This is probably the first thread I've read where I was right when I guessed the rest of the title.

So..... your dick is like flat or something? Have you ever measured it's circumference?

I don't think your telling the truth though.

At 4/3/10 04:53 PM, Luis wrote: lol am i wrong for wanting to see this ran over mushroom dick?

Since when the fuck did you post on the BBS?!?!

At 4/3/10 04:53 PM, Alex12345269 wrote: I bet your girlfriend eats a lot of dick since she considers yours to be small.

You're right, she wouldn't want my mushroom dick. Your tits are much closer to a dick.

At 4/3/10 04:53 PM, Luis wrote: lol am i wrong for wanting to see this ran over mushroom dick?

Its completely normal that is why we watch BME pain Olympics

Don't post pictures of people without their approval. images deleted.

OP, if you want SERIOUS advice, go to this thread: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1803 60

other than that, I think the lot of us want to keep troll this thread... if you (OP) find that odd, just re-read what you wrote. it's pretty a darn hilarious story... :3

At 4/3/10 05:00 PM, Rucklo wrote: other than that, I think the lot of us want to keep troll this thread... if you (OP) find that odd, just re-read what you wrote. it's pretty a darn hilarious story... :3

No it isn't. This girl did something mean but I just need advice she's fucking hot but I don't know yet.

At 4/3/10 04:48 PM, Homie-Z wrote:
This is what she looks like:

Fuuuuck. Duuuude, she looks like a dude.

Srsly

At 4/3/10 05:01 PM, Homie-Z wrote:

No it isn't. This girl did something mean but I just need advice she's fucking hot but I don't know yet.

you want dating advice, FROM NEWGROUNDS HAHAHAHAHAHAHH

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way. Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600. The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen. Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November. They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

You know what to do. MUSHROOM STAMP

Tell her your dick is better than her fishy smelling vagina.

At 4/3/10 04:53 PM, Luis wrote: lol am i wrong for wanting to see this ran over mushroom dick?

It's ok Luis. Me too.

At 4/3/10 05:03 PM, Callum123456 wrote:

At 4/3/10 05:00 PM, Rucklo wrote: Don't post pictures of people without their approval. images deleted.

How do you know he didn't have permission?

basically noone ever have permission to post images of ppl they know RL, and most often they do so because they wanna ridicule the person in question one way or another.
i try to use the mod-tools using common sense more than "the book", most ppl understand that.

I took the liberty to remake your sig-pic, OP... I hope you like it! :3

At 4/3/10 05:01 PM, Homie-Z wrote:

At 4/3/10 05:00 PM, Rucklo wrote: other than that, I think the lot of us want to keep troll this thread... if you (OP) find that odd, just re-read what you wrote. it's pretty a darn hilarious story... :3

No it isn't. This girl did something mean but I just need advice she's fucking hot but I don't know yet.

Nope, she's fucking not. Trust me duuuuude. Unless you're a desperate sonovamotha, leave the bitch. You can get girls like those on the sidewalk.

In fact, I think I may have seen her once...

Never worry too much about whatever they might say about a man's penis. An attentive man, who knows what women really want only really needs to get it right with his fingers anyway, the penis bit is mainly for the man. You can pee with it can't you? If you screw with it, it works doesn't it? Actually, don't answer those questions! You gotta wonder just how many real ones she has seen to compare it with anyway. If she has seen so many that she is any expert, she sounds like a bit of a slapper. If she hasn't then what does she know?
People say a lot of things they shouldn't. Certainly, she shouldn't go around saying stuff to other people, but its not the end of the world. People move on, so can you. Don't talk about it and drop the subject politely if it comes up, its not worth talking about. One day you will laugh about this- no really, you will, however long it takes!
If that IS her picture you shouldn't have put it on here, someone might recognise it and this is a very personal matter- two wrongs don't make a right.
It doesn't matter what she looks like, if she continues to be bitchy she is not worth it. If you can pull one good looking girl, you can pull another, if that is really important to you.

At 4/3/10 05:01 PM, Homie-Z wrote:

At 4/3/10 05:00 PM, Rucklo wrote: other than that, I think the lot of us want to keep troll this thread... if you (OP) find that odd, just re-read what you wrote. it's pretty a darn hilarious story... :3

No it isn't. This girl did something mean but I just need advice she's fucking hot but I don't know yet.

I gave you a link to the relasionship crew, i suggest you go there and try to get some serious advice instead. it should be pretty obvious by now that 95% of the General forum regulars are trolls who loves to laugh at other peoples mistakes/unfortune/whatever (including me) :3

WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM OR TO PUT YOU DOWN, REALLY, WE JUST LIKE TO HAVE FUN. :(
i'm sorry if i've offended you some way. i just can't help myself, NG BBS have finally made it's way and darkened my soul. :(

At 4/3/10 05:12 PM, IceDragon64 wrote:
Blah Blah (something about fingers) Blah

Naw, duuuuude. Forget that shit, the tongue is your greatest weapon.

It's like a mini-whip. Only sexier.

And wet.

At 4/3/10 05:14 PM, Rucklo wrote:

WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM OR TO PUT YOU DOWN, REALLY, WE JUST LIKE TO HAVE FUN. :(
i'm sorry if i've offended you some way. i just can't help myself, NG BBS have finally made it's way and darkened my soul. :(

Rucko dont be a pussy!

At 4/3/10 05:16 PM, Master117chief wrote:

At 4/3/10 05:14 PM, Rucklo wrote:

WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM OR TO PUT YOU DOWN, REALLY, WE JUST LIKE TO HAVE FUN. :(
i'm sorry if i've offended you some way. i just can't help myself, NG BBS have finally made it's way and darkened my soul. :(

Rucko dont be a pussy!

stfu, i'm trolling >:(

At 4/3/10 05:17 PM, Rucklo wrote:

stfu, i'm trolling >:(

Good Man.

Dump her, sure. She's ridiculed you and told a bunch of people about an intimate subject only you and her should know about. She seems cruel, and continuing to go out with her would only do more damage to your fragile self-esteem.

And don't be a fucking child and kill yourself over someone poking fun at your penis. My god, you're 18 man. You should know how insignificant things like this eventually dissipate--you won't be hearing about it soon enough.

oh hey look at that 60 replies already (technically 61 now)

At 4/3/10 05:22 PM, psychicpebble wrote:

At 4/3/10 05:17 PM, psychicpebble wrote: So did I.

I've out done myself again.

lol. you should try it ouy :3

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/archi ve/index.php/t-220334.html

At 4/3/10 05:22 PM, psychicpebble wrote: I've out done myself again.

I would, at the very least.

mmmmmm...

OP has a small dick.

sorry but theres nothing you can do. Its what u were born with, you cant do anything about it. You just have to realize that from here on out your life is going to be full of fail.

you could always take on a hobby and try to forget about girls.

Or maybe you can fall in love one day and maybe she wont care about your lil smokie.

Yeeaaahhhhh. Kill yourself. Or use viagra.

It just goes to show you that there are much worse things than being a virgin... like having a mushroom/flattened sausage for a penis.

So wait, she made fun of you, told all her friends about it, now you're probably the laughing stock of your school/town/block/house/stable and you're still thinking about dumping her?

Each day you stick with her, is probably another day that people will see how much of an idiot you are for continuing with a girl that just makes fun of you.
Just dump the bitch and say she had shit on her panties or something. SERIOUSLY.

And now, not so seriously, GRAB YOUR MOTHAFUCKIN MASHRUM DICKUH AND STICK THAT RAN OVER SAUSG IN HER ASS D00D.

Oh, and grab her cock. (of course).

At 4/3/10 04:19 PM, Homie-Z wrote: She told her friends, who told my friends.

Well, she did a dick move, so what?

Pun intended.