I like the warm atmosphere at the beginning. The vocals are gorgeous. The progression is a little slow towards the beginning, but I like the tranquil piano that comes in at around the 1-minute mark. Nice use of phrasing at 1:35. You’re definitely giving the piece a strong sense of direction, and the synths that fade in at around 2:15 were an intriguing and quirky touch. The instrumentation takes another drastic turn at 3:35, and I like the vocals at 3:48 a lot - they’re very smooth and soulful. That said, I can’t help but be turned off a bit by the lack of cohesion of the piece. There are distinct sections, all with very distinct sound designs, that are only loosely connected. At 3:35, you appear to fade out the piano, only to fade in the guitar, almost as if this track is an album preview, playing short clips of several songs in turn. I don’t think that’s the effect you want the structuring to have on the listener. Despite the thematic similarities between the sections of the piece, I think you need a little more repetition to keep the listener grounded. I also thought that the vocals at 3:48 constituted the first example of a prominent melody in the piece, which is problematic. Furthermore, the panning on the guitar was a bit too off-center for my tastes. The guitar provides a clear pulse that gives the piece a lot of drive and, as such, I think it should be mostly front-and-center. That said, the production quality here is great overall. Despite my criticisms, there are a lot of strong attributes of this piece: the emotion and atmosphere, the mastering, the excellent blending of your instruments (especially during the first half of the piece). I’m a stickler for structuring, though, and it was hard for me to ignore the fact that this track sounds like at least 2 different pieces. I commend you for taking that risk, but it didn’t pay off for me, I’m afraid. Nice work nevertheless! I’m looking forward to hearing your future tracks. :)
You are quite right in pointing out some of its flaws in its current state, but you and I both arrive at different responses. Oh how boring music can be if one didn't take the risks to stray away from what one is taught and what one ought to do with sound! If given more time, I would have made the transitions more seamless, but I literally wrote the first half of the piece the day it was due and spliced the two pieces together 20 minutes before the deadline. The beginning comes naturally whereas I spent a lot of time chipping away what would eventually be the latter half of the song. Even then, and as jarring it may seem, I couldn't help but smile and laugh to how it turned out. Why not? Of course I can write a piece with more uniformity, but consider it a dream yet to be and yet to come as the scenes of a devastated, forgotten city finds life once again forevermore.
In terms of the technical and a mixing choice I made, the guitar being off centered comes from a retro perspective. I could have stacked the guitars, but decided not to at the time of recording. Even now, I was just listening to Space Oddity by David Bowie where his acoustic guitar is entirely played in the right speaker. Thank you for taking the time to leave a review. I still plan on updating this track now that I have the time to do so.