At 3/27/08 02:14 AM, Night-Mare wrote: .. Whirlguy please do your critisism against mine please <3
You give very detailed and accurate critisism and it seems very helpful and I think I could do with some.
No problem.
Let's see, this was your last update..
The beginning looks very nice, where he slides, picks up the halo. No problems there, in fact it's very nice. I like the cloudy backgrounds. And how you took the time drawing new ones in every new scene.
- The animation starts bothering me at the part where he just picked up the halo, and you see him from the front, where he has wings. It seems like you were not really motivated to put effort into this part, or rushed it. Too many things bother me at that point, but I will start at my main anoyance. The lines. I suggest creating a new layer, and trace your old drawing with smoother lines. Also mess around with your brush properties, it looks like you set it way too low. I use 75 myself.
His hair looks very flat. Its way too much around the skull, Hair should move it's own way.
And I know this disapoints you a little, since I know you put effort into it, the wings. You should draw them again. You didnt do them that bad, but its way easier when you stick to a drawing order. First draw the part of the wing that you drew in a grey color. You drew it in the right position of his body, and poiting out in the right angle. But what about drawing it like a straight line, then bowing it down in the middle? Once you have 2 of those, you can draw the first set of feathers down to it. Once you are done, draw the next set under there. So on. That way the wings get a nice shape, with very nice positioned feathers! =D
- The last part that bothers me is the ending. I think you werent really sure what to do at that part. The portal looks fine, so does the running guy. But the clouds he's running on look too simple, and different from the previous ones you drew. Also there are no clouds in the background no more.
The transition to hell looks really out of place. It happens too sudden. How about this? There are happy clouds in the background, heartshaped and bunnies blabla. And as the guy closes in on heaven. They slowly change into evil black creatures, and the background slowly turns dark red.
The heaven portal lights on fire. Very unusual colors for a fire. And a very unusual 2frame movement aswel. Atleast use 4 frames with a width of 2 frames, that looks way more natural. Fire has peaks with a round bothom. A big fire like yours has a big bothom with peaks coming out everywhere and multile top peaks.. How about you draw red outlines of the fire first? Then draw a next frame with the onionskin on, and have the peaks moved. Thats 2 frames done, now all you have to draw is draw the transitions between these movements. Fill each frames's fire insides with a yellow color to have a simplistic looking fire. Fill it with black to create a dark fire.
That's about it for now. I hope I have been helpfull^-^
