This will sound mean
I would have just kept my peace and not commented, but I read the author's comment, so I thought, "What the hell, might as well comment". So here it is.
I really don't like this kind of music very much.
The guitar is repetitive, uninteresting, and way to typical.
The drums were semi-impressive, but the skill level shown is nothing really special.
Bass did it's job well, kept with the beat, and established connection in the phrases
Vocals... where to start? This will sound odd, open up your throat dude. You're muffling your own voice the way you shape your throat and mouth. The screaming was unnecessary. The range was unimpressive, anyone can sing middle register forever. Top register is flat. No bottom register to speak of. The only thing I will compliment you on, is that I could actually understand every word that came out of your mouth.
Lyrics... Ignorable. Really, who hasn't written a song just like this already? Originality is a must if you ever want to take this anywhere.
Final grade C+
its not good, but it's not bad
(anyone who disagrees with me, note that this is my opinion, if you can't deal with someone holding a different view, keep it to yourself unless you have a valid argument beyond, "Ur a F@G N00B". Thank you.)