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Reviews for "EOFS - Super Trouble"
This was really funny and wacky.
Although the characters seem pretty static when talking perhaps you can make them gesture while they’re talking.
Also there are a lot of sentences that just go off on tangents that don’t really add anything to the humor.
The lack of an overall plot made it challenging to see the entire toon through.(I did watch all of it though)
Sure there was conflict and a climax, but nobody really had a good reason to get into a battle to the death.
Sure it was explained why afterwards, but we should’ve known way earlier before the fight began.
Usually in good vs evil plots the two sides have to have conflicting goals.
Also there were so many characters taking up screen time that it was impossible to know who the main ones were.
Usually before I write a script I brain storm, all of the important parts first before I write dialogue or even start drawing.
1.I decide who the main character is
2.I decide who, what, or where the antagonist is. (Sometimes the bad guy isn’t a character, like a natural disaster or the character’s self.)
3. I come up with a goal for the main character
4. I think of a weakness for the main character, their internal conflict.
5. I make the call to action, the event that makes the main character get out of their comfort zone to want to get the goal.
6. I write the main conflict
6. the climax :when the good guy and bad guy fight.
7. And the end where I wrap up loose ends and the story.
It gets complicated having all these element inside a wall of text so I usually make a visual graph of some sort first then I write based off of that.
On the plus side the art was good, the lip syncing was perfect, the voices were hilarious, and the general concept of the plot was very silly.
TheMiamiDeSantos responds:
yo dude thank you a lot! This is the episode 6, like if somebody never watched sailor moon and just watch the episode 6 they won't get much of it's plot right away. But anyway i surely gotta improve my writting i have received some comments about it on this ep as well on others, thanks for the heads up
i will seek more people opinion about it but honestly i think those things like have a main character with a goal, a main antagonist, etc are things for movies, shounen animes, short films, etc. I don't know if it got clear but i was aiming for something like south park, beavis and butthead, family guy, simpsons, etc where the characters are more like tools to show the story as well some of it's meanings, send some messages to the viewer about the subject and ting. But thanks for the info, i have seen some other people missing that on my cartoon before, one said about the characters "they're made to fit the shitpost more than the shitpost is made to fit the characters", i think i was aiming exactly for that, but it ended up being a negative point at least for some people so i will seek more opinions about it. Anyway thanks a lot for the info, hails from brazil
I could see this growing into something over time.
You seem to have your own style which is good. Out of curiosity what is your process like, and what animation software are you using? I've developed my own process too and I'd love to know how you developed yours.
Vocals and animation are pretty well done for one person doing everything.
TheMiamiDeSantos responds:
yo thanks, i use adobe flash cs3 professional, i first write a script then i do all the animation , i draw everything with a mouse, then i record the voice action, sync the dub with the animation then export the animation and the audio, do a little of edit and production on the audio (as well some sfx, music, ambience sound)
Kudos that you do all that on your own, must have taken you a long time and some work! The silly, but funny goofiness of the first scene with the girl kicking the ball all around was the best part imho.
The "shootout" scene wasn't bad, but dragged a bit to long, the final part with all the real pics was rather confusing and didn't add anything to your animation. I know, we shouldn't take this too serious, but a different final scene (I thought the girl with the soccerball would return and knock all the other girls out with it even though they have their guns! ^^') would have made it a bit better.
The animation is okay and the voice-acting amusing, you obviously have your very own style! You may gain more views and votes when your submissions are a bit shorter, let's say around 3-4 minutes, but I think you are on a good way.
TheMiamiDeSantos responds:
Thanks! Yeah this one took me about 4 months to be done. I didn't know what to put on the ending so i did this outro with the shitpost memes in tribute to my facebook shitposting friends. Glad you liked the voice action! I will be aiming for shorter animations on the future, thank you a lot!
Football closed the car door and locked it. -
90/10.