Was great work done here with the art especially the 3D rendering
Author Comments
Rise of chaos episode 1. this is what's going to lead up to the rest of the series. with the clip i showed you when mav leaves you will see his origin in episode 2. i'm building up tension for the big fight at the end of the series. there will be action along the way. so stay tough. this script i have up here is one not too many people are used too.
Press spacebar to play after you click play. this is only a beta version of it that i'm releasing. i have a bunch of voice actors working on the script for this. i can't seem to find any one willing to play the scouts yet. hope soon i have two girls so far. for venus and mercury. well. enjoy. the real version of this will have the voices.
Here is the plot. it took me a while i had to make some tweeks but i got the plot of it right. when i do release the version of it with the voice acting i will have the announcer speak the plot.
an ancient evil back before the moon kingdom began to flourish. an evil man named chaos lived on the earth that had the ability to control the universe and all of creation it's self. when he realized what he could do he tried to destroy the first obstical in his way. the moon kingdom. when princess serenity at the time rose to fight him he began to over power her and with the help of tuxedo mask they were able to seal this evil up in a tomb and a pyramid was built over him to keep the evil sealed for ever. the only way he can be released is if the three stages of chaos trials are met and when they are, He will rise once again.
Dude so far I have been reading your story line and you really need to work on errors.
So far there are 5 errors.
1.Grammar: you really need to work on spacing and Capital letters and spelling ok?
2. Art: You need to try and make the edited characters look the same as Goku or something. You did great with Goku though.
3. Background: Try to create your own. Keep trying. Put effort.
4. Commenting: Sorry man. Try NOT to br rude and try to be nice. Ok?
5. Effort: Put what you try to make it Perfected.
Try not to displace the blames you make with criticisms otherwise you get or mistakes you make. Learn well.
Be focused on your work, and skip it if you make ANY errors.'
Kdaza26.. WORK.
One day you could be pretty good at this kind of stuff. Keep on experimenting and exploring for different techniques within whatever program you used for this and use the best stuff for you.
I gotta say this is a beginning that is much better then the beginning of a whole lot of the other spriters out there.
Also; that 3D work is exceptional.
Storywise; You've got your good guys, bad guys, and conflict, just like all tales. However, the plot seemed kind of... unpolished. As a pilot episode, it should be the "planting of the seed". But seeing all these characters from so many places already interacting and doing stuff like they know each other, the viewer thinks; "Did I miss something?".
You did say this was a beta though. And all good stories have drafts.
-Aaroca-
Good luck, man. Let me know when the next instalment is out.
i got stuck on the first text sence which is "ahhhh this is bullshit" which is ironic.
Punisher33 responds:
lol. I'm sorry. about that. all you have to do is press spacebar to continue it say's so in the display.
I thought you did try to have more of a story than some of your other work. What I didn't like was how this just seemed to go on too long. There wasn't even a single action scene! Don't get me wrong, emotional stuff it good too, but it just doesn't add up to much here. I did think the music was pretty good. I think the sprite work is alright, but it doesn't really go anywhere.
Maybe the finale with the action will make up for this. This was okay, not something I would recommend. There should have been more movement and better written text. I can see how you were influenced by SMBZ for this. Alvin-Earthworom was actually inspired by Kirbopher's TTA series.
Punisher33 responds:
This is going to slowly lead up to the action scenes sense it's going to be explaining origins. not much action right away. it builds up to it. trust me. episode 2 is gonna be crazy insane. and very involved.