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At 9/20/14 06:03 AM, AquaWatermelons wrote: Granted. They are all replaced by spammer who fill people's e-mail accounts with spam, including tinned spam.
I wish for Ray Part 3 to come out, South Park style.

Granted, but no one except for you thinks the South Park style actually fits it.

I wish for the real Pico 2 to come out.

At 9/20/14 10:21 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for the real Pico 2 to come out.

Granted. It comes out 2167 AD, have fun.

I wish for the time.

At 9/20/14 10:28 AM, NGPulp wrote:

At 9/20/14 10:21 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for the real Pico 2 to come out.

Granted. It comes out 2167 AD, have fun.

I wish for the time.

Granted, you get the Time magazine.

I wish to know what language the link in NGPulp's sig is in and what it means.

At 9/20/14 10:38 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to know what language the link in NGPulp's sig is in and what it means.

Granted. You travel far and wide to search for the ancient Runes that contain the meaning of this phrase-- but you are suddenly stopped by Gort; who, teleported out of nowhere, and you're soon killed.

I wish for there to be more B-Movies around.

At 9/20/14 10:50 AM, NGPulp wrote:

At 9/20/14 10:38 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to know what language the link in NGPulp's sig is in and what it means.

Granted. You travel far and wide to search for the ancient Runes that contain the meaning of this phrase-- but you are suddenly stopped by Gort; who, teleported out of nowhere, and you're soon killed.

I wish for there to be more B-Movies around.

Granted, but the A-Movies completely cease their existence.

I wish for there to be no more absolutely crappy movies.

At 9/20/14 10:54 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for there to be no more absolutely crappy movies.

Granted, but now the movies are so good you don't have enough money to pay to see them all.

I wish there were no wisdom teeth.

At 9/20/14 11:50 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish there were no wisdom teeth.

Granted, but now there's no wisdom either.

I apologize for this crap, but I couldn't think of anything better.

I wish for wisdom.

At 9/20/14 12:42 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/20/14 11:50 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish there were no wisdom teeth.

Granted, but now there's no wisdom either.

I apologize for this crap, but I couldn't think of anything better.

I wish for wisdom.

Granted, you get perfect wisdom. Unfortunately the knowledge of all things leads you to great despair and isolation from humanity. Knowing all the problems and the solutions without the power to affect any of it is an awful fate.

I wish I was a Pecan.

At 9/20/14 09:37 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I was a Pecan.

I don't know why you'd wish to be a tree, so I'll just grant this.

I wish for stuff.

At 9/21/14 06:10 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for stuff.

Granted. You get the following stuff: Cancer, AIDS, lice, a tape worm, down syndrome, baldness, an old car that won't start, and a half-empty bag of gummy worms.

I wish for my penis to grow 4 inches in 4 weeks.

At 9/21/14 06:30 AM, Jojo55 wrote:

At 9/21/14 06:10 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for stuff.

Granted. You get the following stuff: Cancer,

Fuck.

AIDS,

Fuck.

lice,

Fuck.

a tape worm,

Fuck.

down syndrome,

Mother of all fucks.

baldness,

Never worrying about my hair again, woohoo!

an old car that won't start,

Have that one already.

and a half-empty bag of gummy worms.

Still better than nothing.

I wish for my penis to grow 4 inches in 4 weeks.

Granted, now it doesn't fit into your pants any more and eventually you are arrested for sexual harassment.

I wish for a full bag of gummy worms.

At 9/21/14 06:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a full bag of gummy worms.

Granted, but the bag was full of live worms before I put the gummies in.

I wish for nothing.

At 9/21/14 08:01 AM, Jojo55 wrote:
I wish for nothing.

Granted. Everything you know has been divided by zero and you are left with nothing but an existence of nothingness. You become acquainted with an eternity of a silence worse than silence, a void darker than blackness, and the only scent is of your own. The only sound is your own...every blood vessel flowing, every inner undulation your body makes is grotesquely loud compared to the void around you. Even your eyes blinking becomes as audible as a nearby door shutting and opening again. You are not standing, but you are floating...and to accommodate this new hell, you're somehow able to breathe...but from what, you do not know...you are stuck here until you eventually starve or dehydrate to death.

I wish I didn't eat that entire bag of chips by myself just then.

At 9/21/14 08:01 AM, Jojo55 wrote: I wish for nothing.

Granted, everything ceases to exist, so all that is left is nothing.

I wish I had Godzilla as I pet, and I could talk to him psychically.

At 9/21/14 08:48 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 9/21/14 08:01 AM, Jojo55 wrote:
I wish for nothing.

Granted. Everything you know has been divided by zero and you are left with nothing but an existence of nothingness. You become acquainted with an eternity of a silence worse than silence, a void darker than blackness, and the only scent is of your own. The only sound is your own...every blood vessel flowing, every inner undulation your body makes is grotesquely loud compared to the void around you. Even your eyes blinking becomes as audible as a nearby door shutting and opening again. You are not standing, but you are floating...and to accommodate this new hell, you're somehow able to breathe...but from what, you do not know...you are stuck here until you eventually starve or dehydrate to death.

I wish I didn't eat that entire bag of chips by myself just then.

Granted, you travel back in time to stop yourself from eating that entire bag of chips just then, but when you come across yourself, and warn yourself, a time paradox occurs, and your brain is so overwhelmed by the vortex of time undoing itself that it cooks inside of your head.

See wish above.

At 9/21/14 08:54 AM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:
I wish I had Godzilla as I pet, and I could talk to him psychically.

Granted, but just because you can physically talk to him does not make the monster obligated to listen. Moreover, just standing within close proximity of him gives you a lethal dose of radiation poisoning, and the more you pursue him, the more years you shave off of your life.

I wish all humans were immune to the effects of radiation, both cosmic and man-made.

At 9/21/14 09:02 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish all humans were immune to the effects of radiation, both cosmic and man-made.

Granted, we then go nuts on the stuff. While it does lead to some pretty astounding inventions, it leads to the deterioration of the environment-- species that aren't immune obviously die and the whole stack of cards comes crashing down, man.

I wish more people would relax.

At 9/21/14 09:50 AM, NGPulp wrote:
I wish more people would relax.

Granted. Aside from the obvious "too many people are relaxing so lazily that nothing gets done" corruption, they ALSO relax so hard that they shit themselves, or fall asleep behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

I wish the rec center I go to was open 24 hours.

At 9/21/14 10:11 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish the rec center I go to was open 24 hours.

Granted, but everything else closes forever.

I wish for my cousin's band to become world-famous.

At 9/20/14 10:21 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/20/14 06:03 AM, AquaWatermelons wrote: Granted. They are all replaced by spammer who fill people's e-mail accounts with spam, including tinned spam.
I wish for Ray Part 3 to come out, South Park style.

Granted, but no one except for you thinks the South Park style actually fits it.

I wish for the real Pico 2 to come out.

Granted. The game doesn't work on your computer
I wish for a throne to sit on.

At 9/21/14 03:33 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote:
I wish for a throne to sit on.

Granted.

At 9/21/14 04:00 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 9/21/14 03:33 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote:
I wish for a throne to sit on.

Granted.

I wish I got the job that I was interviewed for last Friday.

At 9/21/14 04:01 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 9/21/14 04:00 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 9/21/14 03:33 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote:
I wish for a throne to sit on.

Granted.

I wish I got the job that I was interviewed for last Friday.

Granted, unfortunately when you come in you wind up signing a contract that somehow legally allows them to pay you less than minimum wage and prevents you from leaving the job for a period of no less than 100 years. Enjoy!

I wish I contained chlorophyll, like a tree.

At 9/21/14 06:13 PM, SentForMe wrote:

Granted, unfortunately when you come in you wind up signing a contract that somehow legally allows them to pay you less than minimum wage and prevents you from leaving the job for a period of no less than 100 years. Enjoy!

I wish I contained chlorophyll, like a tree.

Granted, except I didn't do biology at school so you get hydrophobic acid instead, killing you, sorry bout that

I wish that Sylvester Stallone spoke English and not mumble

At 9/21/14 06:52 PM, thespazicat wrote:

At 9/21/14 06:13 PM, SentForMe wrote:

Granted, except I didn't do biology at school so you get hydrophobic acid instead, killing you, sorry bout that

*hydrochloric acid

At 9/21/14 06:52 PM, thespazicat wrote:

At 9/21/14 06:13 PM, SentForMe wrote:

Granted, unfortunately when you come in you wind up signing a contract that somehow legally allows them to pay you less than minimum wage and prevents you from leaving the job for a period of no less than 100 years. Enjoy!

I wish I contained chlorophyll, like a tree.

Granted, except I didn't do biology at school so you get hydrochloric acid instead, killing you, sorry bout that

But...but thats not the same thing at all.

You could've done a lot with that, making him a tree-man / Ent or something, but you just completely dropped his wish.

I wish that Sylvester Stallone spoke English and not mumble

Granted, but now everybody mumbles even worse in a language you can't understand. You have a unique brain disorder where everybody sounds like unintelligible mush-mouth when they speak...EXCEPT for Stallone and sometimes Ozzy Osbourne.

I wish I could hang out and have a good time for an entire day with Ozzy Osbourne.

At 9/21/14 07:10 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish I could hang out and have a good time for an entire day with Ozzy Osbourne.

Granted, unfortunately he didn't bring any drugs so it was an "ok time" rather than a good one

I wish to time travel back to the 70's and see bon scott perform with ac/dc live

At 9/21/14 07:14 PM, thespazicat wrote:
I wish to time travel back to the 70's and see bon scott perform with ac/dc live

Granted, you go to the concert see bon scott and ac/dc and enjoy yourself a lot. Unfortunately before you step back in your time machine to go back to the present you realize that there's a warning sign there you didn't notice before. It says that however many years you back and forward in time will be added onto your age when you go forward in time. Since the concert happened in 1977, going forward in time would mean adding 37 years onto your age. Now you have to decide if you want to stay in the past and leaves all your friends and family behind or go into the future and be that much older when you get there.

I wish that tomorrow was opposite day.

At 9/22/14 12:08 AM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish that tomorrow was opposite day.

Granted, but it turns out to be the opposite of opposite day.

I wish that dragons were real.

At 9/22/14 06:20 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that dragons were real.

Granted, the world descends into chaos, and becomes a Fire Emblem-esque reality. Unfortunately for you, you don't live long enough to see that happen.

I wish that I had less schoolwork.