too, he doesn't have a job or a high school diploma, she works two jobs to support him.

I wasn't gonna pass this chance up, because I am a 16 year old virgin, and shes a 19 year old bartender model with her own apartment and a porche. I've had feelings for her for a while, and whiles we've been best friends I wanted more. And with how well I knew her, she wouldn't play me and sincerely had feelings for me. And now 3 months later her boyfriend and her are still together. She still backpacks him through life and fights with him the whole way. Me and her are as close as you'd expect a 3 month secret relationship would be, with still no sex(we rarely find enough time alone to get past foreplay and when we do we cant find a place to go). We are obvious around her boyfriend almost, while he drives us around she will be in the backseat with me where she keeps a blanket to cover up her path into my pants. I get involved in their fights, and once put him through a table for her. She tells me she loves me, but I've talked to her and don't see why hes still there. I know cause im 16 there's things i cant be for her but I love her enough to do my best. Cause im the most mature 16 year old out there, im in college and only have 18 year old+ friends.

She knows id be anything for her; friend, lover, or both. And I've asked her as all of those to get rid of him, the closest guy to her in her life and she tells me the whole truth why she hasn't but it never seems like its enough. I told her I think shes the one that still loves him, not the other way around and she didn't deny it. What do you think I should do? Like I know she loves me as a friend were inseparable and we could write a book about each others life story. And I know that I am the only guy shes ever had who could get her so 'ready to go' so fast sexually. But I need her to get rid of her boyfriend and she doesn't, and that breaks my heart a little.

For those brave enough to read this wall of text: how can I get her to break up with him, and if possible how can I get her to go from best friends with benefits to falling in love with me(possibly both at the same time)? Or do you think I should just move on and be her friend again until she sorts things out?


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nathan0191
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-24 11:48:25 Reply

right, i need help here because i am so very confused.

iv liked this girl for a while now, and me, her and two other freinds got REALY drunk, and i told her i liked her, i havnt dated for about 2 years and havnt realy fancied someone for the same amount of time, and i was missing from college last year. after getting drunk (last week actually), and making a total fool of myself, we became realy good freinds 0_o, which is kinda confusing. we are both have realy similar tastes in music, which usally whouldnt be that big a del, but i dont think you find many people who love jimi hendrix and HIM. weve talked quite a bit any know prity much everythink about eachother private life, like she knows why i was gone for a year, which very few people know, and i know realy privte stuff of hers, despite the fct weve only been good freinds for like a week. i think she thinks im kinda attractive, and i think shess gorgious, which she knows (beer + girl you like = bad combo for secrets), and we both think the other one is abserlootly awsome, and now were going to a HIM concert in about 6 weeks, just us, and were going to wait around to try to get an autograph. weve got a pritty close freindship now and i dont know what to do. im pritty sure she doesnt want to go out with me, and i think asking whould ruin our freindship, because id feel like a fool and id recon id upset her. even if i do ask and she says yes, im worried that if we broke up, id either lose her as a freind, or it whould be realy wierd.

advice on what to do please? and sorry for the bad spelling.


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theJPK
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-24 19:32:45 Reply

At 1/24/10 11:01 AM, theJPK wrote: So there's this girl...

nvm lol she broke up with him today asked me out and im now at her apartment about to loose my v card :D


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nathan0191
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-24 19:44:21 Reply

At 1/24/10 07:32 PM, theJPK wrote:
At 1/24/10 11:01 AM, theJPK wrote: So there's this girl...
nvm lol she broke up with him today asked me out and im now at her apartment about to loose my v card :D

Hi-five :D


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UltimateAxl
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-24 20:23:27 Reply

This fucking sucks..

I might aswell come here and see where it might take me.

Summary:

I met this girl for one month. Count it out, I've been in three rounds of guys just to try to be with her. She says I'm her best friend, and she thinks it wouldn't be a good idea to be with her.

First round, she rejected a guy for me. Second round, I got rejected by a guy that she liked for a year. Third round, she doesn't like that guy anymore and now I think I have my chance. Nope, I don't have my chance, some guy barged into my process and fucked up everything. Now she likes him and I'm getting no where. If she said I was her best friend, how come I didn't go to the movies with her today, when she's with that guy and her friends?

Fucking girls don't make any sense whatsoever, that's something to remember. Now I'm stuck being her best friend, well it does beat not being with her anyway.

I'm getting jealous, thank god I'm getting my medication on Tuesday. Medication for not treating and not handling my emotions the right way. Depressed/Anxiety (I can't handle it). Not because of women, but in general.

I told her I'm not going to be near her when she's with that guy. It'll just get me irritated because I have no fucking clue why he had to ruin the formula me and her had. And when that fucking guy gets her, me and her will split. Fuck you guys who barge into a process in the making! Now I'm friends, plain and simple, nothing more.

One line that fucking irritates me though, "I'm not the right one for you, you'll find someone better..." Fuck.


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UltimateAxl
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-25 08:37:51 Reply

Also that I might add, if girls do this to you, forget it, it will not work. Don't stress yourself out, I know someone else is looking for me. Just not at the right places.

The more I know, huh?


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Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-25 17:54:31 Reply

At 1/25/10 08:37 AM, UltimateAxl wrote: Also that I might add, if girls do this to you, forget it, it will not work. Don't stress yourself out, I know someone else is looking for me. Just not at the right places.

The more I know, huh?

Ok, then consider this next bit of knowledge.

No one else but you is responsible for your life and how you feel but you. You will not have perfect control over everything that happens, but you can control what you do and you can control how you feel about what happens to you.
The key in making your own happiness is taking responsibility for your life, what you want and the lack of it. Only by admitting that you are the one who creates your own happiness and your own misery will you be able to achieve happiness and grow as a person. If you give up jealousy and spend your time achieving what you want instead of being jealous, you take responsibility for what you want and are able to grow. If you stop blaming others for ruining your plan (which wasn't perfect to begin with and the other person had no clue off nor had any reason to respect it) and admit that you were handling your shit wrong, you can finally take the step beyond your own fears and become a stronger person who actually gets what he wants.

You see, blaming others, for whatever it may be, will get you nowhere. You can make them responsible in your mind for not having what you want, but there will not be a single moment where one these people will stop and think: "Hey, let's make this guy's life better while disregarding my own completely". You will find excuses for making any kind of personal growth needed to achieve what you want. Without this personal growth you won't be able to hold on to what you want anyway would there be some miraculous way that you found it.
That's the secret behind true personal succes. People who put in the effort to become who they need to be will be rewarded with getting and being able to hold on to what they want. Excuses and ignoring your responsibility will never get you what you want because the actual thing you desire is to be fearless. You want to live a life without a fear, imagining yourself doign anything you want completely relaxed.
I bet you've imagined dozens of times that you would step up to a girl and say what you needed to say with limitless confidence and no fear. The truth is that you will always be scared, you will always feel fear and you'll always feel uncomfortable. It's because what you want is something you don't already possess, something that's unfamiliar to you and thus something you're uncomfortable with. And the only way to get it is not be fearless but to be courageous; to act in spite of your fear.
Instead, you decide to not act at all, to not face your fear and to project hate on all who face their fears and gain what you desired. But you do not hate them nor not getting what you wanted, you hate the fact that you lack the strenght to act.
What I want you to know is that you in fact do not lack this strength. Somewhere inside you is a part of you that wants to project this strength. This part of you is currently suppressed and the reason for that is that you don't take responsibility for your life. Only if you aknowledge the existance of this part of you, stop bullshitting yourself and listen only to this strongest desire of who you want to be will you be able to achieve happiness. True success is not in achieving the result, it's in facing your fear and taking the step towards it.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to constantly live in fear, trying to ignore it and making excuses for not being who you want to be and not having what you want? Or are you going to constantly live in fear because you're doing what you're afraid off, becoming comfortable with the fear and achieving the personality you truly want? The choice is yours.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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UltimateAxl
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-01-26 19:19:30 Reply

At 1/25/10 05:54 PM, Vincoid wrote: So what are you going to do? Are you going to constantly live in fear, trying to ignore it and making excuses for not being who you want to be and not having what you want?

Actually, Vincoid, I already made my decision. I'm not going to constantly live in the fear that I have. Me having aspergers (confirmed) it's not very easy. Basically, my only fear that I have is "getting into the relationship" rather than just talking with a girl. I love talking to women, but when it comes to relationships, I'm so naive at it.

I can make my own happiness, and that's trusting myself. What I do need is to make myself stronger, the stronger I am, the better I get. Right now, I'm just friends with the girl, I realized I'm just her "comfort zone" and that's it. I am perfectly okay with that now.

Or are you going to constantly live in fear because you're doing what you're afraid off, becoming comfortable with the fear and achieving the personality you truly want? The choice is yours.

The personality I want is still not "shown" to people yet, that's my only fear. But I know I can overcome it.. :)

I think I made my choice!


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comicretard
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-02-01 15:54:59 Reply

I just started going out with this one girl, and he went the movies, had a good time, I think we should go on another date, but going to the movies agian would be lame. What are your suggestions for the location of a second date?


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Knorpfdog
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-02-01 17:12:50 Reply

At 2/1/10 03:54 PM, comicretard wrote: I just started going out with this one girl, and he went the movies, had a good time, I think we should go on another date, but going to the movies agian would be lame. What are your suggestions for the location of a second date?

Go for a walk, go iceskating, just hang out at one of your houses...you can go anywhere as long as both of you have a good time.

escudo0
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Response to Relationship Crew 2010-02-02 04:24:28 Reply

Mind if help out? I have had 3 succesful relationships with three trainwrecks of women and one bad one with a normal(ish) girl.
My first gf was a totally tapped gothic artist who literally kick the nerve endings out of my shins. Pain makes me laugh and she was into this and she littleraly destroyed my shin bones with steel toe boots. I made this last for 3 years untill we broke up on good terms. We couldn't see each other as much as we liked and you change a lot from 8th grade to sophomore year.

The second I met at college. when I met her she was selling her manic depression meds to pay off drunk driving fines. We broke up after she lost her liscence and had to move to new york. THis lasted about 4 months.

My current girlfriend was kind of seeing a friend of mine who she stopped after he spelled ingore horribly wrong in a text message. He is a good guy but seldom have I met a dumber man. He and she came to a party at a friends house where everybody got drunk and she passed out literally across me and a buddy kevin. and luckily i got the top half of her because she peed. ON HIM. AND HE WAS COOL WITH IT. She is also a small time weed dealer and drug user which is fine by me. This has lasted 8 months so far.

So am I in.


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