Increasing my cunt

[FUNKbrs]

Most you think I'm a bit of a cunt, as well you should. Strangers deserve the doubt of a benefit, after all.

Those of you who know me better know I'm a pretty big cunt.

But life is about progression.

I want to be the biggest cunt. The cuntiest cunt to ever cunt through the country of Cuntistan.

Help me Newgrounds BBS. You are my only hope.

I need to increase my cunt levels. To cunt on levels not before reached in recorded history. I want to cunt to levels only cavemen have achieved with secret hidden esoteric knowledge of mammoth cunts now extinct for over 5 thousand years.

I need to be the cuntmaster. I need to be able to walk down the street and have people shout "OI! CUNT!" at me where ever I go, especially people who never say the words "OI!" or "cunt" except in relation to me.

What tips do you have on being a bigger cunt?

[ACYL]

At 12/26/16 11:05 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Most you think I'm a bit of a cunt, as well you should. Strangers deserve the doubt of a benefit, after all.

The phrase is "the benefit of the doubt" you fucking cunt

[Ganon-Dorf]

Post in threads with @GoryBlizzard about gentrification and communism and argue points contra his stance until the BBS implodes from the flame war that will erupt.

[daetj]

mutate your alpha 5 reductase gene. and while youre at it lift heavy weights and become a siccunt

[FUNKbrs]

At 12/26/16 11:43 PM, ACYL wrote:

At 12/26/16 11:05 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Most you think I'm a bit of a cunt, as well you should. Strangers deserve the doubt of a benefit, after all.

The phrase is "the benefit of the doubt" you fucking cunt

It would be the benefit of the doubt if I was assuming good nature of strangers. Since I'm assuming that strangers are evil cunts instead of nice innocent people, I state the phrase in reverse. Because I in fact mean the opposite of that phrase. Because I said exactly what I meant.

You cunt.

At 12/26/16 11:45 PM, D3KU wrote: Stop acting like a cunt

It's like you read the thread and the message bounced off your stupid head like a dome of stone. Being a cunt is my goal. King Kunt, if you will, a giant curly haired gorilla with a gaping toothless sideways maw. I want to be such a huge cunt I blur the lines between geography and gynecology.

At 12/26/16 11:52 PM, Ganon-Dorf wrote: Post in threads with @GoryBlizzard about gentrification and communism and argue points contra his stance until the BBS implodes from the flame war that will erupt.

@GoryBlizzard is always wrong about everything when his opinion is different from mine, because I know everything and am the most correct of all the people ever. Sometimes he's wrong when he disagrees with me, but whenever he agrees with me he's completely right.

Yes, I'm intentionally being a cunt

At 12/26/16 11:56 PM, daetj wrote: mutate your alpha 5 reductase gene. and while youre at it lift heavy weights and become a siccunt

See, this is what I'm talking about right here.

First cunt of all you cunts to use some damn SCIENCE.

Bravo, sir, and fine cunting to you. I've been exposing myself to solar radiation in an attempt to mutate this gene for quite some time. I think I'll go knock some weights around right now.

[Stumpy-Alex]

Become a porn star, hog the camera with your douchebag gorilla faces. Like bruce venture, basically.

[FUNKbrs]

At 12/27/16 01:07 AM, Stumpy-Alex wrote: Become a porn star, hog the camera with your douchebag gorilla faces. Like bruce venture, basically.

I like where this is going. Mutating my genes and lifting weights to become a siccunt also lines up with this. It seems there's a solid plan forming up now.

Good work, cunts.

At 12/27/16 09:02 AM, Jyni wrote: Make more threads about wanting to be a bigger cunt.

Oh, I will.

This is only the beginning of my cuntquest.

[Radaketor]

buy the biggest, most painful-looking dildo you can find and ride it every day before going to bed, son

[FUNKbrs]

At 12/27/16 11:06 AM, Radaketor wrote: buy the biggest, most painful-looking dildo you can find and ride it every day before going to bed, son

Sadly, I lack the genital equipment to make this a reality.

Yes, this plan could work if I wanted to be a bigger asshole, but frankly that term is amerocentric and outdated.

No, my quest is for the cunt, and as such Goatse's light can never guide me.

Even a transcunt would not grant me the cuntscendance I crave.

I may be restricted to only being a cunt metaphorically, but it is my duty to bridge that gap as best I can as an example to others.

[Stumpy-Alex]

At 12/27/16 12:12 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 12/27/16 11:06 AM, Radaketor wrote:

I may be restricted to only being a cunt metaphorically, but it is my duty to bridge that gap as best I can as an example to others.

You're an inspiration to us all.

[TailsPrower]

OI! CUNT!

[FUNKbrs]

At 12/28/16 08:05 AM, hyperrobotz16 wrote: Study the greats that came before you. If you want to be the best cunt you have to learn from the legendary cunts in the past, but also in the presents. Make the biggest cunts your role models.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_%22Chopper%22_Read

This is the first that comes to mind. Sadly he's dead. Perhaps I should read his book?

Now you have to seek out other cunts, preferably older, and have them teach you this occunt knowledge. Now they're not just going to teach the way of the cunt to anywho, they have to like you and see potential in your cunt.

Esoteric occunt knowledge is so rare and precious. Mastercunts are so rarely aware of their status. It seems the hardest part of such an apprenticeship is getting the master to truly recognize their mastery of the Way of the Cunt.

Mastercunts make it look easy, and alot of people don't appreciate the hard work they put into achieving greatness.

Sometimes when I'm trying to be a total cunt, people take my over effort as a sign of sarcasm and don't understand the depth of my cuntiness, reducing my over all level of cunt achievement. Cuntiness without effort is truly the highest level of cunt mastery.

You don't just wake up one day and be a Grand master chess player, it takes time to learn the way of the cunt.

I hoped this helped, and remember, if you face massive opposition you're doing it right.

Thank you so much for you guidance. I have a lot of respect for the truly great cunts and the mark they have left on history. I think we all have a duty to honor their traditions and not settle for being mediocunts.

[NewgroundsNation]

do nuthin at all.

[DrSevenSeizeMD]

I'm not sure about how to increase yours, but this gal has a pretty big one. Maybe ask her?

I'm referring to Kanye West

I love you suga

[ADR3-N]

At 12/27/16 11:06 AM, Radaketor wrote: buy the biggest, most painful-looking dildo you can find and ride it every day before going to bed, son

The legendary butt pyramid... except cuntier

[FUNKbrs]

Relevant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMSM6wz6YIU

At 12/28/16 08:58 PM, NewgroundsNation wrote: do nuthin at all.

It is true that part of what defines a cunt is the empty space in the middle.

Tao of Cunt, there mate.

At 12/29/16 04:27 PM, SevenSeize wrote: I'm not sure about how to increase yours, but this gal has a pretty big one. Maybe ask her?

I'm referring to Kanye West

I love you suga

I've studied her mastery for a while. Luckily there's some quite close up footage of the details of her cunt in action in various situations.

Sadly, my strengths don't line up with hers. It's a high goal to be such a cunt old men around you surgically alter their bodies to have a cunt where a dick once was.

You really have to be born to that level of cunt, and I'm taking more of a working class, blue collar, Good Will Cunting approach.

At 12/29/16 11:49 PM, EDM364 wrote:

At 12/27/16 11:06 AM, Radaketor wrote: buy the biggest, most painful-looking dildo you can find and ride it every day before going to bed, son

The legendary butt pyramid... except cuntier

Just thinking out loud here, but is the Sphinx female? And if so, how big of a cunt does it have? I mean, a stone cold monolithic lion cunt is pretty hard to top.

[Tony-DarkGrave]

I <3 your {()} for who it is.

[Sheizenhammer]

So... You want to be Donald Trump?

Didn't he write a book on being a state-approved cunt or something? Go find that and study every word of it, while masturbating coldly and clinically over it at the same time. At a bus stop.

[mothballs]

Consume large amounts of estrogen and run around slapping people in the face and running away.

[someaveragechap]

If you smoke, make sure to blow big plumes of it in people's faces.

Tell people that post the art of children that you make better paintings when you take a dump.

you might already be doing this one

Spit in someone's soup after you're done paying your meal.

Tell people that are victims of crimes that they deserved it.

Leave flash drives full of malware outside business companies that aren't tech savvy.