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The Problem

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Ya'll probably thought I was done making my rap music//
That's where you fucked up, dumb dumb- 'cause I'm back, stupid,//
Demolishin' muthafuckas 'cause I'm astonishin'//
Astonishin' muthafucka because I'm Jonathan//

And Teq basically Robin Hood but the opposite//
Robbing the opposition in competition of confidence//
Battle me boy I promise I'm robbing you of yo consciousness//
Swallowing up your oxygen all of y'all all incompetent//

Molecules in a solvent of horrible awful audio
I gotta stop it and stomp the shit outta all of you//
All of my new hits got you feelin' like it's your birthday//
Teq sent you the gift of some fresh ignorant wordplay//

I murdered every person who's ever worked at a Burger King//
Because they was unworthy and undeserving of serving me//
And then I had to sever the head of my best friend//
Because he said that the Avengers were better than X-Men//

I tend to get in a ridiculous rage//
I'm a combination of Gary Busey and Nicolas Cage//
But really though- I just get high as a kite and I write rhymes//
Where I lie about my life, and I die within 5 lines//

I got this, I'm the problem- to your answer//
The last hit of a Marlboro before cancer//
I'm a chump runnin from real G's (I mean...)//
I shot someone for not coming to kill me//

I got drunk and I walked up to a cop once//
And I cock-punched him and walked off like I'm awesome//
I'm the lock-pick in yo lock, pickin' yo lock switch//
You can't recall that you ever called you a lock smith//

The crazy dude who you read about in the daily news//
Freeing the kangaroos from their cages in all the major zoos//
Wearing a beautiful pair of baby blue daisy dukes//
Hammer dancing up on the top of an ambulance as I wave at you//

Gotta tattoo, and it's mad cool, do you wanna see it?//
It's a tramp stamp and it says "Juicy", in Olde English//
I'm misusing the shit outta this uzi//
I do things to confuse you- and amuse me//

I like watching when couples argue in dive bars//
Then I walk by like a high pirate I'm like ARRRRR//
The Philadelphia cheese steak of Green Bay//
The Willie Nelson Mandela of having sweet names//

I lived in a camper with a family of hamsters//
I'm addicted to cigarettes and its giving them cancer//
I'm so cool that I broke all of my own rules//
And was kicked out of the home school that I go to//

I'm the project that you walked in//
And got shot for the wrong color of arm band//
I'm the shotgun in your grill piece//
My side hustle? I flip houses for realties//

I'm a hot mess, I'm a monster, in the Loch Ness //
I'm a mosh pit in the cockpit of a bomb jet //
I'm a con artist and not sure who to con yet//
The cock blockin-est cock block at the bar bitch//

I'm a rock star in the wrong biz//
I'm a lot stronger than god is//
But I'm not stronger than Marcus//
'Cause he lifts weights and that dude's pretty fuckin' big//

And your hot shit is my garbage//
I'm classier than a damn campus at college//
I'm the wrong person to start shit//
I'll stab your abdomen with a sharpened guitar pick//

Ate a green egg- and I went ham//
Police came to the scene, seen me and screamed; ran//
The best man in my own wedding with no friends//
And no reverend and no lady and no band//

I'm a line drawn in the damn sand...//
You the guy crossing my damn line...//
You have done something I can't stand...//
You will die now imma land mine...//

I'm the top less male dancer...//
I'm the Andre of Atlanta...//
I'm an outcast but I'm back now- and I'm out back//
Of the steak place where you hang out, and you sell crack//

I'm the long arm of the the law office of Cochran//
Put the glove on you I promise it will not fit//
I may struggle some days with the way I'm functioning//
But I stay thuggin' like Ray Charles' gay cousin//

I'm the right hand of a lefty...//
I'm a white man and I'm hefty...//
I lied man I'm a rhyme damagin' emcee//
Not a guy standing against me//

I'm an athlete at the rap meet//
You a bad package of rat meat//
You didn't ask but yo ass is gettin' me anyway//
Like Israel never asked to have Zachy Hennessey//

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I see you've been having fun with your multis. The writing here is extremely dense, and you've got some memorable lines to boot (kicked out of your home school? D-O-P-E.) What's impressive here is how relentless the bars are. Not only is almost everything part of a rhyme scheme, but the lack of a hook and ceaseless stringing together of stanza after stanza make it immediately apparent just how much content is here.

The biggest issue with this track is the mix. Your vox sound quiet compared to the beat, and since your delivery already lacks emphasis it makes it kind of hard to hear what's going on. At some points it sounds like you're out of breath, but again it sounds as if this could be a mixing issue. That, combined with a couple stumbles (the Nicholas Cage line was somewhat off-beat) make me wonder if you did this all in one take.

Teqneek responds:

Heyyyyy what's up man? Thanks for the review. I've been working on mastering a LOT lately, and I think this track was made right around the time I started working hard on that. So hopefully every song from here out will be mixed slightly (or vastly- if someone else does it) better than the one before it.

Dude, I have 3 songs about to recorded that are fucking ridiculous with multis. One of these songs will span the course of an entire cd by the way. And another is serious. And another is NOT, but it is dope as fuck and it's called Ferris WHEEL. And it's 5 minutes long and about Ferris Wheels. Shit is getting crazy on this horizon man. Something is about to happen. Somewhere. To someone. Or something. You can bet your ass.

hohoho, i see you with the styles. those adlibs really boost your style.

lots of perspective, goofy imagery that translates into wisdom, cool rhymes, mathematical precision, and always creative. one of my favorite words you rhymed with in this piece was, "cheese steak" and "green bay".

id say, the mix is something that needs to be worked on more. but then again if thats the way it was meant to be, it fits the atmosphere well. kind of a scatterbrained funk spiral of sounds, stringed together by spaces in the rhythm.

"i shot someone for not coming to kill me" (word up)
"was kicked out the the home school that i go to" (lmaooo)
"put the glove on you i promise it will not fit" (the blockheads always try to intimidate in crews, dont they. talk about blocking up the highway.)

whatchu know boutda ol english?

overall this was a phat piece, i appreciate the realness of your being. that takes effort and time, dude. i think you did a great job, however the sound engineering could receive more attention.

shouts to Ax for supplying that energetic beat.

Q ~~

Teqneek responds:


Yeah I think the ad libs ended up making the song for real, and most were added after the 3rd cut of this. Dude it took me 6 tries to get this damn thing right, and I still can't get "quite" the vocal sound I'm looking for. Which may or may not partly be due to technical inferiority lol album title if I was a bit more self-loathing...

I feel like I got into a vocal groove right around the time I peaced out for a couple years, and maybe I'm just shaking the rust off. Or maybe it's time to upgrade my equipment lol.

Still rockin' the Blue USB Yeti from back in the day, and have been dealing with the Reaper (Free Version) DAW ever since last Clabtrap's Finals. So I'm not really happy with the sound either thing puts out, and maybe that's why I feel like I gotta dub my shit too much.

But I kinda dig this song, and maybe one day when I get better gear, I'll re-do a bunch of mah classicz... and release something I've been thinking of doing for a while now, "A Brief History of Rhyme, vol : 1"

Yeah, anyway thanks for diggin the track my brother.

Other rappers need to sit down because the professor is back.

Damn good beat by Ax, too.

Teqneek responds:

Thanks Rampant. Dr. Bruh Bruh is back in the building... OH AND TO ALL YOU LISTENING- Clear your caches btw if you heard this earlier than Sept. 13th, otherwise yo ass will still be hearing the original, shitty version of shittiness. At least that's what Rampant told me in an exclusive interview I had with him like 5 minutes ago.

Credits & Info


4.30 / 5.00

Sep 12, 2016
4:07 AM EDT
File Info
9.4 MB
4 min 8 sec

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