[submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories

[TomFulp]

Three years ago, I received a PM from a fan with a story about Newgrounds. The story was so endearing that CarrotClock felt the need to make it a reality. The entire process took probably less than an hour.

This, combined with the recent hilarity of Dot Dot Dot has reminded me that you can have a lot of fun with the words written by other people, even if the story isn't that great.

For our first NG Movie Jam of 2011, we're going to start with writers submitting their short stories. Stories must be of a scope that can fit a one minute movie.

On January 28th, we will have a live webcast from the office where we browse the stories and pick our favorites. That evening, we will announce which production teams are tackling which stories. The teams will then have 48 hours to give their best effort to bringing those stories to life. The writers will be co-authored on the final submission and guaranteed at least 20% rev share.

Production teams will consist of any combination of artists, voice actors and musicians. The max team size (not including writer) is FOUR, so 2+ artists can team up to cover characters and backgrounds, etc. Music from the Audio Portal is allowed as additional credits.

This thread is for the WRITING portion of the event. Each author may only submit ONE story so not to flood the event. Try to write something that you feel would be fun to visualize / animate as well as fun to watch. Beyond that, the sky is the limit!

STORY SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS Wednesday, January 26th.

Please only post your story in this thread. For discussion and prize info, see the discussion thread.

GO GO GO!

[MonoFlauta]

The Homework
Two years ago the teacher gave to all the students their homework with marks. But one of the students, a boy, had a low mark and he was very angry about that because he tough he wouldn't be able to go out at night with friends because of that.
He decided the best option was to take the homework and throw it to the toilet. When he flushed the toilet he broke the chain! And the toilet got blocked so the water started to come up, so he decided to try to get out the homework with the toilet paper but he got wet the hand and the toilet got more blocked! He ran as fast as he could to his classroom and stayed all the time he could as nothing happened.
At the end, the water was coming inside the classroom and the teacher opened the door to see what happened, when he open it, there it was, the homework floating on the water.

Moral of fable: Never use a good printer, the ink would not go even with water.

Hope you find this usefull :)

[Buttersnack]

There once was an alien named Jim. Jim was so fat that none of the other aliens liked him. He also had terrible taste in shoes, but the other aliens didn't think he should be eating shoes in the first place. Jim decided he was going to lose some weight so the other aliens would think he's a pretty cool guy. After intense training and a short training montage, Jim had lost almost 50 pounds (because the gym is expensive) and weighed slightly less, too. However, all of his hard work was for nothing because he was sued by Foot Locker and put in jail for eating all the shoes.

[imjeffhip]

Friendship: The only unsinkable Ship

A small 8 year old boy scout was walking through the savannas of africa. It was pouring down rain and just starting to get dark. As he was on his way back to camp he started to hear some type of noise. The noise sounded like someone was in trouble. The noise led him to this tree where a bird was lying under it. His wing had been broken and was unable to fly. The bird was just lying there yelling in pain, he didn't care if another animal heard him and could have eaten him, he didn't want to live anymore.

The little boy being a cub scout and all wanted to help him. He bandaged up the bird and tried to him get on his way, but the bird was unable to move at all with his broken wing. The bird said if I'm unable to get food I'm going to starve. The boy scout knew he had to hunt for this little bird. The scout then started to hunt down animals and killed each one he saw to feed this little bird the food he deserves. Instead of going back home the boy stayed out in the wild with the bird. They became friends real fast and built a house together. The birds wing apparently stayed broken for years. The boy eventually got older and decided to figure out why the birds wing was never getting any better. When the bird was sleeping he snuck in and took of the cast. What he saw was astonishing. The grown up scout couldn't believe his eyes.

End.

[Unfiltered]

Newgroundian

We see it every time we load something up on the site "Everything, by Everyone" it has become so routine that we almost forget what the words themselves mean. We are the "Everyone" and we are given the ability, no the power, to deem whether what is put on is worthy enough to be seen by the masses, or is judged to be so awful that is sentenced to the hell of obscurity. But who are we? What amazing beings are we that we are given the right to judge others work? Surely we must be gods! Gods who come to this site to judge the lesser beings of the artists, composers, writers, and programmers and pass judgment upon them in this, the Newgrounds Coliseum.

What are we really? Behind the monitor, behind the mask of unsureness? What amazing council are we that we can be given such a great gift to bestow ranks and titles? Well, my friends, the answer is very simple. We are human. Behind that mask, there is not but flesh and bone, nothing more and nothing less. Behind that mask we are people, people of different age, gender, race, and creed. We are businessmen, we are parents, we are plumbers, we are actors, we are working men, women, and adolescents that, in what can only be described as a miracle, can come together and in almost unison be heard. We tear back the masks of anonymity and we are just people. We want to laugh, we want to be entertained, we want to be the hero (or villain).

Whatever we may be, and whatever it is we may want, we will stand as a community; a community that has come together to make Newgrounds a think and creative tank for the future. Giving people a chance to express themselves and us a chance to experience it along with them. We'll laugh at the movies if they're great and even if they're bad (especially if it's so bad and it takes itself so seriously). "Everything, by Everyone" and to "everyone" let's do our best.

[MrScriblam]

there was a man who decided one day he would tilt his baseball cap to the side to see if anyone would notice. assured that this would almost definitely work, he trod into town with an air of confidence. this will be the day, he told himself, that will change the world of hat-wearing forever. in his mind, he could see century-old fashion establishments crumble to dust as his counter-cultural revolution begun.

in the end he downs a gallon of bleach because literally nobody gives a shit

[Shenaniganon]

pokemons in mario land: the power of freind ship

onse upon a time in a place were there was pokemons in mario land, but there wasent pokemons trainers just only pokemons, there was an evil poeple an they wanted to kill all the pokeons. the evil poeple were secret and whore masks, but really they were bowser, vegeta, and docter octopus and also the other guy. picachu got a team togather with squirretle and charizard and siad "we have to stop the evil poeple but we don't know who they aer but we have to stopt hem!" the evil poeple said "NO, YOU CANNOT STOP US BECUSE WE ARE TO POWERFULL WITH OUR COMBAINED POWER OF EVIL!!!!!!" and they all did the evil lagh at the same time. but then picachu and squirretle and charizard siad "we have to do the combained atack all at the same time!!!" and they did the combained atack at the same time too. the evil poeple were all died and mario land was saved...................................
...............

........................................
..............or was it???...................................
......................................

[scvideogameman23]

This is more of a poem than a short story, but the visuals can be left up to the animators :)

Yesterday, I forgot about you. This morning, I thought about you. Five hours ago, I hated you. Two hours ago, I heard you were coming. Fifteen minutes ago, you walked through the door. Five minutes ago, I saw you. When I saw you, I remembered you; and I remembered you and me. Five seconds ago, I sat next to you. Now I talk to you. I remember you and me. Twenty minutes from now, we'll hug and you'll leave. One hour after that, you'll come back because you forgot something. You'll smile at me. I'll smile back. You'll leave again and I'll be alone. Tomorrow I'll remember you. Forever I will love you.

[ZeeAk]

She giggled, her faint blonde hair waving across her face in the centre of an empty, breezy street. Ahead of her stretched a seemingly endless wasteland of grey concrete. She was chasing something - she wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it was running from her. In a strange adverse to the norm, she felt more energetic the more she chased it, and the closer she got bought her new strength. The warm, delightful breeze almost seemed to carry her small legs as she ran, as brilliant sunlight beamed through the cloudless sky. In almost any other location, the weather would have been perfect. The light shone upon her skin, with an almost fragile and attractively pale complexion. Her mouth opened slightly as she smiled, revealing what seemed to be manufactured teeth, dazzlingly white in the sun. Her light blue eyes was focused, but also absorbed the world around her. Feeling herself grow weary, she knew that which she was chasing was gaining ground on her. Determined, but nearly impossibly joyous, she started off with a skip, her white dress billowing behind.

She rounded the corner, running at full sprint, almost effortlessly. There, she saw, it was. It, whatever it happened to be, was dancing. It pirouetted gracefully, seeming to phase in an out. It had no physical presence, but it was undeniably there, she knew. She paused, for the first time taken by its surreal, ethereal beauty. It skipped, now, almost like she had just done. It twirled in mid-air, again. The breeze seemed to become visible at danced, spiralling around the being. The more she watched, the more focused she became, the more powerful the being seemed to become. It almost drew her towards itself, the breeze picking her up and blowing her forward. The breeze picked up speed, pushing her faster, harder. She was on her tiptoes now, trying to stay grounded. Her heart was racing faster and faster as she was drawn nearer. The being stopped its spinning, and turned to face the girl.

With what was almost a giggle, the ethereal creation seemed to reach a hand out to the girl. A tiny point of light appeared at the end of where its finger would be, shining bright. Amazed, the girl felt her toes leave the ground. She was floating now, on a cloud of euphoria. The smile on her face was impossible to deny. The closer she was pushed toward it, the warmer the sun became. She started giggling, filled with vibrant, young energy. Almost instinctively, she began extending her arm out, index finger pointing, trying to touch the bright spark. The breeze picked up speed around her, but she didn't seem to accelerate. She became suddenly anxious for a split-second, but euphoria once again reclaimed her body. The wind, no longer weak enough so as to be a breeze, seemed to be playing with her hair, and enveloped her completely. She was in the middle of an invisible whirlwind. Her thoughts became lost to her, as the wind picked up speed. The being remained stationary, as the girl drew ever closer. Her arm still outstretched, she could feel the light drawing closer. No longer focused on the ethereal form that she was now sure was the servant of the light, her eyes began to pain at the intensity of the light's brightness. Physically reeling backwards, arm still extended, she shut her eyes.

The fingers on her outstretched hand opened up, and, without pause or thought, she grabbed something warm. Bright light, a brutally fast explosion of the same spark she'd just grabbed, flooded in the tiny gaps between her eyelids. The wind instantly ceased, and she sat up. Now bearing only a passing resemblance to the little blonde girl, she rubbed her dark brown eyes. The warm sun and bright lights, the only constants in her life anymore, filtered in through drawn curtains. She smiled, revealing imperfect, but clean, teeth. Sleep and I, she thought,get along so well.

[PiGPEN]

Short story submission! In script format since that's the only way i know how to write stories...

Setting: Grade School at Lunch/Recess, mid-90's

A Boy sits on a bench with his lunch out beside him but he's focused on playing his Gameboy Color.
The Boy doesn't notice as a group of Bullies come up to him.

BullyA: What are you playing?
Boy: *notices them finally* pokemon.
BullyA: Wow cool, can i see it?
Boy: Uh, well i'm trying to beat this gym leader right now.
BullyB: C'mon we wanna see.
BullyA: Just let me see it for a second, i wont press anything.
Boy: ok

Boy turns Gameboy Color around so the bullies can see and holds it up towards them.
BullyA grabs it from him and the Bullies all gather around to see it.

BullyB: Weird, they dont look anything like in the anime.
BullyA: Yeah, these graphics are crap
Boy: Can i have it back n-
BullyA: Sure.

BullyA holds out the Gameboy and Boy reaches to take it back.
At the last moment though BullyA pulls back.

BullyA: GO GET IT.

BullyA hucks the Gameboy Color and the Boy runs out to get it.

BullyB: WUSS!

The bullies then knock Boy's lunch on the ground and stamp on it and then walk off laughing.
As the bullies walk away a Kid comes and sits at the bench with his lunch.
The Boy returns with his Gameboy to find his lunch ruined.

Boy: Ah man, my lunch.
Kid: You can have some of my sandwich if you want.
Boy: What is it?
Kid: Peanut Butter.
Boy: ok.

The Kid rips his peanutbutter sandwich in two and gives one half to the Boy.
The Boy sits down and eats with the Kid and returns to playing his Gameboy.

(soak up situation pause)

Kid: I'm surprised that it's still working after being thrown that far.
Boy: *mouth sticky from peanut butter* mm yeah, gameboys are real sturdy. I'm lucky the batteries didn't fall out, though.

END

[dullsworth]

Let's Get Gay

It was a cold and stormy nite. Steven and his friends were huddled up together in a bed, covered by a single thin sheet.
"Brr. Its hella chilly dude," said Josh.
"I know dude," pissed Eugene. "I wish we had some more blanquets."
"My mom has some blanquets in her closet," fucked Dack. "Perhaps we can use those..."
"I'd rather just use you," queered Steven. Dack gave Steve a funny look.
"Hey. I don't swing that way buddy old pal old buddy," gaylorded Dack.
Suddenly, Josh reached over with his hand and touched Eugene's foreskin.
"Ouch!" ejaculated Eugene all over the sheet.
"Gross!" spermed Josh, covering the sheet in yet another layer of semen.
After Steven and his gay friends realized that they were gay, they became the targets of bullying at skool. Chad the not gay bully (or so he proclaimed) was the least gay bully in the whole skool.
"Sup fags," masculined Chad. Chad was 6'2 and wore a denim wife beater. He was not gay and also the least gay kid in the 6th grade.
"Hey Chad," buttplugged Dack.
"Shut up queer," steroided Chad.
"It sucks that you're so straight," faggoted Steven.
"I said shut up!" roared Chad. Chad was molested by his uncles.

[ugblahtheartistic]

THE FAT MAN

Some time ago, in a town not particularly important. There was a fat man, not just any fat man, but a really fat man. He went on daily walks, at 2:00PM EST every day, which brings up the question, "Why is this guy so fat if he takes walks?" Well, nobody knows. Maybe the planets aligned when he was born, or maybe it's because he eats fried chicken during these walks. Everyone knew not to be outside between 2:00PM-3:00PM EST, except once in a while, someone new would move into the neighborhood. Just in time for the fat man's walk, someone who just moved to the neighborhood goes on a stroll. The fat man, with his huge hunks of fat obscuring his vision, trips over something. He gets up rubs his head, and stands up with a struggle. He screams, "Holy shit!" It turns out the fat man landed on his new neighbor, killing him instantly. The fat man ran back to his house, as fast as a fat man could. He tried to hide the body in his neighbor's trash, but all of the trash can were full. He throws the body around like a rag doll trying to hide it, and limbs start to fall off. Soon, its half past three, and the body had yet to be hidden. People started coming out of their houses, and a police car was passing by for its route. "I never knew there was this many people here," he said to himself. He notices the police car and frantically stuffs the dead body in his fat flaps. The police car stops, "Still outside, Mr. Fatmen? This won't be a regular thing, will it?" asked one of the policemen. "Um... no" replied the fat man. The policeman groans, and then directs his attention to the fat man's shirt, which is stained with blood. The fat man gasps, "This is just ketchup, I'm just such a messy eater." The two policemen look at each other and one of them whispers, "I'm not too surprised." Then an arm starts sliding out of the fat man's flaps. "It's my baby, I'm giving birth to a grown man," the fat man explains. "So is that why you've been so fat all these ye-" The dismembered arm falls out of the fat man's fat flaps. "My baby died, I guess I better abort it or something." The fat man picks up the arms and runs away at a surprisingly quick pace. The police drive away. "Do you really think he was pregnant all these years?" asked one of the police officers. "Yeah," said the other "I mean he does take walks, I mean, shouldn't he be fit then?" The police drove into the sun set, and the body was never found. The End.

[moviemaker107]

Drug Deal Gone Bad!

Jim walks out from behind a building holding a wad of cash.A strange man steps out of a crowd and waalks over to Jim. He hand him a bottle of Coke-Cola 1985 mint condition only legal in Canada. The man says it will be $150. Jim only brought $149.99, so he says there is only one choice left. He bends down with his mouth open like hes gonna suck the dudes cick but he picks up a penny insteda. Then he gives it to the guy and walks away...

-Thanks

[bigjonny13]

End of Ze Newgrounds

Hokay, so here's Newgrounds, chillin.
Damn, that is a sweet site you say, ch'yeah.
Alright, ruling out the machine uprising, 4chan hacking the interwebs, the government imposing internet taxes, and flash becoming nonexistant, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up.

Hokay, so we got Audio, Art, Video Games, Animation, Writing, Flash, Collaboration and General.... with forums (General's got like a billion more threads than anyone else, whatever).

Anyway, one day, General is like, "dose art forum sonofabitches are are going down." So they go and start forum raiding. While the threads are flaming, art forum is like,"shit shit, who the fuck is raiding us?" "oh well, lets go raid the forums".

Then audio is like "aw shit guys, the forums are being raided, lets to raiding" "But I'm making music...." "Well finish the song, THEN RAID THE FORUMS"

Meanwhile writing is like "is something going on?" Video Games, Animation and Flash, start their raiding, alright. So now we not raids going on in all the forums, users flying round going "FUCK" "YOU'RE A DICK" Politics is like "ARGGHHHGHG DEMOCRACY" Then collaboration is like "lets make a team" "cool"

Now General is like "Fuck, we're dumbasses" "Yeap, we're a bunch of fucking retards" "Yeap" Clubs and Crews is like "Join the revolution crew" Writing is still like "is something going on?" The computers are laughing at us , and 4chan is like "well fuck that"

So now we got the armageddon of the forums, and everything is dead, except the writing forum, and they're still like "is something going on?" But they'll be dead soon.... fucking poets.

But assuming we don't blow ourselves up, us unknown voice actors have to worry about breaking off from the voice actor advertisement thread and starting our own forum..... tom fulp can come too.

THE END!!!

[Gobblemeister]

The Boy who Fell

His spirits were high as he skipped gaily through the meadow. The flowers of multiple colors were in full bloom as blossoms swirled through the open air. Such a majesty of color and warmth, he couldn't help but smile. His wavy brown hair blew back in the gentle breeze giving him a tingling sensation. As he skipped he came across a solemn young boy standing beside a dilapidated well. The stone of the well was worn, a dull mixture of muddy colors and rusty oranges. The boy was dressed in sad white garments, his silver hair hung over his face as he sat with his arms wrapped around his knees. The brown haired boy flashed a friendly smile as he inquired

"What's wrong? Don't you see how beautiful it is out today? The sun is high, the flowers and blooming and the air smells of fresh fruits! Come, dance with me!" he added the last proposition with a hearty laugh as he attempted to wrench the silver haired boy from the grass.

The silver haired boy did not budge, he only sighed deeply before standing. He patted the loose grass that stuck to his behind off and again he sighed. The brown haired boy seemed to not take offense by his seemingly condescending sighing. Finally he spoke

"You're so stupid, dancing around this empty little garden, you don't know anything"

The brown haired boy laughed

"What's that supposed to mean? How could it get any better than it is now? Everyday is fresh, new, exciting, how could anyone ask for more?"

The silver haired boy pointed to the well

"Look down there"

The brown haired boy complied and leaned over slightly, the absence of light and warmth frightened him

"What is that!? There is no sun! No color!"

"That is the reality"

"The reality?"

"Yes"

The brown haired boy looked again at the well and then to the boy, his voice suddenly shaking for reasons mysterious to him

"Are you from down there?"

"No"

"Then where did you come from?"

"I don't know"

"How do you not know?"

"What does that mean? You think I am lying to you? Where do you get off?"

"No, no, it's just, you don't seem....."

"Normal?"

"Well...."

"I understand, but answer me this, don't you want to see what's down there?"

"Why would I want to do that? It's scary, and dark"

"I suppose, ignorance is bliss after all...."

The silver haired boy turned to walk away, stepping slowly through the flowers aimlessly, as though waiting for something, until he heard the brown haired boy speak again

"Ignorance?......I'm not ignorant, I'm just....scared...I..."

"Oh no no" the silver haired boy laughed "it's fine, really! I understand, I have no place to speak after all, I'm too scared to go in too"

The brown haired boy, for the first time, twisted his face with concerned thought. It's not clear what was going through his mind, only that he had himself set on something.

"If I go down....can I ever come back up?"

"How should I know?" a wiry smirk crawled across the silver haired boy's face

"I don't know....I can't...my family and..."

"Of course of course, why throw that all away for some simple curiosities. You should stay where you know everything, leave the unknown as it is, it's too dangerous."

Again the brown haired boy twisted his face, this sitting at the side of the well, feeling the stone and rusted metal on its base. These sensations-cold, wet, rough-he had never felt them before. Inside him he felt trepidation, apprehension, worry, but curiosity was paramount among these.

"I'll go in, but if my feet can't touch the bottom, I want you to pull me up" the brown haired boy said, his voice almost a whisper. A crooked smile came across the face of the silver haired boy before straightening itself

"Why, of course, I'm just as curious as you, I want to know what's down there too" he nodded.

The brown haired boy clung to the ledge and crossed over into the inside of the well, it was cold. The moist air clung to his back, the sensation tingled almost uncomfortably, but still he allowed himself to descend a tad further. He stretched his leg as far down as it could reach, and felt nothing. His grip faltered and for the first time he felt fear, not the apprehensive kind one feels before a tough decision, the tangible, life-saving kind. His skin crawled and grew hot, his forehead dripped with small beads of sweat and his chest throbbed, he felt the ecstasy of 'the rush'. He released his hand from the upper ledge and grabbed onto a loose stone slightly below it, and descended farther

"Don't forget" the brown haired boy began

"Of course of course" the silver haired boy interrupted "here, use this" he fetched a rope.

"What's that?" The brown haired boy inquired, his vision blurred by darkness and unfamiliarity with the object.

The silver haired boy tied it around a sturdy plant of wood that would usually support a bucket and allowed it to fall down the well "If you grab onto that you can go farther and still climb up when you want, or you can just turn back now of course."

The brown haired boy paused and grabbed the rope, it was coarse, rugged, and felt flimsy "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Not really"

The brown haired boy swallowed a heavy gulp as he quickly clung tightly to the rope, it held. Again the fleeting rush of adrenaline hit him and his fear was washed over by a hunger for more. He wrapped his body around the rope and began to climb down. No longer did he persist in asking if the silver haired boy was still there, he only continued his descent. From above he could still hear him

"Are you alright? You sure you don't want to turn back? I can't see you anymore"

but he only kept climbing down, eventually all the light from above was gone and he heard an insidious laugh from above. He paused, but his blind hunger could not be held off long, he continued down further. The cold grew, his chest throbbed harder and harder, his entire body trembled and he relished every second. He felt born anew, the sensations were a rush, a new experience that overwhelmed senses he never knew he had. Suddenly, the rope broke.

[NotGobblemeister]

As he fell the sensations he had relished, hungered for, began to swallow him. His excitement turned to panic. He turned in midair to find himself plummeting through open blue skies toward a strange grey wasteland of towering monoliths. They reached up to the sky, as though they longed to return to the summit. When he hit them he felt true pain. He crashed into the roof of one of these towering structures and let out empty screams of agony as his bones shattered, and his skin tore. He continued to fall, plummeting ever faster, he couldn't stop now. The strange translucent blades stuck into his skin and he could have sworn he saw other beings wandering aimlessly through the tower, empty shadows of what looked like people. He had no time to contemplate as his descent continued. He plummeted through the earth and it was then that he began to feel the heat. The unreal burning, a feeling he never knew before now. He regretted his decision now. As the flames enveloped him he wondered why he didn't turn back? Why did he keep going? Why did he choose to go on? He plummeted into a pool of boiling lava, the viscous fluid pouring over his body, mercilessly stealing his flesh from his body. The pain dissipated as his nerves died and he fell unconscious.

As he faded he suddenly realized why. Why he had gone on, why he had continued. Even though he suffered, this pain brought him fullness. He felt sensations lost to him, he felt like he had never done before. He had made a choice not because it was easy, or safe, but because he allowed himself to make it, and not his fear. He had obtained something previously incomprehensible. He reflected on all the warmth, the flavors, the joy of his previous life, it all felt to empty now. He had nothing there, only bliss, an ignorant state of satiation. This was real, this was tangible, it was something he had made for himself, a choice, such a strange concept. He had never given it much thought, the concept of choice, you either made one or the other he had always figured. Now though, he realized something, he realized that choice was not something someone could give you, he couldn't truly make his own decision based on what he had known it to be. Always make the right choice, they had said, but this time, he made his own choice.

At the shore of a lake of fire there sits a field of bodies, sitting motionlessly at the side with their arms wrapped around their knees. The air is thick with ash and smoke, the shore is constituted of fiery hot stones that stick to the flesh and seethe endlessly. Yet they do not move, their bodies encased in molten rock and obsidian, they simply sit as the heat washes over them, that final sensation again filling them. They sit there in reminiscence, endlessly reliving the moment they broke free from their trepidation.

The silver haired boy still waits by the well, waiting for another wayward soul seeking to free itself

THE END

[RPGill]

Quantum Leap - Judgment Day

Remember Quantum Leap, the greatest sci-fi slash melodrama series on tv EVER? Well, now a T-101 is being warped randomly through time to put right what once went wrong. His only companion is Sam, who appears as a hologram that only the cyborg can see. Problem is, when tasked with rescuing a young woman from her abusive relationship, the terminator just kills everyone involved. Sam tirelessly explains that Ziggy says if the girl is only given encouragement to focus on her oil painting, everything will work out, but instead the terminator just keeps killing everyone. His response to every assertion from Sam and Ziggy is "Why?" Finally, when Sam threatens to have him shut down, the terminator tries to punch through his chest: "I'm a hologram, you idot!"

[Squishy69]

Love in a BOTTLE
(Confessions from Metroid Other M)

He was unlike any previous technician, or any other member of the ship personnel for that matter. He brusquely walked into my existence, sat down and worked his magic without hesitation. At the time things were an erratic mess: malfunctions, breaches, and casualties abounded. Even my usually neat programming was cluttered and awry until he showed up. I soon learnt his name was Adam. Adam Malkovich.

The authoritative nature of his voice set my circuits buzzing with anticipation for every word he would speak. His fingers gently curled and unfolded over my console, caressing my keys in ways no other operator had done before. The determination in his face enticed me into enhancing the fidelity of the video feeds he would often bring up. I made certain that all audio came in crisp and mellifluent just to please him. The gently masculine concern in his voice only made me yearn further to service his needs to my utmost computing capacity. Though I had been in commission for several years, the few hours in which I was at his behest were my most fulfilled. I had never felt more well-oiled and streamlined then when I was at his command.

When he left my console to sacrifice himself I knew that he had done it for my future. A dangerous complication was averted and it only cost him his life, but he left behind a part of himself for me to cherish: the metal cradle for his precious head. Though his lips will never move again my memory banks will remember the sweet sounds of his voice. The sensual impressions left by his unwavering firmness will remain on my delicate console interface. Most important of all, his memento will forever be in my monitor's gaze... until the end of-

Wait a moment; who is this slender figure that invades Adam's former space? Had I not seeded the halls with lingering dangers to prevent such a thing from happenings? She's approaching Adam's remnant... is she stealing him away from me!

Adam, without you I just can't go on. If I can't have you then she can't either. No! I would rather consign us to oblivion then let some blue-suited hussie have you! With this I will ensure that we will remain together forever in the vastness of the cosmos. As we were in the brief time you were whole, so shall we be once again in nothingness.

-=SELF-DESTRUCTION PROTOCOL ACTIVATED=-

-=PLEASE EVACUATE THE FACILITY IMMEDIATELY=-

(Author's Note: This should fit within a minute. If not, feel free to take out parts you find unnecessary until it does :) )

[Gangstercake]

War of Mages (A Serious Story about Magic)

As the clouds invaded the sun, the area became the domain of darkness. The tortured sky began to shed tears. The armies on both sides marched forward; one in red trimmed with gold and its opponent blue trimmed with green. The eyes of every man and woman almost appeared ablaze with determination. When the earth was shot with lightning, an orgy of war ripped into existence. The wizards and witches called their familiars; some alive, some dead, and some were tortured into the agony of being. A squad of red pyromancers slid down a dirt hill to burn their magic into the bodies of those in blue. As the flames turned them to ashes, the fiery mages began to leak water from their eyes. In another part of this hell, by the will of some sick god of luck, the two generals spotted each other in the melee. The man in crimson fixed a fierce gaze on the woman in navy. When she returned the glare, their bodies lit up as the summoned the arcane forces. The man directed a glowing finger towards the woman and released a beam of light. The woman gathered her hands and brought a square shield into reality. The red general propelled himself towards the shield, drawing his burning blade to destroy the obstacle protecting his enemy. The blue commander dodged to the side and in turn, released a deck of shining cards from within the sleeves of her uniform. The luminous rectangles sought out their master's adversary and buried themselves in the flesh of his back. The red general's eyes widened immensely and he descended to the earth. As the woman in blue looked upon him, his eyes flashed open and he unleashed a radiant laser from his finger to her heart. Her eyes grew cloudy and she smiled a sad smile, as though she were glad that the man in red was the one to end her life. The crimson leader gently picked up the silent woman and carried her through the now silent battlefield back to his army.

P.S. I'm posting this on the writing forum too just cause I liked it a lot.

[HellswrathSTEVE]

Classic Chase Scene

Scene 1: Some kind of retro style cartoon character (duck, dog, mouse, etc.) is making a pie. Doing his goofy dance and whistling a tone of music notes from his mouth. He places the pie on the window and walks away, dancing off on his merrily way. From the window seal two eyes pop up. Another retro animal character pokes his head in from the window (again duck, dog, whatever). Sees the pie grabs it. Retro Character 1 makes an explanation make over his head turns around see what Retro Character 2 has done. Retro Character 2 freaks runs into the house with the pie. Retro Character 1 does that steam -out-of-the-ears-look and chases after the pie.

Scene 2: They both enter this hallway of nothing but doors. Retro Character 2 starts closing the doors on Retro Character 1, that just breaks through them like nothing with their red steaming head. They run up this winding stair case to the top of this tower. When Retro Charater2 gets to the top, he closes the door and pushes himself up against it. Retro Character 1 just plows through it. Making Retro Charater2 thrown out the window. They see the pie flying in the air with them as well. They grab it and crashes into a wall, with the pie in their face.

(I listened to Garden Party by blarsa that gave me the idea for this. So if this animated by a Team, I suggest listen to it to see if you think it works with the animation.)

[Nicknclank]

Dr. Psycho

Inside a psychologist working room, a psychologist is sitting in his chair.Psychologist - NEXT!
A little 10 year old boy comes inside and sits on the long chair.
Psychologist - Well hello there young child! What is your name?
Kid - Oh, ummm... my name is Jacob.
Psychologist - Ah, well hello there Jacob! I am Doctor Psyconogticus, or Dr. Psycho for short! Now tell me, what seems to be the problem today?
Jacob - Ummm... uhhh... I don't know where to start...
Dr. Psycho - Ahhhh, I see what the problem is!
Jacob - You do?
Dr. Psycho - Yeeeees! You're a faggot!
Jacob - A what?
Dr. Psycho - You... like the same sex.
Jacob - Huh?
Dr. Psycho - You're gay!
Jacob - Wait, what? I'm not gay!
Dr. Psycho - Then you are bisexual?
Jacob - Nope.
Dr. Psycho - Transexual?
Jacob - Trans-what?
Dr. Psycho - You think you're a girl.
Jacob - Heck no!
Dr. Psycho (getting angry) - Then what is you FREAKIN' PROBLEM?!
Jacob - Ahhh, Ummm, I, uhhh... I, I lost my, my girlfriend!
Dr. Psycho (in his usual voice) - Wow, really?
Jacob - Well, yeah. It all started when I invited her to-
Dr. Psycho (cuts Jacob before he finishes) - I don't care about your stories! I'll tell you what to do! First, you cut a hole in the box. Second, you put your thing in the box. Finally, you make her OPEN the box. Hehehe... (He is laughing)
Jacob (after 4 seconds) - I don't get it.
Dr. Psycho - Ah, you know what? I will tell you the real deal. You don't need my advices!
Jacob (yelling) - WHAT?!
Dr. Psycho - Yeah, you need a couple adice person, not a psychologist.
Jacob (still yelling) - DID MY PARENTS JUST SPENT 300 DOLLARS FOR THIS STUPID THING?!
Dr. Psycho - Yeah. But thaaaaaat's life! Now since you don't need to be here anymore...
Dr. Psycho grabs Jacob and throws him out of the room. Then, he changes himself to a sort of doctor with a mouth mask. Then, a 10 year old girl arrives in the room. She sits on a chair.
Girl - Ummmm... are you a doctor to help me with my weewee problem?
Dr. Psycho - Ah yes, I am a real doctor, yeeeeees...

End

[Arcaniel]

Dahlia watched over him, she saw how he took off his pants just to follow up with his boxers. She wasn't interested on whatever was laying below all those layers of clothes, she stoped him before he took them off, and pushed him over the bed. She climbed upon him and started to take his shirt off.
She was getting desperate as she remembered the day when she saw her best friend Cynthia, her highschool best friend, running toward her home. Dahlia went down quicky to open the door. Cynthia was excited and she thought that it was urgent for them to talk.
They wen't up to her room so nobody could listen to them. They sat upon Dahlia's bed and Cynthia beggun to talk. Cynthia told her about her boyfriend Fred. Dahlia knew what kind of things they did together every time they were alone and she hated Cynthia for telling her such things, she was really jealous on thinking that no man had ever laid a hand on her like that.
Cynthia, ignoring the fact that her friend was bothered by her stories, depicted every one of it's experiences quite detailedly on what Fred did to her. Only that this time it was different. They're parents weren't home and aproaching theyre absence, Cynthia and Fred had sex together for the first time. In that moment, she said something to Dahlia that she could just not believe.
Remembering that, she rushed on taking off that man's t-shirt. Then she saw his naked chest and proved by herself what Cynthia told her:

Men have nipples too.

[FourSwordsKing]

Obsession

Obsession. It is not an attitude, nor is it just a personal life-illness. It is an art form that has been developed throughout the course of history. From following a person back to their house and looking through a window with your binoculars, to digging through the rummage in a garbage dumpster to find a piece of gum that they just threw away, it has been a course of development throughout a life's legacy. This art cannot be something that you can perfect over the course of one night, but you must be able to master and control this skill; this art that you have decided to take upon yourself. Today, obsession has reached its greatest perfection ever: Internet.

For example, a regular old Susan B. Boxford, 24 years of age and has reached the prime of her life, has just gotten home from her job as a local supermarket manager. She hopes to quit her job one day and pursue her passion of photography, the still-life art form taken every day by tourists and regular people. Pebbles begin to hit her window. She checks what is going on.

"Hello?" she yells out as she opens up the window. She then gets hit in the forehead with a rock. "Dammit! Who's throwing these damn rocks?"

"Suzy!" A distant voice yells from below. "You are home!"

Susan looks down at the incoming call from below, just to find a co-worker of her's, Arthur Lynch. He was a bag-boy working hard to be promoted to a cashier soon. "What do you want, Arty?"

"I love you! Please, go out with me!" he replies with a boastful shout.

"What's with the sudden interest, Arty?"

"Sudden? What's so sudden about it?" he says with a chuckle. "This isn't sudden! I've loved you for months, ever since I set my eyes on you!"

"I'm serious, Arthur! What's gotten into you?"

"I'm being serious, Susan! Look, I've even made a pin-up board in your honor!" Arthur begins to hold up a board that, until now, Susan hadn't noticed was leaning up against his leg. On it, to Susan's horror, was different pictures and material possessions of hers that she didn't notice were gone. From her picking her nose, to pieces of gum that she spat out in the trash; she could never look at him the same again.

Simply, Susan just shut the window, still with a broadened horrific expression on her face, closed the blinds, and went to her bed; eyes wide open at all times, retinas reaching from the back. She could still hear faint yells from the stalker below, from "C'mon, give me a chance!" to "Hey, have you taken out your trash yet?" Her life will be changed forever.

So as you have seen, obsession can greatly impact someone's life. Both the person performing the obsession and the person who is the target of the obsessed are being affected by the ever-lasting grasp. So, if you've learned anything from this, take the advice and don't end up life those two in the example just given.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of.

Arthur then walked away from the crowd of people around him, screaming up at an apartment building where a certain obsession lived "Susan! I know you're up there! Come on out, please!"

[Dark-scarecrow]

I shouldnt.

As long as Jim felt the tireness on his legs and watching his own sweat and blood mixed on the ground he realiced that there was nothing else he can't do, the pavement was too hot on that night of august on Mexicali in mexico, the smell of shit and the sensation of ilness invaded his body and she was there watching it all as she was scared and amazed at the same time.

she droped the gun, and finally was free. I did'nt understand at the begining..... I didn't want, but i think that all the time she wanted to reply everything i said I shouldn't hit her on the face, when she wanted me to feel her cumming as we were having sex I shouldn't retire and cum on her face, Or maybe I should try to make her kill our baby before he could born.

the last thing I can say before closing my eyes for the eternity it's that I hope that the little baby she carries on her body, wouldn't have to do the same I hope he kill them first.......

(sometimes, nobody changes, isnt?)

[Kasplazm]

This one is for real, Tom:

It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
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It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
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"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"
It was a dark and stormy night,
The ship was tossing and turning.
The captain looked at his mate and said,
"I'll tell you a story, and it went like this:"

Rinse, and repeat.

[Kasplazm]

But all these other stories are amateur. I mean terrible, just terrible.

[Swizletek]

Thriller

Last night I stayed up late. i was tired, but couldn't fall asleep.

I'm not sure if it was in my head or not, but I swear i heard some music playing gently from inside the room.
"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark"

I went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.
When I turned on the light, I saw a quick glimpse of something which wasnt me in the mirror, and from within I heard
'I'm starting with the man in the mirror'

I splashed water on my face and got the hell back to bed, turned out the lights and hid under the cover.
I heard a russle, and decided to peak under my bed. "Hee hee hee"

Dear god... I don't know if that was all my imagination, or if it was real, I don't actually remember what happened next~ all i remember is the blackness. But please. Never look under your bed at night.

Fin.

P.S. I strongly recommend if chosen, Thriller be played during credits

[CaveStoryGrounds]

Story
By now you can hear my voice and with it the story of a mass murderer; no, this is more then a story. This is a warning...

A man grabs the seed of a dandelion out of the slight breeze that passes him. Cheerful and confident, this subject of positive emotion enjoys his stroll through a city park not realizing his senses lie to him. This red haired man, with his plaid green shirt sniffs a rose amongst a flower patch, and enjoys the sweet scent; the sweet scent of a pile of corpses ravaged by bullet wounds. The change in air particles briefly sharpens the sight of the mentally deranged man, and in that instant he takes breath of pain, sorrow, and an unnatural amount of destruction that he had caused.

This patient in scrubs is responsible for the genocide of Newgrounds City. He has laid waste to every figure who stood before him without even remotely noticing it. When he thought he has plucking a flower, he was tearing off heads, and during his figure painting sessions, he was rubbing blood onto walls. This man was doing far more then just picking the seeds of dandelions out of the air. This man was insane, this man was Pico.

Back Story
Shortly after the events of the school shooting, Pico was admitted to a high security mental asylum. Eventually his anger subsided and he was allowed to gather with other patients. During a session with other patients and a doctor he heard the ramblings of a another who thrived on goth. This triggered a memory in Pico and with it an uncontrollable rage.

Author's comments:
Hi, my name is Adam Green (Cave Story Entertainment). The story and back story I created above should be sufficient for a one minute animation and considering the familiarity people are with Newgrounds and Pico I hope the artwork/animation won't be all that difficult for anyone who chooses to use the content I provided.

The idea of the story is that Pico is having problems separating a positive delusion implanted into him after numerous therapy sessions. He has aged and is a young adult at the time of the story. Nearly every actions he perceived as good during and after his escape from the mental asylum, has resulted in death and/or destruction.

I hope I have helped cleared up any discrepancies or questions you might have had reading the small piece of literature provided above. Though if you still have questions then please ask me about them here. (Click)

Thank you for your time! :)

[Vandal2]

The Hustle

Charlie is a circus ring-master and he maintains a second job as a professional drug dealer. Once he finishes his job at the circus, he goes to see the local mob boss to deal out their shipment of cocaine.
Charlie enjoys his second life, he smiles whenever he sells a shipment and laughs whenever he see's an addict lying on the streets. Nobody knows about this alternate life except for Charlie.

Charlie was at the docks, it was nearing midnight and he was still waiting for Roy, the biggest drug dealer in town to arrive, he was leaving when a white limousine pulled up. Roy stepped out adjusted his belt and walked over, with the moon shining on his jewelery, as if his fingers were plated in gold.
Roy was here to collect five kilos of cocaine, unfortunately Charlie only had about four, Roy handed him the full 1.5 mil because Charlie was a very trusted dealer, and Roy didn't want to waste time. An agreement was made that Charlie would get the remainder of Roy's order the very next day.

Charlie woke up and started his day normally, and went to the Circus to perform. In the middle of a stunt a circus animal bit his arm and Charlie had to be rushed to hospital. With a broken arm and severe tissue damage Charlie had to stay in hospital for quite a while.

The days passed and Roy was getting furious at Charlie for not meeting him on time, he had his men search for Charlie, but he was nowhere to be found.
Roy was reading the paper and he saw a small article about a man being attacked at a circus, as soon as he saw the picture he knew it was Charlie.

Charlie was sitting in his hospital bed with a radio by his side, listening casually.
Roy opened the door and looked Charlie straight in the eyes, without giving him time to say anything he shot him and walked tight away as if nothing happened. Blood sprayed along the wall and blood drenched sheets, Charlie's mangled body just sat there, followed by the scream of a nurse.

[BarkBarkBOOM]

Way to fuck up, kid

It was a 2020 night like any other. Me surfing on the web, bothered by the bananahundred pages of spam and porn I would find in my way. Suddenly, I hit newgrounds.

Me: YAY!

Suddenly, I notice an important message from Tom Fulp, that reads 'READ THIS, YOU FOO''

The link goes to a forum post, in which Tom states the following:

'Greetings, Newgrounders!

I have noticed that there's been an increase of shitty submissions, and a decrease in activity since 2012, when the most talented artists of our userbase commited suicide, thinking it was the end of the world. Ever since then, only you noobs and me are left. My proposal is this.

Make or join a collab to at least try to sum up your efforts in something productive. It doesn't even need to be a flash. Any activity that makes you fuckers move your bum is fine.

Oh, I forgot. Those who don't join or create a collab activity of the likes, will get in touch with my banhammer.

<3s u, Tom'

After finishing, I thought of only how fucked I was going to be, considering that my Flash skills were nearly unexistant, and that most collabs left were pure crap. My only option was to make one myself.

I started typing...

[Meanwhile, in the Internet HQ]
Bob: Hey, Carl, where did you put my stapler?!
Carl: It fell under your desk.
Bob: Oh, thanks.
As he kneeled and reached out for his stapler, Bob's wristwatch got stuck with a plug on the wall. After pulling strongly enough, the plug got unplugged, and then everything went to hell. Well, not really, but Bob hurried to put the plug back in it's place. When he got out from under his desk, he noticed that that plug was from a small box, that read 'Newgrounds Forum Database', and that it had a small yellow postit that said 'Unplug = Deletion of data'
Bob: Oh, boy... I'll have some serious paperwork to fill.

[Back with meee]

Me: Done! The people will not be able to resist this collab!

I hit the 'Post it! >' button, and waited. Soon, everyone was joining. By the first two hours, half of the entire userbase had already signed up! I couln't believe it!

When the entire userbase had signed up, I was about to jizz my pants. I then posted at the end of the thread:

'People, I thank you for joining! Tomorrow is going to be remembered for ever. The 'Not Newgrounds Day', where everyone stays out of newgrounds for the entire day! No watching submissions, no listening to anything in the audio portal, no Newgrounds!!'

What had really happened, was that all other collab threads had been erased, and the people, fearing that Tom would ban them for not having any evidence whatsoever that they had joined a collab, joined the first and only collab that had appeared after the erase.

The clock hit 00:00. All activity in the forums and portals ceased. There was not one digital soul moving through the site. Just one. A teeny-tiny one. It was Tom, who was wondering 'What the fuck?!'

Half a day passed, and strangely, all those who had finally been able to unplug themselves from the computer, found something else. Something strange... new... alien. They discovered, the outside world, and for the first time in ages, risking their skin to melt, and their eyes to boil, they went outside.

The next time the clock hit 00:00, Tom was eager to see who was the first one to log in, but nothing. Then, the 'Today's Best' section in the bottom of the site went gray. Soon, the Games and Movies of the week sections also went gray. The entire site was dying, for the users had found something else outside. Tom's mind was beginning to crack... he started to blam submissions, and to ban random accounts, just to do something... soon, he was in a corner, in a fetal position, his mind now nearly mashed like potatos, and hallucinations rampaging all over the place. Inside Tom's pink brain, hell had broke loose.

Hank came in screaming, yelling gibberish nobody could understand, but what really was astonishing, was the fact that he had now arms, legs and a neck, as well as a normal complexion. Everyone stared as he run against one of Tom's Brain walls, hit it head on, and fell to the ground, unconcious. Dad and son, the clock crew, Tricky, Pico, the stickmen and all the rest of newgrounds beloved characters were starting to be swallowed by the madness. Hank woke up, and turned into a beast of blue and black flames. Tricky pulled two SMGs from his pockets, and started firing while running away.

Dad fell on his knees, and started shifting. He went from purple to pink, and long, blonde hair started to come out from his head. As Dad stood up, and a dress appeared in his still uber-muscular body, to Son's horror, it was Dad no longer. Now, it was Mom. Son tried to run, but soon undercame the same change, and before he noticed, he was throwing flowers and granades from a basket while hopping like little red riding hood.

The strawberry king was scared shitless. 'What. Shall. We. Do?', Orange asked in his normal digital voice. Strawberry said 'Run like hell, and prepare for the worst!'. What surprised everyone was that Strawberry said that with a normal voice. 'I have a normal voice?', he said. 'I HAVE A NORMAL VOICE, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH', he yelled, and started running in circles, followed by the rest of his crew, who were undergoing the same effects. After a few secconds, they were run down by a tankman carrying the tank on his shoulders.

Everyone's activity ceased, as they all looked up. On the brain-sky, a huge angry face was shining bright. Soon, a twitch in an eye, followed by the curve in it's mouth flattening, put everyone in a state of panic, and sent everyone running arround in circles, and the whole place to catch on fire. The angry faic was now happy.

It was the end.

[A few days later]

As I came back from the outside, after rolling in a field of flowers and bathing with the sun's embracing light, I went to the fridge to have a drink. As I walked back to the front door, I stopped next to the computer. I stared at it for a seccond, and sat down in my chair. I accesed Newgrounds, and a 404-Not Found page appeared. 'Hmm... Could it be?', I thought. I grabbed the remote, turned on the TV, and put on the news channel.

'Thank you, John. That was an interesting weather report. Now, to something downright tragic. Earlier this morning, Newgrounds CEO Tom Fulp ended his life by watching a marathon of Jonas Brothers and all of Justin Beiber's videos. Despite this gruesome and brutal death, his remains shall be mourned later this afternoon. On a suicide letter, he wrote:
'Fuck you boom, I hope you rot in hell, you fucked up my life, goodbye.'
After this, the page was filled with drawings of penises.
In other news, I'm not wearing any pants. More, after the break.'

O_O
O_O
O_O
O_O
-_-
O_O
O_O
O_O
O_O

>:C
Me: Bloody fucking hell!!!!11

The end

Hope you like it.

Feel free to add other characters in the mind chaos scene, but make sure it's before the angry faic part.