At 8/29/15 03:46 PM, Copywrong wrote:
I wish for an end to all corruption in this world.

Granted. An alien invasion abducts every last human being, transporting us all to their home world, where we remain enslaved, diseased, and dying for the rest of our recorded history. Meanwhile, the Earth regrows to its former fervor, and after the last building crumbles, even natural decay is ceased for a world sunlit and pleasant. Incorruptible, beautiful, but never to be seen by man or their corruptive tendencies.

I wish that the only thing different about my life from before I made this wish was that I was immune to being drunk and hungover.

At 8/31/15 03:10 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 8/29/15 03:46 PM, Copywrong wrote:
I wish for an end to all corruption in this world.

Granted. An alien invasion abducts every last human being, transporting us all to their home world, where we remain enslaved, diseased, and dying for the rest of our recorded history. Meanwhile, the Earth regrows to its former fervor, and after the last building crumbles, even natural decay is ceased for a world sunlit and pleasant. Incorruptible, beautiful, but never to be seen by man or their corruptive tendencies.

I wish that the only thing different about my life from before I made this wish was that I was immune to being drunk and hungover.

Granted, put you're still enslaved to that alien race.

I wish that Donald Trump won the presidency for the U.S. (I'm not exactly rooting for him, by the way. I'm neutral on whoever wins)

At 9/1/15 08:27 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that Donald Trump won the presidency for the U.S. (I'm not exactly rooting for him, by the way. I'm neutral on whoever wins)

Granted. It turns put his anti immahration platform was an elaborate ruse to have himself technically considered native american. He immidiatly resigns the office to open casinos and whatever train wreck ended up as his vice president pretty much burns the country down, but without any awkward quirks for stand up comics to skewer.

I wish that urban legend about spiders crawling in your mouth while you sleep was true just to see vegans freaking the fuck out.

At 9/1/15 09:06 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish that urban legend about spiders crawling in your mouth while you sleep was true just to see vegans freaking the fuck out.

Granted. A disease that only spiders have gets carried on to humans as a result.

I wish that there was no such thing as free will.

At 9/2/15 10:52 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:
I wish that there was no such thing as free will.

Granted. The small amount of difference this makes in your life is flabergasting.

I Wish for concentual marriage of adult monkeys to be made legal.

At 9/2/15 04:24 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I Wish for concentual marriage of adult monkeys to be made legal.

Granted. However monkeys don't have any idea of the meaning of the term "legal", and carry on with their normal lives.

I wish that there was no such thing as money so that anyone can take whatever they want without having to worry about paying for it.

At 9/2/15 11:40 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that there was no such thing as money so that anyone can take whatever they want without having to worry about paying for it.

Granted. Tribal pillaging is the new form of commerce. Only the hard survive and your cheeto filled ass will not protect you from the raiders.

I wish for slightly more swords than I already own.

At 9/3/15 08:50 PM, Cordyceps wrote: I wish this shitty thread was locked

Granted,but somebody has to find the secret key to do it.
I wish everybody was bald.

At 9/3/15 08:53 PM, OutlawBringer wrote:

At 9/3/15 08:50 PM, Cordyceps wrote: I wish this shitty thread was locked

Granted,but somebody has to find the secret key to do it.
I wish everybody was bald.

Granted. Life goes on as usual besides having bald heads.

At 9/3/15 08:50 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 9/3/15 08:39 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for slightly more swords than I already own.

Granted, but you accidentally cut your hand off.

I wish I was skilled in marksmanship.

Granted. A sniper kills you out of jealousy.

I wish that everyone was anthropomorphic hallucinogenic mushrooms.

At 9/4/15 12:26 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that everyone was anthropomorphic hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Granted, we all get high off each other.

I wish not to get banned for reviving this.

At 9/7/15 01:22 PM, PoundDotBlam wrote:

I wish that my wish would not be corrupted.

Granted. You get corrupted instead and became a greedy politician that everybody hates.

I wish that all politics, religion, and porn were suddenly gone.

At 9/7/15 01:44 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:
Granted. You get corrupted instead and became a greedy politician that everybody hates.

I wish that all politics, religion, and porn were suddenly gone.

Granted, everyone on earth banishes you to the Moon for taking away their porn.

I wish teleportation was a thing.

At 9/7/15 01:51 PM, Vinnyy wrote:
I wish "nerd" was still an insult.

Granted. NERD!

At 9/7/15 01:51 PM, ChazDude wrote:
I wish teleportation was a thing.

Granted. I teleport 50 angry hornet nests to your current location, and then I teleport 100 galleons of honey to fill your home and then I teleport 10 Ussuri Brown Bears to your home.

I wish that flatulence was an alternative fuel for vehicles.

At 9/7/15 06:02 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:
I wish that flatulence was an alternative fuel for vehicles.

Granted. This leads to an industry and culture in which people walk around pant less while carrying balloons to catch their flatulence for their later commute. All sexual mystique is destroyed and the population dwindles

I wish for prison cells to take the form of hot air balloons hung hundreds of feet in the air with the inboard controls removed to prevent escape.

At 9/7/15 06:15 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for prison cells to take the form of hot air balloons hung hundreds of feet in the air with the inboard controls removed to prevent escape.

Granted, but when the inmates are due to be released, they fall out and die.

I wish it was warmer in here.

At 9/8/15 09:11 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish it was warmer in here.

Granted. It's now a literal Hell on Earth.

I wish all music was rock music.

At 9/8/15 12:05 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish all music was rock music.

Granted, Heavy Metal fans are rioting outside

I wish the "Caps lock" button was removed.

At 9/8/15 12:18 PM, TheRecklessKnight wrote:
I wish the "Caps lock" button was removed.

Granted. Every button on the keyboard has been removed.

I wish that your favorite celebrity who's alive right now suddenly died.

At 9/8/15 12:05 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 9/8/15 09:11 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish it was warmer in here.

Granted. It's now a literal Hell on Earth.

I wish all music was rock music.

Granted. We've died and gone to heaven.

I wish I could get tickets for a sold-out concert of my choice.

Fuck it, I'm blind.

At 9/8/15 01:27 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that your favorite celebrity who's alive right now suddenly died.

Granted. I blame you for it and seek revenge.

See my wish above.

At 9/8/15 01:33 PM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish I could get tickets for a sold-out concert of my choice.

Granted. I shoot you dead and gain your power.

I wish that all music concerts were permanently cancelled.

At 9/8/15 03:08 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 9/8/15 01:33 PM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish I could get tickets for a sold-out concert of my choice.

Granted. I shoot you dead and gain your power.

I wish that all music concerts were permanently cancelled.

Granted; Thanks to the copyright law makers, the music concerts are now illegal because Fuck You. And everyone participating (everyone including guests, managers and the musicians) are caught, have their nutz kicked by Chuck Norris personally right before the strictly-enforced RickRoll.

I wish Teen Titans GO would have a 9/11 joke or something on top of all the other bullshit it has already...

At 9/8/15 03:29 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Teen Titans GO would have a 9/11 joke or something on top of all the other bullshit it has already...

Granted. Teen Titans GO gets cancelled while the previous Teen Titans series gets rebooted.

I wish that all knives got replaced with lightsabers.

At 9/8/15 03:33 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 9/8/15 03:29 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Teen Titans GO would have a 9/11 joke or something on top of all the other bullshit it has already...

Granted. Teen Titans GO gets cancelled while the previous Teen Titans series gets rebooted.

I wish that all knives got replaced with lightsabers.

Granted; The selling rates of batteries have skyrocketed since now you need like seven C batteries just to cut some bread.

I wish Political Correctness wasn't going so mad and insane these days...

At 9/8/15 03:39 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Political Correctness wasn't going so mad and insane these days...

Granted. Now everything but political correctness is mad and insane.

I wish that Facebook and Twitter didn't exist.

At 9/8/15 05:06 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that Facebook and Twitter didn't exist.

Granted, but something even more data-collecting and otherwise ultimately meaningless takes their place as the weapon the idiots will use against us when they realize we're outnumbered.

I wish the idiots didn't outnumber us.

At 9/9/15 08:50 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish the idiots didn't outnumber us.

Granted, the world is full of smart people

I wish all the cars in the world would be destroyed.

At 9/9/15 09:03 AM, TheRecklessKnight wrote:

At 9/9/15 08:50 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish the idiots didn't outnumber us.

Granted, the world is full of smart people

I wish all the cars in the world would be destroyed.

Granted, we go back to riding horses that shit everywhere.

I wish people cared more about green energy.

At 9/9/15 09:07 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish people cared more about green energy.

Granted,the blue energy is crying in the corner

I wish everybody wore medieval armor

At 9/9/15 09:11 AM, TheRecklessKnight wrote:

At 9/9/15 09:07 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish people cared more about green energy.

Granted,the blue energy is crying in the corner

I wish everybody wore medieval armor

Granted, it's heavy as fuck and no one can move.

I wish for someone to count how often I curse on here.