At 1/19/15 04:30 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that the user below wasn't able to breathe.

Granted. I am a super strong robot who has no need to breathe.

I wish I had uncanny accuracy in throwing tissues into the trash.

At 1/19/15 05:10 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish I had uncanny accuracy in throwing tissues into the trash.

Granted; You are so obsessed with hitting the trash can with a tissue, you waste years on training while neglecting your life. And now you have no friends, no job, no life, but at least you can properly throw a tissue down the trash can.

And that's ALL that matters.

I wish there was a futuristic concert featuring Tupac, Hatsune Miku, Kurt Cobaine, some obscure and extremely edgy Visual-Kei band, PSY and Michael Jackson, all holographic.

At 1/19/15 06:16 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:

I wish there was a futuristic concert featuring Tupac, Hatsune Miku, Kurt Cobaine, some obscure and extremely edgy Visual-Kei band, PSY and Michael Jackson, all holographic.

Granted, but the holograms came to life and killed you.

I wish I could break the law and not get in trouble.

At 1/19/15 07:24 PM, chupacabras89 wrote:
I wish I could break the law and not get in trouble.

Granted. You feel guilty about it and have to live with your guilt for the rest of you life.

I wish that the animatronics from Five Nights at Freddy's & Five Nights at Freddy's 2 were real and that there was a factory dedicated to making more of them.

At 1/19/15 07:33 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 1/19/15 07:24 PM, chupacabras89 wrote:
I wish I could break the law and not get in trouble.

Granted. You feel guilty about it and have to live with your guilt for the rest of you life.

I wish that the animatronics from Five Nights at Freddy's & Five Nights at Freddy's 2 were real and that there was a factory dedicated to making more of them.

Granted, you run that factory and are disappointed by the lack of customers.

I wish for the death of capitalism.

At 1/21/15 05:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 1/19/15 07:33 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 1/19/15 07:24 PM, chupacabras89 wrote:
I wish I could break the law and not get in trouble.

Granted. You feel guilty about it and have to live with your guilt for the rest of you life.

I wish that the animatronics from Five Nights at Freddy's & Five Nights at Freddy's 2 were real and that there was a factory dedicated to making more of them.

Granted, you run that factory and are disappointed by the lack of customers.

I wish for the death of capitalism.

Granted; you travel to North Korea where you're instantly brainwashed into someone who is supposed to kill capitalism itself. And you fail.

I wish "Sonic OC" was officially put into dictionaries as an antonym (opposite) of "Original Character"

At 1/21/15 10:07 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish "Sonic OC" was officially put into dictionaries as an antonym (opposite) of "Original Character"

Granted. No one cares. Seriously.

I wish you didn't think I was too stupid to know what "antonym" meant.

At 1/21/15 01:18 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 1/21/15 10:07 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish "Sonic OC" was officially put into dictionaries as an antonym (opposite) of "Original Character"

Granted. No one cares. Seriously.

I wish you didn't think I was too stupid to know what "antonym" meant.

Granted; Now I think everyone else is too dumb to know what that meant.

I wish the infamous Chris-chan became a mascot of Fanta

At 1/21/15 02:46 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:

I wish the infamous Chris-chan became a mascot of Fanta

Granted. His manic energy re-brands the soda, making it a hit with today's youth. This says horrible things about society.

I wish for a home that can only be navigated through swinging from a grappling hook.

At 1/21/15 09:32 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for a home that can only be navigated through swinging from a grappling hook.

Granted, but the grappling hook that you're using snaps and you fall to your death.

I wish for a real-life Jurassic Park, but on a continental scale.

At 1/22/15 01:08 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 1/21/15 09:32 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for a home that can only be navigated through swinging from a grappling hook.

Granted, but the grappling hook that you're using snaps and you fall to your death.

I wish for a real-life Jurassic Park, but on a continental scale.

Granted, you go there and are eaten by something that totally looks like stafffighter's icon.

I wish for a pet dinosaur that always does as I tell him.

At 1/22/15 09:33 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 1/22/15 01:08 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 1/21/15 09:32 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for a home that can only be navigated through swinging from a grappling hook.

Granted, but the grappling hook that you're using snaps and you fall to your death.

I wish for a real-life Jurassic Park, but on a continental scale.

Granted, you go there and are eaten by something that totally looks like stafffighter's icon.

I wish for a pet dinosaur that always does as I tell him.

Granted; You're given to the cops by your neighbours for sexual abuse of the pet, plus showing off the government secrets by even having a genuine dinosaur as a pet.

I wish Spike the MLP dragon was Godzilla's biggest Fan. (not literally biggest)

At 1/22/15 02:29 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish Spike the MLP dragon was Godzilla's biggest Fan. (not literally biggest)

Granted. Spike is now both figuratively AND literally Godzilla's biggest fan, and he crushes you under his weight.

I wish I had less than 5 exams within the next 2 weeks.

At 1/23/15 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I had less than 5 exams within the next 2 weeks.

Granted, now you have 5 exams within the next 2 weeks plus one day, which technically has less exam/day ratio than the initial quantities.

I wish Half-Life had a storyline of a SUCCESSFUL experiment instead of a world-consuming disaster (and basically became an antimass-spectrometer experiment simulator)

At 1/23/15 11:26 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Half-Life had a storyline of a SUCCESSFUL experiment instead of a world-consuming disaster (and basically became an antimass-spectrometer experiment simulator)

Granted. The game becomes too boring to play as a result.

I wish that the user below was more badass.

At 1/24/15 12:23 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 1/23/15 11:26 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Half-Life had a storyline of a SUCCESSFUL experiment instead of a world-consuming disaster (and basically became an antimass-spectrometer experiment simulator)

Granted. The game becomes too boring to play as a result.

I wish that the user below was more badass.

Granted, but you can't handle my badassness.

I wish the final Top Posters of 2014 list was finally published.

At 1/24/15 10:10 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 1/24/15 09:08 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish the final Top Posters of 2014 list was finally published.

Granted, and you're ranked 100th on it.

I wish censorship didn't exist.

Granted. *******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************.

I wish you'd get what I was trying to say.

At 1/24/15 10:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish you'd get what I was trying to say.

Granted, but it isn't funny.

I wish I never had to wash my clothes.

At 1/24/15 11:34 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 1/24/15 10:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish you'd get what I was trying to say.

Granted, but it isn't funny.

I wish I never had to wash my clothes.

Granted, all clothes are officially banned.

I wish Patrick Star ended up in the Matrix

At 1/24/15 12:08 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish Patrick Star ended up in the Matrix

Granted, he ends up in a bar called "The Matrix" and drinks himself to death.

I wish for Morpheus's sunglasses.

At 1/25/15 09:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, he ends up in a bar called "The Matrix" and drinks himself to death.

I wish for Morpheus's sunglasses.

Granted, but soon a bunch of people in black mistake you for Morpheus and beat the crap out of you.

I wish I had a Matrix-themed bar :D

At 1/25/15 09:40 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish I had a Matrix-themed bar :D

Granted, but you don't make any profit because everyone who pays is just an illusion.

I wish I was paid.

At 1/25/15 09:45 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 1/25/15 09:40 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish I had a Matrix-themed bar :D

Granted, but you don't make any profit because everyone who pays is just an illusion.

I wish I was paid.

Granted, but your boss just happens to be Bernard from Black Books, and he is largely dissatisfied with your work.
Let me quote his message...

Bernard: GET AWAY FROM ME! It was a thrill to recreate with you, but now our association ends! You have brought nothing but pain, penury and strife into my days! I wish you good fortune in whatever avenue of life you assault with your presence. Here's your redundancy package: I'm sorry it's mostly in Phrenobian wooden dollars but that's largely your fault! Now, good luck and goodbye!

Aaand then you're fired.

I wish Hank Hill ended up in Family Guy

At 1/25/15 10:07 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish Hank Hill ended up in Family Guy

Granted, but then it retcons King Of The Hill as being in the same Universe, meaning that talking dogs are in the same Universe as Family Guy and Mike Judge accidentally created something supernatural in his show, which he hates.

I wish for a lifetime supply of milk.

At 1/25/15 10:26 AM, Ericho wrote:

I wish for a lifetime supply of milk.

Granted, but you're now lactose intolerant.

I wish I had a new car.

At 1/25/15 12:40 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote: I wish for a website that is a better alternative to the Wayback Machine that archives pages every day and saves a copy of each HTML, since I have been looking for an alternative for the past 15 minutes with no luck.

Granted, the website exists, but you can spend your entire life looking for it, you'll never find it.

I wish AquaWatermelons would quote correctly.

At 1/25/15 12:54 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish AquaWatermelons would quote correctly.

Granted. Not much happens and life continues on as usual.

I wish that the user below got sucked into a black hole.

At 1/25/15 07:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that the user below got sucked into a black hole.

Granted. I guest star on Spoony's "black hole of board games" show and not only do we become friends but I get plugged into the internet review community and achieve fame, meaning someone recognizes me at a con one time.

I wish everyone on earth had a high quality hammer.

At 1/25/15 07:10 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish everyone on earth had a high quality hammer.

Granted. A new sport is created that involves hitting each other in the head with a high quality hammer, essentially making most of humanity brain-dead as a result.

I wish I was the Earth itself.

At 1/25/15 07:13 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish I was the Earth itself.

Granted *sprays an aerosol can while flipping you off.*

I wish milkshakes were incredibly affordable, healthy and delicious