At 6/18/15 04:00 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish to go to a giant water park in the arctic circle

Granted. The water park sinks to the bottom of the arctic ocean just as you set foot in it.

I wish that the person below deleted and destroyed all of the porn in the world and was held accountable for it.

At 6/19/15 12:29 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that the person below deleted and destroyed all of the porn in the world and was held accountable for it.

GRANTED. but you are never allowed to masturbate again or touch your dick for the rest of your life and you get severe blue balls.

i wish Stafffighter was an actual dinosaur and would hand out pancakes to everyone on ng

FUCK!!!! i dont want him dead
he's a great dinosaur
also for the sake of this thread, again, granted
but your penis starts hitting everyone you walk by and eventually falls off

At 6/19/15 10:16 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I was immune to all radiation.

Granted. As the light and heat of the sun are radiation, you die blind and cold.

I wish walking sticks came back in a big way.

At 6/19/15 10:29 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/19/15 10:16 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I was immune to all radiation.

Granted. As the light and heat of the sun are radiation, you die blind and cold.

I wish walking sticks came back in a big way.

Granted, some sticks come walking back on a big way. It's not nearly as impressive as you thought it would be.

But I still wish stafffighter would hand out pancakes to everyone on NG.

At 6/20/15 01:24 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
But I still wish stafffighter would hand out pancakes to everyone on NG.

Granted. I do so wearing an apron so hilarious that your concept of comedy is ruined forever.

I wish for a Godzilla vs. Cthulhu movie made with a blockbuster budget by talented people with love and respect for the source material.

At 6/20/15 02:12 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/20/15 01:24 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
But I still wish stafffighter would hand out pancakes to everyone on NG.

Granted. I do so wearing an apron so hilarious that your concept of comedy is ruined forever.

Trust me, no one's concept of comedy is more ruined than mine. Your hilarious apron would actually be helpful in that regard.

I wish for a Godzilla vs. Cthulhu movie made with a blockbuster budget by talented people with love and respect for the source material.

Granted, but all this awesome stuff still can't get any depth into the plot.

I wish for Germany to win the FIFA Women's World Championship.

At 6/20/15 02:18 PM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish for Germany to win the FIFA Women's World Championship.

Granted, but they are denied a trophy.

I wish that humans and pets has a permanent role reversal.

At 6/21/15 09:18 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish all war was just replaced by really violent sports.

Granted. The Yankees spend an exorbitant amount building the best team and the world is ruled by New Yorkers.

I wish for level up perks in the style of the fallout games to exist in real life.

granted but everyone else levels up around you and you get annihilated

i wish for puppies to not get sick

At 6/22/15 12:45 AM, HomicidalDragon wrote:
i wish for puppies to not get sick

Granted. Hush Puppies don't get sick anyway.

I wish that we can literally drink our own emotions.

At 6/22/15 02:51 AM, ZeroDown wrote:

At 6/22/15 01:12 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that we can literally drink our own emotions.

Granted, a little boy named 'we' can literally drink his own emotions.

I wish that Tom Fulp is my girlfriend.

Granted, April murders you out of jealousy.

I wish the Tom's birthday was boosted on Famous Birthdays.

At 6/22/15 01:07 PM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish the Tom's birthday was boosted on Famous Birthdays.

Granted. Other celebrities get jealous and sue him until he's bankrupt.

I wish that Disney bought DC Comics and Star Trek.

At 6/24/15 06:31 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 6/22/15 01:07 PM, DamnedByFate wrote:
I wish the Tom's birthday was boosted on Famous Birthdays.

Granted. Other celebrities get jealous and sue him until he's bankrupt.ve fun w

I wish that Disney bought DC Comics and Star Trek.

Granted. Now, thanks to typical Disney marketing, even MLP is fucking Carmageddon, Doom 3, Manhunt and Hatred combined compared to DC Comics and Star Trek. Have fun with the possibly sappiest of remakes :D

I wish political correctness wasn't so crucial to entertainment industries nowadays...
(srsly, who the fuck is this guy and where's Peter Parker?!?)

At 6/24/15 07:06 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish political correctness wasn't so crucial to entertainment industries nowadays...
(srsly, who the fuck is this guy and where's Peter Parker?!?)

Granted. Entertainment starts to lose it's touch and sales suffer for it.

I wish that there was no such thing as copyrights.

At 6/24/15 11:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that there was no such thing as copyrights.

Granted. Eric Bauman goes un-punched.

I wish I could choose at will what holiday season it was.

At 6/25/15 07:25 PM, Vixuzar wrote:
I wish i could stop time.

Granted. it is always this exact moment. No change in weather. No new pop culture. Children stop growing. So have fun watching ted 2 in the theater for the 30th time sitting next to people who brought their stuck as a baby kid.

I wish for ted 2 to fail as hard as it clearly deserves to.

At 6/25/15 07:52 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for ted 2 to fail as hard as it clearly deserves to.

Granted. A live-action movie based on Rugrats replaces it, directed by Michael Bay.

I wish there was no such thing as sadness and grief.

At 6/25/15 11:16 PM, ZeroDown wrote:
I wish to build up my collection of virginities.

Granted. You're a virgin for the rest of your life, as well as the afterlife.

I wish that the entire state of Michigan sunk into the Great Lakes, becoming a singular Great Lake as a result.

At 6/25/15 11:27 PM, nugrunds wrote:
granted but it causes a tsunami and it heads straight for you and you are the only casualty

I actually live in Michigan.

i wish the gamechanger would live up to expectations and change the game already. we've been waiting to see what you're holding us back on

Granted. The game is changed 50 years from now, by which everyone will be too old to give a fuck.

I wish that the Earth permanently stopped rotating.

At 6/25/15 11:40 PM, ZeroDown wrote:

At 6/25/15 11:32 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that the Earth permanently stopped rotating.

Granted, the planet E-Arth, millions of light years away from our Earth, stops rotating.

I wish to murder the furries.

Granted. We lose @Xenomit and everyone is sad.

I wish sarcasm translated better via text than it currently does.

At 6/26/15 10:00 AM, ZeroDown wrote: I wish for purple.

Granted, your face turns purple as you suffocate.

I wish to watch.

At 6/26/15 10:05 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:

At 6/26/15 10:00 AM, ZeroDown wrote: I wish for purple.

Granted, your face turns purple as you suffocate.

I wish to watch.

Granted, but you have to watch birds forever.

I wish to have sick dance moves.

At 6/26/15 10:25 AM, Jericho wrote: I wish to have sick dance moves.

Granted, your dance moves are so sick they make everyone throw up.

I wish "sick" didn't have a double meaning.

At 6/26/15 10:29 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:

At 6/26/15 10:25 AM, Jericho wrote: I wish to have sick dance moves.

Granted, your dance moves are so sick they make everyone throw up.

I wish "sick" didn't have a double meaning.

So do I.

At 6/26/15 10:38 AM, ZeroDown wrote:

At 6/26/15 10:29 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish "sick" didn't have a double meaning.

Granted, 'sick' now has a triple meaning.

I wish that Billy Mays came back to life and we took over the world together.

Granted, the world ends just as you finish it.

I wish for Ragnarök.

At 6/26/15 10:44 AM, ZeroDown wrote:

At 6/26/15 10:43 AM, DamnedByFate wrote: I wish for Ragnarök.

Granted, Rad gets jealous and kills you.

I wish SentForMe would stop making so many fucking forum game threads.

Granted, he now makes fucking threads.

I wish someone literally made fucking threads.

At 6/27/15 12:39 AM, ZeroDown wrote:

I wish TomFulp would put some sunglasses on his user pic.

Granted. He takes that pair of sunglasses that look really good on you and then never gives them back. You know the ones I mean. The ones that compliment the shape of your head.

I wish humans were designed with twice as much blood as she have now.

At 6/27/15 12:56 AM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish humans were designed with twice as much blood as she have now.

Granted, Men get periods, we cry blood (some even being able to shoot blood out of their eyes like those one lizards, you know the ones I'm talking about, they're from the dessert and they're spikey. Yeah, we do that shit now, and sometimes on accident), and humans do all kinds of gross bloody things all the time like its normal. Consequently, you and a considerable chunk of the population become HIV positive. Yeah, I went with the "You have AIDS" route. Fuck.

I wish my weekends were twice as long so I could have way more free-time now that I have a full time job.

At 6/27/15 01:00 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish my weekends were twice as long so I could have way more free-time now that I have a full time job.

Granted, but with your longer weekends, now you work less, so you also earn less money.

I wish it was over.