I just don't know what to do Newgrounds. Like the thread title states, I accidentally killed a hooker. To be more specific, I bludgeoned her to death with a rock.
It was last night. I was walking home from a friends house and passed through a specific part of town that's known for not being so nice. Lots of gang violence, prostitution and drugs go around. I walk by two houses and hear a sharp whistle from in between. Curious, I go to investigate. A wrinkled lady wearing a green spaghetti strap that reminded me of boogers and a vinyl mini skirt the color of vagina blood walked up to me.
" -wheeze- hey boy do you want a good time"
" Um, are you asking me to put my dick in you?"
" Depends on how much you want to pay"
"Lady, you couldn't pay me enough to put my dick in you. You couldn't MAKE me put my dick in you. I wouldn't even put my FRIENDS dick in you. I'd put dick cheney in you, but just to teach that asshole a lesson. I'd put a chihuahua--"
" Ok ok I get it asshole, I'm not attractive. But trust me, you look like you need it."
" Lady please leave me alone. I'm obviously able to get a girl of my own. I don't need to PAY for shitty sex."
At this, she screamed in a rage. Grabbing the nearest beer bottle lying on the floor, she charged at me wildly screaming "I SAID FUCK ME YOU STUPID TWAT" Loudly. May I remind you, that we are in public.
I dodged to the side, and grabbed a stone the size of a fist. She charged again and ran into a dumpster. She then proceeded to throw up all over the ground, and subsequently my new shoes. I think she was drunk because she then fell down on the floor in a pile of her own bile.
Trying to teach her a lesson, I decided the best course of action was to urinate on her hair. So I unzipped. Unfortunately for me, she woke up halfway through my taking a whiz on what I realized was a shitty wig. Scrambling up, she latched her fake lips around my package and started to bite down. I must have peed a full quart of urine into her mouth and face.
That's when I realized I still had the rock in my hand! Brandishing it like a weapon, I bashed it into her head until she fell down. I kept on hitting and hitting her in the head. I think I blacked out for a while and when I came to, I was fucking her while she was still passed out.
Apparently she COULD make me put my dick in her.
Well anyway, I finished up, and got dressed. That's when I noticed she wasn't breathing. Panicking, I dragged her to my house about a mile away. Her blood and vaginal juices left a trail all the way to my front door.
So right now she's sitting in my backyard naked, covered in honey. I figure wild animals will pick her clean.
Was this the best course of action? What should I have done instead Newgrounds?
