Are relationships genuinely hard?

[UnheardScream]

I'm single right, never had a proper relationship, all that shit, so maybe I'm just misinformed, but it seems to me that people totally suck when it comes to relationships.

Intelligent people turn into retarded babbling fools when they find that special someone, and it makes no sense to me. It really isn't hard to see what women want, it isn't hard to say what they want to hear, and it isn't hard to express your feelings to them if they're being irrational. Not with someone who genuinely cares for you and reciprocates the feelings you have for them, anyway.

So why can't people appreciate what they have more, and enjoy it, be honest, and open? Too many people are in destructive relationships, and they seem complacent to be so, because even though they have many horrible arguments and wish they weren't a couple, they have wonderful glimpses of happiness. but it isn't right. It's damaging, it hurts you psychologically, it hurts the friends who try to be there for you, and hurts future relationships.

It can't be that hard to cut and run from a relationship like that, right? Is the rollercoaster of emotions really better than the search for someone who you truly are right for? Isn't it better to search for someone who can be with in constant happiness, rather than sporadically?

[Glowstick-warroir]

if your doing it right then a relationship makes your life easier, less stressful. and all that possitive stuff. that's the point of a relationship.

[UnheardScream]

At 5/10/09 01:02 PM, Glowstick-warroir wrote: if your doing it right then a relationship makes your life easier, less stressful. and all that possitive stuff. that's the point of a relationship.

Then why have I never met anyone who has had a relationship by your definition? Why are they all happy to be part of something horrible and ugly? Is sex that good?

[Meepster]

Because media is 90% atheist?

[UnheardScream]

At 5/10/09 01:03 PM, Meepster wrote: Because media is 90% atheist?

What does that even mean?

[Glowstick-warroir]

At 5/10/09 01:03 PM, UnheardScream wrote: Then why have I never met anyone who has had a relationship by your definition? Why are they all happy to be part of something horrible and ugly? Is sex that good?

yes. sex is just that good for some people.

The other side of a relationship is to be happy with the person your with. I've dated bitches that had more baggage deviver internatoinal airports lost and found. but at least they could make me smile. so, secound to that being in a relatoinship should make you happy.

Also, some people do it just because the feel the need to date some one

but it depends on a lot of things. like if you two are right for each other, and you "get" eachother. and how much you care.

[UnheardScream]

At 5/10/09 01:51 PM, Otto wrote: Mine's perfect and there's not a thing I would change, honestly, I'm living the dream. Everyone else is an unfortunate moron, so it seems.

It makes me happy to see that some people know what's good for them.

[Bacchanalian]

At 5/10/09 01:02 PM, Glowstick-warroir wrote: if your doing it right then a relationship makes your life easier, less stressful. and all that possitive stuff. that's the point of a relationship.

Actually... the point of all relationships, be they intimate or impersonal is affirmation. Concentrating the subsequent dissonance on a single person exaggerates aversion and attraction - positive and negative feelings.

[Viridis]

Relationships = Sex

[Zombified]

Me and my girlfriend have had some rough patches the past little while, but things are getting back on track. Things are finally looking up.

[sven647]

It's usually the drama type people.

[Achilles2]

People don't know the right mindset to have in a relationship.

They either get really submissive in hopes that their partner doesn't cheat on them, which ends up happening anyway since people like someone who can disagree sometimes.

Or they get really abusive either in hopes that they can control their partner or that they just don't like them. This always fails so long as your partner isn't some BDSM freak.

[UnheardScream]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

That's horribly mislead. Relationships are about giving yourself body and mind to the other person. About letting them into your life, making them an important part of it, etc.
It's more about enjoying each other, and getting something mutual out of the experience, rather than just sex.

[warshark]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

Theres more to a relationship than just sex.

[adrastos12]

yes it is possible to have a REAL happy relationship with some one. My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years and we are happy all the time with eachother. We have not had a fight yet and most arguments we have only last a minute or so... we have a good mutual understanding for each other and we get along like best friends.

You just have to be yourself with every one you talk to and dont put up a front when your around that special someone, because eventually it will lead to a major strain in the relationship.

[Achilles2]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

You know, they call the thing between you and your mother a "relationship".

But hey, that's fine for you.

[Gateau]

There are times when relationships can be very tough to keep together, but overall you should be happy with each other no matter how you act or feel. You should be able to tell your partner anything, and vice verse. If you are in a relationship where you don't feel comfortable with the other person, and it is becoming 'destructive', get out of it! Not saying, of course, that good relationships don't have their problems - but the good's should always outnumber the bad's, and you should be happy still.

[Jake]

Relationships are hard, but the concept of actual love is harder.

As far as I see it, a relationship is just the tip of the iceberg. They start out casual and get more serious over time. They either continue to become serious and grow in love, or they end once one side or another realizes it's too soon for things.

They're hard to maintain, but if you really love the person you're with, you'll care about what's best for them, even if that may mean leaving you, be it for someone else or simply to be alone so they can figure things out. But if you continue to love and support them through their trials and difficult times, they'll see how much you care and realize that something special really might be there for the two of you.

Point is - if you truly want to be with someone, don't give up, no matter what happens. It will certainly benefit you in the long run.

[Boris-4-U]

They arn't hard to maintain depending on how the two connect. A good relationship is one you don't have try at. For me it's always come naturally, if you're constantly stressing over what to do then yeah it's gonna be hard. Work on you're chemistry and once you've got that down everything else will come hassel free.

[Lucy]

Relationships suck in general, the entire ideals of them are ridiculous.

[rsslee43]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

No... Relationships is a thing that you and almost anyone else create a sort of bond with... not always about sex...

[halfangelfreak]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

Incest?

[Legionnaire-X]

What Jake said but you have to be reasonable with his last point. There is a certain extend to which you should keep trying for a person.

[Jinzoa]

Been withy my female for 3 1/2 years now, what's great about it is she has a real logical side to things and treats our relationship with a real logical approach. We don't get to see each other much since she does uni/part time job/has alot of animals and so has pretty tiring days bar saturdays.

I either have work or sod all(Doing accounting from the start of monday till tuesday miday on nothing but energy drinks means i almost always have the rest of the week to myself to ass about) When i do see her it is awesome(cuddling and all that crap) but most the time we stay in contact via online when she/me are hell busy)

To really is not that much effort to it since we both understand eachother so well(what we let eachother know anyway) so it work's out great and has been for so long.

Alot of females(or males) like to see you a good few times a week, either phone/text or instant message you and like to spend alot of time together when possible. To me while i have a very slow week after work is done i do like to spend that time how i please, the idea of another wanting to spend so much time ir what puts me off and probably alot of others to which can cause conflict/problems.

[Viridis]

All relationships = sex. EVERY. LAST. ONE.

[Unimportant]

Relationships aren't logical things. It's just a hormonal impulse built into our biology to promote mating. It's the reason more than half of marriages end in divorce, and the ones that don't are far less happy than they were when they originally married. Humans are meant to be monogamous for long enough to raise children, not permanently.

It really doesn't surprise me that people act stupidly and irrationally when in a relationship. The hormones acting on them make them that way. It's similar to how you can't think straight when you're scared, angry, sleep deprived, etc.

[Jake]

At 5/10/09 03:22 PM, Legionnaire-X wrote: What Jake said but you have to be reasonable with his last point. There is a certain extend to which you should keep trying for a person.

Yes, this is true. You can't drive yourself to the brink of insanity when it's perfectly clear to yourself and everyone else that you haven't got a chance in hell.

[Glowstick-warroir]

At 5/10/09 02:12 PM, Shadow-1409 wrote: Relationships = Sex

I don't know. I dated a lesbian for a few weeks and didn't get laid. still had fun.

[FLAMEBOY97]

people just eed to look for that special someone for awhile till' they truly get it.

[wtfyourface]

At 5/10/09 01:01 PM, UnheardScream wrote: It can't be that hard to cut and run from a relationship like that, right? Is the rollercoaster of emotions really better than the search for someone who you truly are right for? Isn't it better to search for someone who can be with in constant happiness, rather than sporadically?

You and I think VERY alike. One of the reasons why I've never been in a committed relationship until this year was due to most of this logical thinking. Why be with someone who will only bring you partial happiness? And for what, a short period of time? What's exactly the point? Yeah, so we're on a pursuit for happiness. I understand that. But I just never understood why people put themselves in a relationship that brings nothing but misery. I think some people live for that though...enjoy the drama and getting hurt, all that shit.

Some people just need to grow up. A relationship (with that right person) shouldn't be difficult at all and believe me, it's not :D