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Scientists discover fire

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Thimbles
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Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:41:49 Reply

Scientists have discovered a procedure to summon the powers of the Gods into a central location.

This procedure was first observed through unimaginable complex steps to slowly, but effectively summon our overlord's fiery wrath into a safe, usable, entertaining display of heat and light. This amazing discovery has been dubbed "fire" by religious scientist Dr. Mike Brown of the local hunting grounds, whose research is partly funded by NASIA (Northern Atlantis Scientific Institute (of) Advancement).

This phenomenon is a typical member of the "light and heat" godly wrath, but its typical size in relation to the known powers of our Lord(s) clearly indicates that they can regulate their powers, Brown said. Currently about 97 times more powerful than the great sphere in the sky, in terms of heat, Brown also suspects that possible implications would be to quickly and more effectively cook our food.

"The second procedure test outcome will be visible for another five hours until the tree under it disappears completely, which the 'flames' cannot survive without" said Brown, who made the discovery with colleagues Chad Trujillo, of the and David Rinowitz of the same institution.

The story continues to develop, so I'll have more on it later.


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Maximus
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:42:37 Reply

Well this should be a treat.


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gamerpeepinpa
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:46:59 Reply

Not too sure about this, I like my mammoth raw.


hi

ngmastah
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:48:01 Reply

At 10/2/08 11:44 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Link please. I don't believe the story about this "fire." It sounds too strange, though it would be nice to have an improved way to cook our food. I won't get excited about this until I'm sure it's real.

Cooking food with fire and heat? That's WAY too far-fetched, it'll never catch on.


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Sistine1408
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:50:46 Reply

It's the coming of the Apocalypse! Man controlling our Lord(s) power? Absurd! Better strap your club to your cave wall, it's going to grow legs and run away!


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TheJamoke
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-02 23:55:11 Reply

THEY ARE WITCHES, I TELL YOU!

Perhaps we could use this, "fi-er" of which they speak to kill them and rid the commonwealth of the dark forces that bind them. This we will do in the name of Jesus, then, when the authorities begin to ask questions, we will blame it on minorities.


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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:02:37 Reply

If it's true, then I want some of that stuff. It sounds good, especially during the time when those white puffy things fall from the sky.


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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:12:57 Reply

Link or no cigar.

Sounds cool (although naming it "fire" wasn't the best idea), but not getting excited until have proof.

Hellian00
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:17:07 Reply

Wow. That's fucking crazy. "Fire"? What's this stuff made of? And how does it feel to touch it?

Dogmeat
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:20:36 Reply

I FOUND A DEVICE OF WITCHCRAFT! This Mexican behind the counter told me they're called a light-er, and you press down on a little button, while spinning a little wheel and it makes flames! It's witchcraft, WITCHCRAFT!


I AM THREAD KILLER!

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MikeRomanul
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:21:02 Reply

So.. can you, like... eat it? Or what?

Dogmeat
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-03 00:22:47 Reply

At 10/3/08 12:21 AM, Guest8792 wrote: It's A lie, everyone.
Just lie how the earth is round.

I always like to pretend in my head, it's slightly oblong.


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kraor024
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:02:07 Reply

This "fi-arr" of which you speak it is a mockery of the gods they will not take kindly to this and what good does do us, can it kill a beast, can it heal the sick, it is useless just like that "clothang" fad these people started, covering our backs with animal skin and what good did that do use none, because of this my son has confused a wolf for a child he plays with it, even FEEDS IT, and now he is trying to teach it, like a beast can learn. The gods shall punish you for your "Fi-are" and for your "cooking" soon you will see they will not take this mockery.

Bacchanalian
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:14:27 Reply

At 10/20/08 07:02 AM, kraor024 wrote: they will not take this mockery.

And if the God's don't do anything soon enough we'll carry out their will in their honor!


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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:15:04 Reply

At 10/3/08 12:22 AM, Dog-meat wrote:
At 10/3/08 12:21 AM, Guest8792 wrote: It's A lie, everyone.
Just lie how the earth is round.
I always like to pretend in my head, it's slightly oblong.

Oh, no you're wrong there my friend.
It can't be that since the Earth is flat you see.


Scotland :D

Armerad
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:15:21 Reply

OH LAWD! ITs our DEAWLY BELOVED GAWD, COMING TO PUNISH US!


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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:43:25 Reply

At 10/3/08 12:21 AM, MikeRomanul wrote: So.. can you, like... eat it? Or what?

OH MY GOD! this man... he is eating the hand of god?!?!

Scientists discover fire


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Trambamboline
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:46:19 Reply

I eagerly await more news of this fire, and it's potential uses in our daily lives!


"Anything could happen in the next half hour!"
"For the love of God, don't stop pretending you're a dragon!"

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Quinny
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 07:46:44 Reply

Witchcraft much?

Give us a link or it never happened

TEABAGGIN' AIN'T EASY

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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 08:31:31 Reply

Hey guise, sure am looking forward to that there "tele-vishin".


I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now.

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MasterOfDaWay666
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-20 08:36:57 Reply

I don't believe you.


Ignorance is bliss, kids.

King-Kiwi
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 07:45:14 Reply

"Fi-er" huh? ROFLMAO!!!!!!!1!! Next thing you know, something will happen to that Washington fellow over there....flying his kite with a key attached to it......WTF is that gonna do? And that Edison dude.....that "Telefone" he speaks of......completely mad.......And dont get me started about this "Inter-net" javascript:MakeSmileySelection(9);

Cur1y
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 07:50:29 Reply

Scientists always taking it too far, next thing you know they will be harnessing the power of "lightning". These Scientists are just giving god the finger, I'm ready to be smited.


Paradox: This Statement is false.

Thermometer
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 07:54:30 Reply

They dare mock our perfect god with "fire", they must not side with the devil! We should hang them! BURN WITCHES BURN! Burn them at the steak... wait.


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ZeroAsALimit
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 07:56:41 Reply

This has to be from The Onion. I mean, fire? What the fuck is "fire"?! No such thing!


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Bovineoverlord
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 08:37:59 Reply

Bullshit. I didn't see this on Google news, WikiNews, OR CNN.


Every thread I touch, dies.

Slidy
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 09:08:24 Reply

At 10/20/08 08:36 AM, MasterOfDaWay666 wrote: I don't believe you.

none of us do


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AcidSoldier
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 09:23:28 Reply

What's fire mean? Is it that yellow stuff that hurts?


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Alfie
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 09:42:16 Reply

At 10/27/08 09:23 AM, AcidSoldier wrote: What's fire mean? Is it that yellow stuff that hurts?

No, that's concentrated lemon acid.

sirtom93
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Response to Scientists discover fire 2008-10-27 10:48:51 Reply

That was a while coming.