At 12/21/14 11:45 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I was born 100 years later.

Granted, however within 100 years, the world turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. You don't want to be born into that.

I wish for something completely different.

At 12/21/14 01:00 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/21/14 11:45 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I was born 100 years later.

Granted, however within 100 years, the world turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. You don't want to be born into that.

I wish for something completely different.

Granted, but in turn your wish destroys the balance between original and knock off
and your wish becomes as generic as can be.

I wish I could cure the world of cancer

At 12/22/14 12:21 AM, Maltos wrote:
I wish I could cure the world of cancer

Granted. An AIDS pandemic starts and it becomes airborne. People are no longer worried about cancer.

I wish the weather in MN didn't go against logic.

It's below freezing, yet it has been raining all day! WTF?

At 12/22/14 01:03 AM, WaveTwister wrote:

At 12/22/14 12:57 AM, cga-999 wrote:
I wish the weather in MN didn't go against logic.

Global warming takes effect, and MN gets destroyed by a tornado.

I wish for a wet sock!

Granted, but it dries quickly.

I wish MS paint would stop glitching up for me.

At 12/22/14 01:05 AM, cga-999 wrote: I wish MS paint would stop glitching up for me.

Granted, it disappears into nowhere, never to return.

I wish you'd use something better.

At 12/22/14 01:38 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/22/14 01:05 AM, cga-999 wrote: I wish MS paint would stop glitching up for me.

Granted, it disappears into nowhere, never to return.

I wish you'd use something better.

Granted, he steals your money to buy a copy of Photoshop.

I wish for a devide that can transform from a tiny box into a working helicopter

At 12/22/14 03:33 PM, glazov123 wrote:

At 12/22/14 01:38 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/22/14 01:05 AM, cga-999 wrote: I wish MS paint would stop glitching up for me.

Granted, it disappears into nowhere, never to return.

I wish you'd use something better.

Granted, he steals your money to buy a copy of Photoshop.

I wish for a devide that can transform from a tiny box into a working helicopter

But that helicopter is also tiny, so unless you have a pet gerbil it's useless. I wish I had a smaller penis

At 12/22/14 05:12 PM, Right-wing-hero wrote:

But that helicopter is also tiny, so unless you have a pet gerbil it's useless. I wish I had a smaller penis

Granted. You're sent to stop the sexy ladies with glasses and tasteful tattoos from setting off their nuclear arsenal. Not considering themselves unkind they even allow you a bathroom break before explaining their nefarious method. You soon come to realize that they left your fly down put your cage 6 inches away from the deactivation button. Your arms are bound. If there was just some way? No, there's not, you doomed us all.

I wish every toy and collectible I have actually was the thing it represents.

At 12/22/14 06:47 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 12/22/14 05:12 PM, Right-wing-hero wrote:

But that helicopter is also tiny, so unless you have a pet gerbil it's useless. I wish I had a smaller penis

Granted. You're sent to stop the sexy ladies with glasses and tasteful tattoos from setting off their nuclear arsenal. Not considering themselves unkind they even allow you a bathroom break before explaining their nefarious method. You soon come to realize that they left your fly down put your cage 6 inches away from the deactivation button. Your arms are bound. If there was just some way? No, there's not, you doomed us all.

I wish every toy and collectible I have actually was the thing it represents.

Granted. Too bad most of the stuff happens to be crappy childish-looking cars of ridiculous colors and a bunch of homos in latex Batman costumes. And Sanic.

I wish mushrooms actually granted a life

At 12/22/14 06:47 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish every toy and collectible I have actually was the thing it represents.

Granted. You own some dinosaur toys, right?

I wish for everyone within a 5-mile radius to get an orgasm.

At 12/22/14 07:33 PM, NGPulp wrote:
I wish for everyone within a 5-mile radius to get an orgasm.

Granted, but they don't stop ejaculating...they cum themselves to death, which in all honesty, is probably the best way to go possible... unfortunately, this includes children, babies, pets, they all jizz to death in a 5 mile radius from yourself...you get one big orgasm, but by being the only survivor in this strange mass-death, you are held accountable for this witchcraft. Having no solid evidence to pin it on you, rabid religious grievers come for you in the middle of the night for swift and brutal, hyper-violent street justice.

I wish to be healed to 100% health after every night.

At 12/22/14 07:51 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish to be healed to 100% health after every night.

Granted but a huge 7 foot black guy named Bubba rapes you in the ass and you die. It turns out your health regeneration stops after you get raped in the ass by a huge 7 foot black guy named Bubba.

I wish that I can get a six pack and impress all the ladies.

At 12/22/14 10:54 PM, BobsBurgers2011 wrote:
I wish that I can get a six pack and impress all the ladies.

Granted. It's a six-pack of bottled urine.

I wish that all of your waifus lived with you.

At 12/23/14 07:36 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:
I wish that all of your waifus lived with you.

Granted. He has none, officially, so he's alone. But the technicalities of the wish somehow curse his love life, right up until the point that you meet the perfect companion, The One....and after she/he learns of the corrupted wish that befell @BobsBurgers2011, the love of your life leaves you for him. Nobody else will possibly match their beauty, charisma, intelligence, and talent ever again, and you dwell and lament about the loss for the rest of your days. If you ever have kids, you will find a way to work that guilt and baggage often into daily conversations, sometimes multiple times a day, and this will actively drive your family away from you...you'll wonder obliviously, as an aging old man, why you became so alone. Surrounded by family that make you feel alone... and you somehow blame yourself for it every day, even though its not your fault. It was never your fault...but the grief of losing your soulmate to BobsBurgers2011 will be your defining trait in the last half of your life. The lasting echo to your memory...among your most prominent, intimate scars.

I wish everybody has a happy and safe New Years celebration for this coming New Years Eve!

At 12/22/14 07:31 PM, glazov123 wrote: I wish mushrooms actually granted a life

Granted, but only green mushrooms do. Good luck finding one.

At 12/23/14 08:21 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish everybody has a happy and safe New Years celebration for this coming New Years Eve!

Granted, but everyone will die on January 2nd.

I wish happiness didn't make me mad.

At 12/23/14 09:57 AM, FiendMachine wrote: I wish my parents would ask me if I didn't get hit by a truck or something on the way instead of asking how the school test was like.

Granted. Then you fail the school test, AND you get hit by a truck on your way home.

I wish I could drive a truck.

At 12/23/14 09:59 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 09:57 AM, FiendMachine wrote: I wish my parents would ask me if I didn't get hit by a truck or something on the way instead of asking how the school test was like.

Granted. Then you fail the school test, AND you get hit by a truck on your way home.

I wish I could drive a truck.

Granted, you can drive one of those little truck rides for kids that are often found at malls that gives you a little "ride" for a few coins. You can drive it withoug being accused of being a pedophile.

I wish Twilight vampires would stop sparkling like disco balls when in direct sunlight

At 12/23/14 10:38 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish Twilight vampires would stop sparkling like disco balls when in direct sunlight

Granted, instead they make like regular vampires and instantly burn to the ground when in direct sunlight, bringing extreme grief to millions of 13-year-old girls worldwide and causing mass suicides. Thanks, asshole.

No, seriously. Thanks.

I wish Twilight had never existed.

At 12/23/14 10:44 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 10:38 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish Twilight vampires would stop sparkling like disco balls when in direct sunlight

Granted, instead they make like regular vampires and instantly burn to the ground when in direct sunlight, bringing extreme grief to millions of 13-year-old girls worldwide and causing mass suicides. Thanks, asshole.

No, seriously. Thanks.

I wish Twilight had never existed.

Granted; Arnold Schwarzne- erm... I mean the Terminator has been sent to 80's in order to destroy the one who came up with Twilight Sparkle character. But the Terminator got bored and decapitated Stephenie Meyer (creator of THE Twilight saga, the one with vampires) instead just 4 lulz.

I wish sanic hegehog would replace Sonic the Hedgehog

At 12/23/14 10:49 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish sanic hegehog would replace Sonic the Hedgehog

Granted. Not much changes, except for the spelling.

I wish Schwarzenegger would still become President of the US.

At 12/23/14 10:54 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 10:49 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish sanic hegehog would replace Sonic the Hedgehog

Granted. Not much changes, except for the spelling.

I wish Schwarzenegger would still become President of the US.

Granted, and somehow, that causes the foundation of Skynet that is the entire reason for the war between humans and robots.

I wish King Harkinian wasn't so obsessed with DINNER

At 12/23/14 11:00 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish King Harkinian wasn't so obsessed with DINNER

Granted, now you're obsessed with dinner instead.

I wish for dinner.

At 12/23/14 11:01 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for dinner.

Granted. I'm your dinner.

I wish that Nikki Benz was your roommate.

At 12/23/14 11:05 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 12/23/14 11:01 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for dinner.

Granted. I'm your dinner.

OK.

I wish that Nikki Benz was your roommate.

Granted, a random person by that name is my roommate.

I wish to know who the fuck you're talking about.

At 12/23/14 11:12 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 11:05 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 12/23/14 11:01 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for dinner.

Granted. I'm your dinner.

OK.

I wish that Nikki Benz was your roommate.

Granted, a random person by that name is my roommate.

I wish to know who the fuck you're talking about.

Granted; It's a person that was, due to a horrible mistake, acquitted of mass murder, cannibalism, gun traffic and jaywalking.

I wish Derpy was my friend

At 12/23/14 11:12 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish that Nikki Benz was your roommate.

Granted, a random person by that name is my roommate.

I wish to know who the fuck you're talking about.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikki_Benz

At 12/23/14 11:32 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish Derpy was my friend

Granted, he's the only friend you'll ever have.

I wish @TheGamechanger was a porn star.

At 12/23/14 12:53 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 11:32 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish Derpy was my friend

Granted, he's the only friend you'll ever have.

I wish @TheGamechanger was a porn star.

Granted. I'm a food porn star.

I wish that the user below was a fleshlight.

At 12/23/14 12:56 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that the user below was a fleshlight.

Granted, but I belong to the Wade.

I wish Tom's official title was "The Tom Fulp of Newgrounds".

Because founder, CEO or whatever is just lame.

At 12/23/14 01:00 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 12/23/14 12:56 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that the user below was a fleshlight.

Granted, but I belong to the Wade.

I wish Tom's official title was "The Tom Fulp of Newgrounds".

Because founder, CEO or whatever is just lame.

Granted, now anyone whose name just happens to be "Tom Fulp", even an NG office janitor, can become "The Tom Fulp of Newgrounds".

I wish Runescape was still awesome and cool, instead of evolving into yet another World of Warcrack clone