Reviews for W.I.W.N.W.A...? Taxes

[Nhean]

Nice concept. Needs a bit of polish.

It is a nice concept and I'd like to see a few more episodes. Overall, I enjoyed it, though the story dragged on a bit too much. Almost to a Monty Python "get on with it" level. The sub-plots, such as the romance segment had nothing to do with the main plot and were a distraction. This wouldn't be bad if it was the main reason for the guy ignoring his tax problems.
The animation would have been more entertaining if the length of each day was shortened to a few seconds, with each day being its own gag or strung together for a gag. The days in the park where the guy played fetch with various animals, is an example of this done well.
The ending would have felt less anti-climatic if the guy was still worry-free after the repo, pulled some deus-ex-machina to keep his home, or more emphasis was placed on him realizing his stupidity.
Curious where you go with this. Will you keep the same main character and flesh him out over time, or have a character-an-episode? Will you place more emphasis on drama and a hard Aesop, or go for a more comedic approach? Will your animation quality improve or will you go for a stylistic suck? Best of luck.

MFRS responds:

THANKS A LOT!!!!!! Finnaly someone that gives me a proper opinion, instead if telling that my animation is really bad or that my voices were crap. Well i'm thinking of having different characters for episode, and different themes as well. If you see my first animation and this one now at least you can see a bit of improvement, as well as the scenarios. At least, that's what i think. Thanks for your opinion, i'll tell you something if i'll continue with this series :).

[Anamat]

Good idea...but

I like the idea behind this video, but I'm sure you were thinking more along the lines of bills. Good story, I liked the ending, but the animation was lacking. Make sure that you've got your ideas straight if you go ahead and continue with the series. I really am looking forward to seeing this continue.

MFRS responds:

Yeah the animation was the biggest letdown of them all i know :S. I will see if i improve my drawing, and once i'll get better in drawing, i'll post the second episode. Thanks for commenting.

[Revenant9]

Coo

a cool topic , good sound use - obvious lack of animation , and anticlimactic

your additions of humor were good ;)

MFRS responds:

Ok so do you think i should continue this series? Thanks for commenting :D.

[LewToons]

guh...

this is terribly animated..why would rina chan do a voice for this? haha

its terribly out of place too...its like a bunch of crap voices followed by rina chans voice randomly..haha...

just weird and bad...sry

MFRS responds:

crap voices? i don't know if you read my description but what i did was do the voices like the sims where i try to demonstrate things through images not voices... At least can you say somethings like where i can improve or if i should continue this series or not? Pm me or something if you would like to give me your opinion.

[alfa995]

Mmmm okay...

I think everything that had to be said about this has already being said, but I will tell you what I think, and give you advice instead of just pointing out the flaws you already know.
First of all, there are some things that make a flash good: sound (music, sfx, voice), story, art (and the quality of animation) and comedy. Most flashes only need two or three of those to be good, so I´ll tell you what this animation has.

Sound: 1 point
Music...not very high quality, and most of the flash had no background music. If it had voice it would not be a problem, but instead of voice, you used mumbling sounds, and the sfx you used was kind of annoying (clicking sounds when people walk, for example). You even got Rina-chan to help you, but it didn´t make a difference, because there´s NO dialogue.

My advice: find some nice background music, there´s lots on Newgrounds you can use, and make sure the sfx is good (there are lots of free sound effects on findsounds and flashkit) and of course, next time write a script with words, not mumbling, if you´re going to ask a voice actor/actress to help you.

Story: 1 point
Since there was no voice, no word ballons, and the art was not good, I had to use my imagination to guess what the flash was about. Apparently, some guy moves out of his parents´ house, and lives his life normally, not worrying about well...taxes, right? If you´re going to talk about something, make sure you know what it is, you should have investigated what taxes are, and I think you already know that.

My advice: Make sure you investigate and understand the subject you´re animating about before starting to animate. If you have no voice, I don´t really recommend word ballons, but subtitles should be fine.

Art: 0 points
Sorry, but I can´t give the art of this flash anything higher than 0. The characters are stick figures, the backgrounds look like they were drawn in MS paint, and the motion is not fluid. Stick fights for example, can be good, even when the characters are so simple, bacause the motion is fluid, it has action, and most of the time the backgrounds are very well drawn. This has neither of those.

My advice: practice drawing in flash, don´t make the characters stick figures if you´re not going to animate them properly, take your time with the backgrounds, use shadows and highlights to give the drawings depth, read some flash tutorials, and use at least 18 FPS (frames per second) so it looks more fluid.

Comedy: 0 points
The genre of this is "Comedy-Original", but it didn´t even make me smile. To make something funny, it must have jokes (dialogue) or no voice, but a funny plot and good animation. I´m not sure what part of this was supposed to be funny, but to me, nothing was.

My advice: think of original jokes, or a funny story. But if you see something funny that is very popular and try to do the same, people are probably not going to like it, and remember, drawing badly on purpose doesn´t make a flash funny (I say that because some poeple think it does, draw badly on purpose, then find out nobody liked their flash).

Okay, that just my opinion. And about your comments, if you plan to continue the series, please improve everything. EVERYTHING. Graphics, animation, writing, music, comedy...and take your time, nobody is giving you a time limit. For this flash, I have to be honest, this is Newgrounds and it is 2010, so 2/10 and 1/5.

I hope you take my advices, I´m sure you will improve. Good luck with your future projects.

-alfa995

MFRS responds:

Well as i said in the last responses i'm still too bad in drawing, so i tried to use stick figures to give this animation a smoother look, which apparently didn't work. The mumbling was sort of a different idea i had, which didn't worked well too, so that is another thing that won't be in the next episode. About the sfx that is always a problem to find decent sfx sounds. Finally, about the comedy, i used some ideas i had while animating this video. Maybe some people think it's funny, but in overall most people didn't liked it as well. It will take a time for me to post anything new around here, because i still have a lot to improve. Thanks for your opinion :D