At 9/12/13 03:12 PM, Steveurkel wrote: I wish I had Ron Jeremy's cock

Granted. The police break down your door in the middle of the night and arrest you, under the charges of castrating Ron Jeremy. You swear you didn't do it, but they search your room and find that you do, indeed, have Ron Jeremy's cock.

You are sentenced to death.

I wish I was stronger.

At 9/12/13 05:44 PM, SCTE3 wrote: I don't wish for anything.

Granted. You spend the rest of your life wishing you had used your wish (no pun intended), but is too late. You've wasted it by not wishing for anything. The depression and regret eventually get to you, and you kill yourself.

I wish I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

At 9/12/13 06:32 PM, VinnyXY wrote:

At 9/12/13 06:04 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 9/12/13 05:44 PM, SCTE3 wrote: I don't wish for anything.

Granted. You spend the rest of your life wishing you had used your wish (no pun intended), but is too late. You've wasted it by not wishing for anything. The depression and regret eventually get to you, and you kill yourself.

I wish I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Granted, but you are now allergic to it.

I wish for anything and everything.

Granted, one of the things you have is a gravitational singularity. The black hole compresses everything else you have, everything around you, friends, family members, innocent bystanders as well as yourself of course into one super dense speck.

I wish I had a goat with lifeless wings.

At 3/24/13 09:30 AM, Gimmick wrote:

At 3/24/13 09:24 AM, Dry-Ice wrote: Also, we had a big one of these a few years back

Aw man, that last guy never got his wish fulfilled! :(
You get your wish but the climate is hot and there's no water; you're in the Sahara desert.
I wish for nothing.

You're wish is granted and you become nothing.
I wish to go to disneyland

At 9/13/13 02:26 AM, NeverHundred wrote: I wish I had a goat with lifeless wings.

Granted, now you have to clean up all its shit.

At 9/13/13 02:42 AM, ErikMasters wrote: I wish to go to disneyland

Granted, you are eaten alive by Pluto.

I wish that actually happened.

At 9/13/13 05:49 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish that actually happened.

"Granted, Puto the dwarf planet shrinks to the size of a spec of dust turning it into a black hole consuming the user, but also consuming you"
Misaka says, granting Mike's wish

"I wish I had a older sister"
wishes Misaka

"I wish I had a older sister"
wishes Misaka

Granted but she treats you like your Cinderella

I wish someone would acknowledge me for this is my 100th forum post

At 9/13/13 11:44 PM, sweet-n-saltynut wrote:

"I wish I had a older sister"
wishes Misaka

Granted but she treats you like your Cinderella

I wish someone would acknowledge me for this is my 100th forum post

Granted, everyone will only notice your 100th post. Everything else you post will be completely ignored and/or go by unnoticed.

I wish for space bread....

At 9/14/13 06:35 AM, 00Nick00 wrote:
I wish for space bread....

Granted, but it's in space.

I wish for super powers.

At 9/14/13 08:47 AM, UltimateCJ64 wrote:

At 9/14/13 06:35 AM, 00Nick00 wrote:
I wish for space bread....

Granted, but it's in space.

I wish for super powers.

Granted, you have the power to take a shit.

I wish @TomFulp would post in this thread.

At 9/14/13 11:52 AM, VinnyXY wrote: I wish someone could give me something.

Granted, I give you shit.

I wish to die of old age without having been banned once.

At 9/14/13 12:34 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/14/13 11:52 AM, VinnyXY wrote: I wish someone could give me something.

Granted, I give you shit.

I wish to die of old age without having been banned once.

Granted, but the site never works on any device you have or ever will use again. And old age is now 10 years old.

At 9/14/13 12:38 PM, SychoSloth wrote: Granted, but the site never works on any device you have or ever will use again. And old age is now 10 years old.

I wish you had made a wish. Also, congrats to the 69th post.

At 9/14/13 01:00 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/14/13 12:38 PM, SychoSloth wrote: Granted, but the site never works on any device you have or ever will use again. And old age is now 10 years old.

I wish you had made a wish. Also, congrats to the 69th post.

Granted, but their wish would be too inappropriate for this thread.
I wish I could come up with a better wish.

At 9/16/13 06:02 PM, ragnkinson wrote: Granted, but their wish would be too inappropriate for this thread.
I wish I could come up with a better wish.

Granted, but you forgot it

I wish girls talk to boys instead of usually the other way around.

At 9/16/13 10:31 PM, VinnyXY wrote:
I wish someone could teach me something.

Granted, but it's useless.

I wish religion wasn't being such big part of society as it is.

At 9/17/13 02:36 AM, ragnkinson wrote:

At 9/16/13 10:31 PM, VinnyXY wrote:
I wish someone could teach me something.

Granted, but it's useless.

I wish religion wasn't being such big part of society as it is.

Long version: Your wish is granted. Everyone just says, "fuck religion." Now, since most of the morals and values our laws are based on derive from religion (e. g. not killing, as an easy example), there is nothing left to prevent people from wreaking havoc. And you are among the first to be killed.

Or, for dummies: Now we're all atheists and we'll all go to hell.

I wish to go to Valhalla.

At 9/17/13 09:36 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/17/13 02:36 AM, ragnkinson wrote:

At 9/16/13 10:31 PM, VinnyXY wrote:
I wish someone could teach me something.

Granted, but it's useless.

I wish religion wasn't being such big part of society as it is.

Long version: Your wish is granted. Everyone just says, "fuck religion." Now, since most of the morals and values our laws are based on derive from religion (e. g. not killing, as an easy example), there is nothing left to prevent people from wreaking havoc. And you are among the first to be killed.

Or, for dummies: Now we're all atheists and we'll all go to hell.

I wish to go to Valhalla.

You find yourself in a bar with only a handful of other depressed men between the ages of 38 and 45 with shitty bear and a bartender who's slow witted and boring. But the name of the bar is Valhalla.

I wish I was a slightly chubby female with a decidedly cute face without any heinous deformities and no changes to my mind or personality. Just living a normal boring life.

At 9/17/13 10:02 AM, NeverHundred wrote: I wish I was a slightly chubby female with a decidedly cute face without any heinous deformities and no changes to my mind or personality. Just living a normal boring life.

Granted, but your life is so normal and boring you decide to kill yourself.

I wish my life was more interesting.

At 9/17/13 10:14 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish my life was more interesting.

Granted, you now have above a pit of doom with a rat chewing at the ropes.

I wish for a hot girl sex slave.

At 9/17/13 03:24 PM, Tankdown wrote:

At 9/17/13 10:14 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish my life was more interesting.

Granted, you now have above a pit of doom with a rat chewing at the ropes.

I wish for a hot girl sex slave.

Granted, you get a woman on fire.

I wish I was fire-proof.

At 9/18/13 09:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/17/13 03:24 PM, Tankdown wrote:

At 9/17/13 10:14 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish my life was more interesting.

Granted, you now have above a pit of doom with a rat chewing at the ropes.

I wish for a hot girl sex slave.

Granted, you get a woman on fire.

I wish I was fire-proof.

Granted but the means of being fire proof is that you are resistant to all forms of combustion, unfortunately rust is a type of combustion, and it is also the means that our red blood cells converts oxygen to a usable form. And thus you suffocate.

I wish I could have unprotected sex without any consequences.

At 9/18/13 09:41 AM, NeverHundred wrote: I wish I could have unprotected sex without any consequences.

Granted, after you hack your balls off.

I wish for weed.

At 9/18/13 09:54 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for weed.

Granted, your yard is full of weeds. Naturally everything dies, including you because one evolve into a man eater.

I wish for a I was a master martial artist, and that I can could catch bullets with my bare hands!

At 9/18/13 09:21 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 9/18/13 09:05 PM, Tankdown wrote:

I wish for a I was a master martial artist, and that I can could catch bullets with my bare hands!

Congrats, you're a master at martial arts and can stop bullets up to the size of tank shells. Except you're nerve endings have changed so now every time you hit or stop something you'll feel the pain in your nuts 2x! Enjoy being a pussy...

I wish the next person randomly drops dead...

Granted, I die while trying to rescue you from drowning... I fail to save you and you drown as well.

Silly NewgroundsMike, you should know by now I'm not particularly attached to my genitals. In fact I wish that instead of them I had an amorphous sexual organ in its place that could take any shape I could imagine. It has no effect on the rest of my body. It's sensitive to orgasm, and also sure to satisfy every sexual partner that comes in contact with it. Also immune to venereal diseases and gives of a pheromone that will appeal to the gender that would be the best fit for it's current shape.

At 9/18/13 11:39 PM, Heinrich wrote: I wish for an Xbox!

Okay, Granted..
But you get the ring of death right before you have completed the game you have been slaving over for weeks. (and it doesn't save)

At 9/18/13 11:45 PM, AshleKetchem wrote:

At 9/18/13 11:39 PM, Heinrich wrote: I wish for an Xbox!

Okay, Granted..
But you get the ring of death right before you have completed the game you have been slaving over for weeks. (and it doesn't save)

Damnit I forgot to wish.

I wish for a perfect physique

At 9/18/13 11:48 PM, Heinrich wrote:

At 9/18/13 11:46 PM, AshleKetchem wrote: Damnit I forgot to wish.

I wish for a perfect physique

Wish Granted!

I wish for a slice of carrot cake!

I'm a girl, that's not the perfect body

At 9/18/13 11:58 PM, Heinrich wrote:

At 9/18/13 11:49 PM, AshleKetchem wrote: I'm a girl, that's not the perfect body

Exactly!

I wish there was a wish I could corrupt.

At 9/19/13 08:00 AM, ragnkinson wrote: I wish there was a wish I could corrupt.

Granted, but the wish is so complicated you don't know how to corrupt it.

I wish to finally beat this fucking game!