Mockingbird

rabidcamper just joined the crew!

We need you on the team, too.

Support Newgrounds and get tons of perks for just $2.99!

Mockingbird

Download this song

Author Comments

Playing around with dissonance again. I wanted to make something that builds with noise but remains solemn and melodic behind the increasing waves of 4 pedals and 4 power chords. My favorite work so far, but then again pretty much everything i make becomes my new favorite work so at the end of the day that just means it's my newest composition. Does this description seem long enough? I don't know, it was stupidly short(and stupid in general) when i first uploaded it in a rush but i really don't know what to write. I hope you like it.

8/5/2015: Edited the mix, brought the guitar down a bit so it's less overpowering, and messed with note velocities

Log in / sign up to vote & review!

johnfn

2015-08-04 02:37:05

== This is an NGAUC Knock-Out Round Review ==

Now this is a really interesting track. I can’t say that I’ve heard anything even close to similar in the NGAUC so far, and that is usually a good thing.

The massive wall of guitars and feedback is a really good idea, and I think that they do a very good job of feeling powerful, yet emotional. However, the problem is that you seem to have trouble keeping them under control - they muddy up the mix, obscuring the drums and the piano, which both desperately need to be louder (the drums more so than the piano).

I’m not totally sold on the intro. The piano sounds very mechanical (this is a pet peeve of mine, as a pianist :P) - you need to vary those velocities - and honestly, I’m not even sure if it’s necessary. However, the sudden transition into heavy metal is effective.

I do like the dissonance - it can be a very effective way to bring about emotion - but what I don’t like is when the notes are straight up off key, like the piano is around 1:43. (This is also a good example of where the piano buried in the mix.)

It may seem like I’ve been pretty critical during this review, and I have, but there’s one thing that has really been a saving grace throughout this song: the great progression! The progression in combination with the guitars just works so darn well, and you accentuate it with little piano flourishes in just the right ways, that I’m willing to overlook some of the mixing issues because the track has such a great mood behind it.

So this track’s mix definitely needs to be reigned in, but I see a really good song buried in it. Keep at it.

Overall Score: 7.5/10

Mini-Scores (see here: http://johnfn.newgrounds.com/news/post/936953):
* Composition: 3+/4
* Arrangement: 3/4
* Mixing: 1/4

IndustryStandard responds:

Interesting and different are two of my favorite adjectives to have attributed to me and/or my work, so thank you! People always said I'd be great as some kind of undiscovered mold or fungus, but that career didn't really pan out for me, as I am a human.

The guitars were definitely a bit of a struggle to mix, and it's something that tugged on the corner of my mind after i submitted the song for sure. I messed around with mixing for a while but that's just something i haven't quite gotten the hang of yet. I've come a long way over the past few months, so seeing a 1/4 for the mixing is a bit disheartening but i definitely understand why it's so low.

As for the piano intro, in fairness to me I DID actually mess with the velocity of the notes, but I guess the velocities weren't varied enough? That or the instrument i was using(a sampler that comes with Reason) doesn't actually change the sounds when you change the notes' velocities. or option number 3, which is i don't know how piano velocities look or how it's supposed to sound when played naturally. Could I tell the difference if my MIDI version and an actual human played version were played back to back? most definitely. But I'm not quite sure how to take a MIDI composition and translate that into something a little more human, not yet. Something to work on, i guess, but I digress;

The atonal part at 1:43 was a straight fuck up on my part. I was messing around with making a variance on the intro riff but couldn't find anything that sounded good, and i guess i just forgot to put those few notes back in place. Kind of a facepalm moment for me, to be honest haha. And yeah, duly noted about the mix.

I don't at all fault you for being critical. It never feels good to hear people think anything less of your own creations than you do yourself, but to deny or ignore these things is far worse in my opinion. You've really helped me outline my strong points(ambience and progression, if I'm understanding everything right) while letting those strong points highlight what is holding the project back, which is really the best way to review something. Thanks for the advice!

SkyeWint

2015-08-04 00:47:54

Hey there. Some general commentary on your song for NGAUC.

-When I saw that this was general rock, I was not expecting strings and piano at first. Some cool dissonant ideas, though it could use a bit more open sound. Open dissonance sounds much better than dissonance which is really close together. I *highly* suggest looking up jazz theory and listening to some music which uses it if you're going to go down this path - jazz is all about dissonance, and knowing its theory will help you loads with this.
-Really neat guitar effects with the hollow atmospheric sounds. I like 'em a lot.
-Overall this piece doesn't really change too much aside from Intro -> Middle -> End. Ending is a bit odd as well, leaving it on the dissonant chord.

Final score: 7.6/10

IndustryStandard responds:

Yeah I wasn't sure what genre to put honestly. I don't think it quite counts as electronic since a majority of the sound is definitely guitar-heavy, but the lead riffs are synthetic instruments, and "Atmospheric Nonsense" isn't a genre yet so general rock it is! haha

I probably should look into some theory in general, both for my compositional skills and my own general curiosity, it's just a time thing; between other local music projects and work it just hasn't happened, but I'll definitely take the advice to heart. I wouldn't say dissonance is a "path" I'm going down so much as a tool i like to use, but it's a tool I use frequently and it's probably about time I actually learned what I was doing.

I desperately wanted(and still want/plan on) to add lyrics to this, which is partly why the song is a bit samey aside from the beginning middle and end. I recorded a few takes of my own voice but couldn't get a take I was happy with, and then I saw the 6 hour notice for submissions to the contest, so i decided to just try and mix and master something with what i had. That, and my interface straight up blue-screen crashed my computer twice while i was working on recording guitar and vocals, so that's frustrating. I have a local singer with an amazing voice coming over later this week to see if we can get something recorded though, hopefully that fixes the samey-ness, and i can also use that opportunity to fix some mixing issues too.

This whole project of mine, "Industry Standard" is basically my attempt at stamping a little bit of my brain onto an audio file. My life's a bit of a mess right now, hence the dissonance, but it moves forward anyway, as a song does; a beautiful struggle. at the end, though, the struggle still isn't over, and so i end on dissonance. It want's to resolve, but can't. not yet. Someday, though.