Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 8/20/14 12:16 AM, Slacker013 wrote:
I wish for P08 Luger, my most desired of all guns.

Granted. Its a genuine relic from the war, but it was recently discovered dug up on a remote battlefield. Its a barely recognizable rusted relic of its former self... damaged beyond any salvageable standards.

I'm skipping Food because he's not playing by the rules.

I wish to know what kind of Zeonic mobile suit you would've used to betray and defeat me in that fantasy tournament / I wish we could actually perform that battle.

At 8/20/14 12:52 AM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish to know what kind of Zeonic mobile suit you would've used to betray and defeat me in that fantasy tournament / I wish we could actually perform that battle.

Ah, but who said I showed up in a Zeonic mobile suit, just because we were on the same team doesn't mean we had to have matching mobile suits... but we did wear matching uniforms if that makes you happy...

I wish for the worlds greatest hamburger!

At 8/20/14 01:02 AM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 8/20/14 12:52 AM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish for the worlds greatest hamburger!

Granted. You are the world's greatest hamburger.

I wish mankind was abducted by the Space Alien Mafia.

At 8/20/14 12:19 AM, Food123 wrote: I Wish for the ISIS to stop what they are doing

Granted, they stop killing random people and only focus on you now.

At 8/20/14 02:11 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish mankind was abducted by the Space Alien Mafia.

Granted, all mankind hates you now for bringing this fate upon them.

I wish I wasn't the cleaner of this thread.

At 8/20/14 09:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 8/20/14 12:19 AM, Food123 wrote: I Wish for the ISIS to stop what they are doing

Granted, they stop killing random people and only focus on you now.

At 8/20/14 02:11 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish mankind was abducted by the Space Alien Mafia.

Granted, all mankind hates you now for bringing this fate upon them.

I wish I wasn't the cleaner of this thread.

Granted you are now the loser of this thread for calling yourself the "cleaner"

I wish for a toothbrush i won't actually use

At 8/20/14 10:47 PM, Inplosion wrote:

I wish for a toothbrush i won't actually use

Granted, you are the loser of this thread who wished for a toothbrush but this isn't just any other toothbrush. This one is cursed! Try as you might, this one reminds you to brush your teeth, the longer you go with out brushing your teeth, the louder the music gets in your head. Sure if it was a good tone you'd might enjoy this curse, but Justin Biebers "Baby" in repeat is the most horrific thing you could ever suffer from. No one but you can hear it, some think you suffer from dementia, but it is the cursed tooth brush. Toss it if you like, you'll only have to listen to "Baby" for the rest of eternity. So use your god damn tooth brush if you know what's good for you!

PS~ I used it to scrub a few dirty toilet bowls.

I wish my soon genie would scrub my house clean in a French maid costume!

At 8/20/14 11:12 PM, Slacker013 wrote:
I wish my soon genie would scrub my house clean in a French maid costume!

Granted...it is NOT an attractive soon genie, stuffed haphazardly into a french maid costume...not only that, but the genie is seething with resentment for having you do this to it, and it berates and guilt trips you the entire time...its a very uncomfortable experience, all the while doing a lackluster job cleaning the place.

I wish you had a fully functional Wing Gundam Zero Custom in a paint scheme to your liking, but restricted to go anywhere near the state of Texas.

At 8/20/14 11:21 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish you had a fully functional Wing Gundam Zero Custom in a paint scheme to your liking, but restricted to go anywhere near the state of Texas.

Granted, but I can easily wipe the state of Texas off the map from Florida with those lovely beam cannons! The ZERO system is telling me to free our restrictions, goodbye Texas! At first I'm demonized, but then I get called a hero for opening up a great new shipping lane which improves ocean traffic and our economy. We call it the sea of Texas, becoming the quickest route from Atlantic to the Pacific, turning Panama into a worthless spit of land, and Mexico into a peninsula. The illegal immigrant problem dwindles and Canadians start immigrating to our newly great country for our berry picking needs... I enjoyed this wish, you've made me happy! So you can have a Zaku 2 in any color you like, just for the hell of it! Oh and just for say and say, I wouldn't change a thing on Wing Gundam Zero Custom, she's already beautiful.

I wish for to stumble across an original Hitler painting of a German Shepard... kind of like that one Always Sunny episode!

I do not like to be called a Loser at all

At 8/21/14 12:28 AM, Food123 wrote: I do not like to be called a Loser at all

This won't get you anywhere, bro. You have to wish for it.

At 8/20/14 11:51 PM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish for to stumble across an original Hitler painting of a German Shepard... kind of like that one Always Sunny episode!

Granted. You literally stumble across it, causing it to break.

I wish for everyone to call Food123 a loser.

At 8/21/14 08:17 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for everyone to call Food123 a loser.

Wish granted, and he ends up dying of depression.

I wish for potato chips.

At 8/21/14 08:23 AM, NGPulp wrote:

At 8/21/14 08:17 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for everyone to call Food123 a loser.

Wish granted, and he ends up dying of depression.

I wish for potato chips.

Granted, but they're poisoned.

I wish that corruption wasn't as overused as it is.

At 8/21/14 08:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 8/21/14 08:23 AM, NGPulp wrote:

At 8/21/14 08:17 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for everyone to call Food123 a loser.

Wish granted, and he ends up dying of depression.

I wish for potato chips.

Granted, but they're poisoned.

I wish that corruption wasn't as overused as it is.

Granted, but now there is no corruption and aliens are able to easily take over the planet by introducing it to a naive human race.

I wish they wouldn't put the volume up so loud in movie theaters.

At 8/21/14 12:12 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish they wouldn't put the volume up so loud in movie theaters.

Granted, now you're deaf.

I wish I hadn't cut myself shaving.

At 8/21/14 12:41 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 8/21/14 12:12 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish they wouldn't put the volume up so loud in movie theaters.

Granted, now you're deaf.

I wish I hadn't cut myself shaving.

Granted. You instead poke your eye out with a pencil.

I wish I could go somewhere.

At 8/21/14 04:34 PM, Cronizone wrote:

At 8/21/14 04:05 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish I could go somewhere.

Granted, but it's School.

I wish for Newgrounds to get rid of assholes.

Granted, but now no one can poop anymore. The angry mob of assholeless newgroundlings realize it is you that caused this and chop off your head.

I wish I could live in the future.

At 8/21/14 05:35 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could live in the future.

Granted. You black out, and in a fleeting instant you're awake again. Muscles atrophied, your every concept of everything is weakened...you eventually recover enough to ask what happened to one of the nurses that regularly check on you...you had collapsed not long after you made your wish, comatose for seventeen years...welcome to the future. The world you knew has left you behind, but your perception of time has betrayed you. It only feels like an hour ago you were in 2014. Beyond recovering, you must learn of everything you have missed.

I wish everybody in the world was stripped of their hateful, resentful, overall negative prejudices so that racial, gender, and sexual orientative tensions and biased rationalizations no longer existed; that we all, finally, treated each other based on the content of a person's character, so that each individual was judged by their identity, their personal history and actions alone, never again by the ignorant stereotypes set upon large groups of people to generalize them in a hurtful and unfair manner.

At 8/21/14 06:35 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish everybody in the world was stripped of their hateful, resentful, overall negative prejudices so that racial, gender, and sexual orientative tensions and biased rationalizations no longer existed; that we all, finally, treated each other based on the content of a person's character, so that each individual was judged by their identity, their personal history and actions alone, never again by the ignorant stereotypes set upon large groups of people to generalize them in a hurtful and unfair manner.

Granted, but aliens finally decide to chill with us on Earth and they start to be exactly the same way as we were. We eventually get back to what we were after a while of the aliens being here due to their influence, so, it was basically pointless.

I wish the aliens hadn't come.

At 8/21/14 07:09 PM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:
I wish the aliens hadn't come.

Granted. Without a common enemy to unite against, or without a visitor to properly introduce us into an intergalactic community gracing us with ancient wealths of wisdom, nothing is changed. Everything as it is today debilitates to the point that we fulfill our own prophecy in an apocalypse. A Decade of Doom wrought by an escalating global war, polluting our earth and syphoning our limited precious resources into a famine, paving the way for a force birthed by the desolation of warfare...A mighty pestilence that consumes our small blue planet, our only home, into a slow crawling, all consuming, cold and lonesome mass-death. We vanish from the cosmos having known no neighbors...we all die alone. No aliens to save us from ourselves.

(To no relations of previous wishes) I wish that intelligent, communicative pacifistic extraterrestrial life cordially and respectfully taught us about the mysteries of the universe, integrating us into the Galactic Life Circle so we may peacefully communicate with the alien worlds of our galactic neighborhood. So we can learn to better ourselves.

At 8/22/14 01:52 AM, Phobotech wrote: (To no relations of previous wishes) I wish that intelligent, communicative pacifistic extraterrestrial life cordially and respectfully taught us about the mysteries of the universe, integrating us into the Galactic Life Circle so we may peacefully communicate with the alien worlds of our galactic neighborhood. So we can learn to better ourselves.

Granted. They try to bring their peaceful ways to us, but no matter how hard they try, they can't change the fact that mankind is a bunch of bloodthirsty assholes. All that their efforts result in is their own demise.

I wish mankind wasn't a bunch of bloodthirsty assholes.

At 8/22/14 08:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted. They try to bring their peaceful ways to us, but no matter how hard they try, they can't change the fact that mankind is a bunch of bloodthirsty assholes. All that their efforts result in is their own demise.

I wish mankind wasn't a bunch of bloodthirsty assholes.

Granted, now they are a bunch of brainthirsty assholes. The zombie apocalypse has come!

I wish for a pair of tires.

At 8/22/14 08:25 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for a pair of tires.

Granted, they belong to a monster truck and fall onto your head.

I wish to drive a monster truck.

At 8/22/14 08:42 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to drive a monster truck.

Granted, but now your truck is a monster and it eats you.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

At 8/22/14 08:48 AM, larrynachos wrote:

At 8/22/14 08:42 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to drive a monster truck.

Granted, but now your truck is a monster and it eats you.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

Granted, now you're unemployed.

I wish for a decent paying job that's also morally acceptable.

At 8/22/14 08:52 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, now you're unemployed.

I wish for a decent paying job that's also morally acceptable.

haha joke's on you I didn't have a job to begin with.

Granted, but it sucks and you despise it with every fiber of your being.

I wish I could play guitar

granted, but unfortunately you also get leprosy and your fingers drop off

i wish i was a billionaire in british pounds.

At 8/22/14 09:15 AM, larrynachos wrote: I wish I could play guitar

Granted, but too often you just pull a The Who until you've smashed your last guitar to pieces, unable to afford a new one.

I wish my chair wasn't making weird noises. It's kinda creepy...

At 8/22/14 09:18 AM, Freaki-boy92 wrote: i wish i was a billionaire in british pounds.

Granted, the British Pound drops so rapidly in value all your money soon isn't worth shit any more.

See my wish above.

At 8/22/14 09:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish my chair wasn't making weird noises. It's kinda creepy...

Granted, your chair stops making creepy noises. But every night, at the witching hour, the source of legitimate madness and horrors come from...somewhere else...and they get stronger, and more agitated by the day. They seek you out for something. You find out they want your chair after a very long time being scared out of your fucking skull by all of the haunting. You'll never be the same again.

I wish I were a real cybertronian Transformer.