At 3/27/13 07:40 AM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I had a sandwich.

Wish granted, here's your sandwich with human meat on it.

I wish I had some sort of life.

At 3/27/13 07:40 AM, Sense-Offender wrote:

At 3/27/13 07:33 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 3/27/13 07:24 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was sober.

You sober up and realize the world is a horrible place.

I wish we could travel at light-speed.

Okay, but the incredible force tears you apart and you're reduced to nothing but a fine red paste.

At 3/27/13 07:34 AM, ManiacCop2 wrote: I wish I had a decent Job

You are elected to public office, but you're assassinated on your first day.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Wish granted but, the contents of the sandwich are 6 years out of date.

I wish I was Immortal

At 3/27/13 07:44 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 3/27/13 07:40 AM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I had a sandwich.

Wish granted, here's your sandwich with human meat on it.

I wish I had some sort of life.

You now have a very active social life. You're already sick of everyone you know and want them all to die.

At 3/27/13 07:45 AM, ManiacCop2 wrote:

At 3/27/13 07:40 AM, Sense-Offender wrote:

I wish I was Immortal

Congrats. You are now a a head floating in a jar, being indefinitely preserved on a shelf, stuck between thebeads of Anna Nocole Smith and Ayn Rand. You wish you were dead.

I wish I had a pair of women's panties to wear on my head.

At 3/27/13 07:53 AM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I had a pair of women's panties to wear on my head.

Wish granted, but they turn out to be your grandmother's dirty lingerie.

I wish I had a cigarrette.

At 3/27/13 08:10 AM, VJF wrote:

At 3/27/13 07:53 AM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I had a pair of women's panties to wear on my head.

Wish granted, but they turn out to be your grandmother's dirty lingerie.

I wish I had a cigarrette.

Wish granted, but instead of the tobacco there's ordinary grass in it, in order to keep it cheap.

I wish I was a ghost.

At 3/27/13 10:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was a ghost.

You become a ghost, and at first it's fun. You get to peek in at women changing, watch movies for free, and freak anyone out that you want to. But then one day as you are haunting an old lady, the Ghostbusters appear and trap you in one of their ghost traps and lock you in their containment generator forever.

I wish AIDS was cured.

At 3/27/13 10:56 AM, VJF wrote: I wish AIDS was cured.

Wish granted, and you get cancer.

I wish I was immune to all kinds of diseases in the world.

At 3/27/13 11:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was immune to all kinds of diseases in the world.

Wish granted, you no longer have any earthy disease or cold for the rest of your life. However, a meteor crashes to Earth, killing millions in the crash,. You somehow survive, but the meteor had an interstellar (outerspace) flesh eating bacteria from Jupiter, and it destroys your body in a matteer of hours.

I wish I could become a famous wroter.

At 3/27/13 11:37 AM, VJF wrote: I wish I could become a famous wroter.

Wish granted, but since nobody has an idea what a "wroter" is, you're all alone once again.

I wish I could travel to another planet.

At 3/27/13 11:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 3/27/13 11:37 AM, VJF wrote: I wish I could become a famous wroter.

Wish granted, but since nobody has an idea what a "wroter" is, you're all alone once again.

Goddamnit. Stupid typos.

I wish I could travel to another planet.

You get your wish. NASA sends you on a space exploration mission of Neptune, but (once again) something goes wrong and you land on Pluto instead and freeze to death.

I wish Burger King was cheaper in price so I could get a better hamburger.

At 3/27/13 11:57 AM, VJF wrote: I wish Burger King was cheaper in price so I could get a better hamburger.

Burger king start using rat meat for their burgers, greatly reducing prices!

I wish there was/is a life after this one.

At 3/27/13 12:00 PM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 3/27/13 11:57 AM, VJF wrote: I wish Burger King was cheaper in price so I could get a better hamburger.

Burger king start using rat meat for their burgers, greatly reducing prices!

I wish there was/is a life after this one.

You go to hell.

I wish for a poker match in which my whole school took part.

At 3/27/13 12:05 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a poker match in which my whole school took part.

You get your poker match, but the school board bets so much money, that funding gets cut in your school and you are forced to start learning fro textbooks dated back in 1989.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

At 3/27/13 12:19 PM, VJF wrote: I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted, but you will never be able to go back to sleep, causing you to go insane.

I wish for nothing.

At 3/27/13 01:15 PM, scoutthesoldier wrote:

I wish for nothing.

You get something anyway. It's called syphilis. Enjoy.

I wish for Electronic Arts to go bankrupt.

At 3/27/13 01:20 PM, slipstrike wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:15 PM, scoutthesoldier wrote:

I wish for nothing.

You get something anyway. It's called syphilis. Enjoy.

I wish for Electronic Arts to go bankrupt.

All their titles are licensed to either Ubisoft or Activision.

I wish for a pet rat.

At 3/27/13 01:22 PM, scoutthesoldier wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:20 PM, slipstrike wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:15 PM, scoutthesoldier wrote:

I wish for nothing.

You get something anyway. It's called syphilis. Enjoy.

I wish for Electronic Arts to go bankrupt.

All their titles are licensed to either Ubisoft or Activision.

I wish for a pet rat.

The rat isn't fluffy and adorable, it's a giant fucking Chinese restaurant rat.

I wish for my truck to get better gas mileage.

At 3/27/13 01:30 PM, Entice wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:28 PM, TB1ZZL3 wrote: I wish for my truck to get better gas mileage.

Granted, but your truck now has an electric engine and can't go over 45 mph.

I wish that I had a cold, refreshing Sprite.

Enjoy your roofied Sprite.

I wish the complete series of Reboot was released on DVD.

At 3/27/13 01:54 PM, Sense-Offender wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:30 PM, Entice wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:28 PM, TB1ZZL3 wrote: I wish for my truck to get better gas mileage.

Granted, but your truck now has an electric engine and can't go over 45 mph.

I wish that I had a cold, refreshing Sprite.

Enjoy your roofied Sprite.

I wish the complete series of Reboot was released on DVD.

Wish granted but each disc has a major scratch in them rendering them unable to be played.

I wish I could make a non corruptable wish.

At 3/27/13 12:19 PM, VJF wrote:

At 3/27/13 12:05 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a poker match in which my whole school took part.

You get your poker match, but the school board bets so much money, that funding gets cut in your school and you are forced to start learning fro textbooks dated back in 1989.

Dude, I've already got textbooks from the previous millennium. It could still be worse, I once had a textbook from the 70s.

At 3/27/13 01:58 PM, Elitistinen wrote:

At 3/27/13 01:54 PM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish the complete series of Reboot was released on DVD.

But you found out the DVD glitches every 5 min.

I wish I have a 5 star dinner tonight, all by myself.

Granted, you're having a dinner... all by yourself... no one else is around... really no one... and then you realize you're in jail, and you have received the death penalty.

I wish for world peace.

At 3/27/13 02:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for world peace.

done. All the nations in the world have disarmed themselves. Now, aliens are invading and we have no way to defend ourselves. All hail President Kang.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

At 3/27/13 02:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for world peace.

Granted, an extremist faction gains power and brainwashes the masses. The world is at peace for the price of freedom.

At 3/27/13 02:12 PM, Sense-Offender wrote:

At 3/27/13 02:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for world peace.

done. All the nations in the world have disarmed themselves. Now, aliens are invading and we have no way to defend ourselves. All hail President Kang.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted, which is bad enough IMO.

I wish, I wish, you were a fish, so I could cook and eat you.

At 3/27/13 02:20 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 3/27/13 02:12 PM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted, which is bad enough IMO.

I wish, I wish, you were a fish, so I could cook and eat you.

You get a fish bone lodged in your throat which somehow makes your voice sound like Gilbert Godfrey.

I wish for a pie to materialize in front of everyone on the planet. The pie is the favorite flavor of the individual.

At 3/27/13 02:20 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish, I wish, you were a fish, so I could cook and eat you.

done. I turned into a puffer fish and you tried to cook me on your own and you ate it. The poison killed you. you dead.

uh eeeeye weesh ooh I wah a buuhd

oooh my gah

At 3/27/13 02:30 PM, slipstrike wrote: I wish for a pie to materialize in front of everyone on the planet. The pie is the favorite flavor of the individual.

All the pie is undercooked and everyone gets sick.

At 3/27/13 02:30 PM, Sense-Offender wrote: uh eeeeye weesh ooh I wah a buuhd

Wish granted but it's hunting season and Elmer Fudd is hunting you down.

I wish I could reenact all Zone tans hentai flashes as the rapist and not get in trouble for it.

At 3/27/13 06:45 PM, CresIsis wrote: Wish granted but it's hunting season and Elmer Fudd is hunting you down.

I think I'll be alright if it's just him.

I wish I could reenact all Zone tans hentai flashes as the rapist and not get in trouble for it.

I hope getting ink in your urethra was worth it.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

At 3/27/13 06:55 PM, Sense-Offender wrote: I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

You turn into an Oscar Meyer weiner, but are immediately eaten by a fat woman in Ohio at a kids birthday party.

I wish I didn't have to shave my face all the time.

At 3/27/13 09:40 PM, VJF wrote:
I wish I didn't have to shave my face all the time.

You now have no face.

I wish for the next wish to not be corrupted.