Ok, so it happened. Well, I knew it would happen anyway, but it still hits me hard.
How do I put this in words...
When I first used NG, I didn't sign up. It was unnecessary back then, making this site seem more open for everyone to use it. Nowadays, you can't even play some games without doing it.
"Everything. By Everyone."
I loved this motto the first day i entered this site. Tom, I don't know what this motto meant for you, if it weren't hollow words to begin with, but for me, it was the thing that defined this site.
This is why I kept away all of this censorship from my mind. I knew stuff changed, but I didn't want to believe it. I felt that this site begann to lack something...
And here we are now. Forgive my words when I say this, but Tom: Where did your backbone went? I always hoped, no matter what happened to the other sites, that this site and you would never go that low. A lost hope, I see that now.
I'm not going to say "R.I.P. Newgrounds". I'm not going to say that I'll leave and never use this site again. However, I'm going to say the folllowing: As soon as i close the browser, the feeling of freedom the motto of this site gave me will stop to exist. And no matter how often I will come back here, to this place, to the memories of it, it will never come back. This sites meaning has become an empty shell.
Lifeless.
You know Tom, I never shed tears about things lost. This includes much, really. Even one of my great grandparents died, and I didn't shed a tear. Do you want to know why?
Because no matter of his body's dead, his ideals were alive. I could nearly feel them whenever I saw in the eyes of my grandfather. I could always remember him as a hard worker, despite leaving the 80's behind, I could always have the picture of a proud man in my memories.
This has a backside, however: I can't see an ideal, a reason, a meaning die.
Kinda funny: I never really knew all the people on this site or you, Tom, but I could cry about you losing your backbone, about this site whose ideals, whose "Everything. By Everyone", died.
But like I said, maybe you just wanted a few words that look good, ignoring their meaning.
Maybe you read this, if you ever read it, and laugh to yourself how pathetic I am, becoming all emotional about this site and stuff. To me, this site just is a part of my childhood, and one I regret to lose as soon as my comment is finished, as soon as I close the comment box. To you, it might be nothing.
I have to prepare for this part of my memories to become nothing. I have to prepare for this site to become like all the others, turning "Everything" to "Some Things", turning "By Everyone" to "by some people". Becoming like any gaming site on the internet, having no meaning, no identity, nothing that seperates it from the grey mass.
I know that I might be overreacting. I know that it won't end the world or stuff like that.
Heh, who needs "free opinions" and "freedom of speech" anyway, right?
Times have changed, it's the mass of people that matter, not if there are creative inputs or anything.
Well, I got to live with it. I can't change it anyway.
You were always some kind of idol, you know? While writing this, I found that I indeed did look up to you somehow...
Even if something wasn't liked by all people, you let it stay, even to some points where other people would already have removed it, fearing to be disliked by someone. Now that "hero" fell. I guess that's what happens to heroes in general.
Like censorship replaced this sites freedom, someone will replace you as an idol for me, I guess.
Some kind of "moralic circle of life" or something like that.
I'm sure I could write the remaining words full, but the longer I stay, the intenser the memories get, and the more will it hurt when I close the browser. And it will already hurt like hell. In the end, I just hope for you that murdering the spirit of this website is worth it.
Greetings and a respectful goodbye to all previous memories of this site
VB99