About 3 years ago when i was really getting started on this website i was a frequent topic maker. They weren't always good but they amused me and a certain group of people, just having fun you know. However there was one mod who never once cracked a smile his entire life. He was a hollow shell of a man with no soul, the only facial expression that was ever seen on him was so distorted and evil the grinch would cringe upon seeing it. His name was Evark. Now Evark hated all life and everything that would be considered fun, so it wasn't long before he set his sights on me and my semi funny topics. Once he had a lock on me he didn't let up, deleting all my topics, some posts, and overall banning me for reasons that still to this day don't make sense. It was tragic for a 15 year old whos only source of entertainment came from a website.
Now then there came one day where i wouldn't tolerate the abuse anymore. All others took the dick Evark served them like a bitch, but not me. I responded in the only way i could, for three straight weeks i spammed the everhating shit out of him. I mean i did the works, secret goatse and tubgirl links along with other spam links. After those three weeks ended i relaxed finally feeling redeemed. To bad i had no clue about ip's and the fact that you can trace them. About four days after the fact i recieved a knock on my door. Opening it i knew it was him from first glance, the look in his eyes that told tales of hatred and years of anger, his frown now formed into clenched teeth, standing next to him was the only person ever considered to be equal to Evarks hate. Motherfucker bigbadron, this being when he had greasy hair, he never showered. On the other side of him was a ghostly pale man with a giant fro, can you guess who it is?
I knew what they were here for, so i turned and ran through my house with them close behind me. I saw a pair of scissors laying out that i forgot to put away, running to it i grabed it and tossed it quickly behind me. The pale man ducked but the scissors took a big chunk out of his afro, now with fire in his eyes he lunged at me putting me threw a wall. The three of them proceded to beat the fucking shit out of me, not stoping till i coughed up blood. Seemingly satisfied, they turned to walk away, but not before i stabed bigbadron in the the pick with a pen. The ink from the pen was injected into his bloodstream causing a massive infection which destroyed his immune system, progressing the cancer which he already had inside him. Now bald he also contrasted hiv from having unprotected sex with stamper. Stamper would later laugh at this.
Fastforward a couple of months to me getting out of the hospital, a new person. I knew that my previous childish prank only pissed Evark off, i would have to get revenge and make sure he never hurt others like he had me. So i feverishly bought a ticket to Masachutes and hunted him down, it wasn't easy, but i eventually found his house. Boy was it a piece of shit. I would re-pay him just as he did to me, but this time i would take him out. I knocked on the door, no reply, i rang the door bell, nothing. I knew he was home, he had no friends and nowhere to go. I checked for open windows and found one, moving quietly through his house i heard the sound of something falling from what seemed like his room. Cracking the door and peering through i saw what would prove my theory of Evark's power, Evark laying on his back still with his twisted frown taking it in the ass from none other then Tom Fulp himself. I closed the door and thought for a while, what would i do? I couldn't beat up Tom Fulp too, this wasn't looking to good. That is until i heard Tom scream in exctasy. Peering back through the door i could see Tom standing over Evark oozing cum down onto Evarks face which still was disfigured and frowning. With a sigh Tom jumped off the bed and went into the bathroom.
Now was my chance to act. Busting open the door i lunged at Evark with my brass knuckles and knocked the fucker out. I took out my needle and thread and stiched his asshole shut, it was Tom's massive cock which gave Evark his power to ban anyone he wanted and not get in trouble for it, with this done i would cut off his power supply, making him nothing more then a normal mod. I had saved the forums from Evarks tyrany, but not everything was perfect. Just as i finished and was about to leave Tom walked out, he stared at me, then at Evark, then back at me. He smiled.
"You seem to have great courage, as well as an understanding of how the modship works. How would you like to become the most powerful mod Newgrounds has ever seen!" he said extending his penis towards me.
"Sorry Tom" i said, "but i will never suck your dick to get ahead on your site, i'll do it the right way, by being a good reader, by helping others on the site and being generous!"
"So be it!" he screamed swinging his penis like a club and sending me flying out the window. I later woke up at my house. This my friends is why i'll never become a mod.
