I'm agitated, half of it is I know I'm now an
Oversaturated masochist sick with fibromyalgia
Formaldehyde preserving putrid flesh, cue the next
Stupid restless thought I resurrect to fuel my stress

I want to let it go, clear it all and sealing up
The lethargy from memories, breathless, weak with spiritual anemia
Numb fingers searching, feeling for a healing touch
Looking for escape inside a plastic bag with helium

No surprise, I bond about as easy as a noble gas
Never sharing space means you'll never catch me holding hands
Maybe I'm too caught up in the past when there's no going back
Running closed circuits on loop is just a soulless act

I'm sinking deeper, falling in a void of decay
It's like starving at the table of a poison buffet
If you're enjoying the stay you can toil and slave
But everything you think you're working for is boiling away

All that's left is limbo, a desert so spotless
So directionless when you know the landmarks are mirages
A dreamless waking life that makes you doubt you're even conscious
Broken glass on a hamster wheel with no way to get off it

You realize you need more, so you go hunting
Nothing was enough 'til you were told you had something
Then material possessions and acceptance from your peers
Were your measurement for pleasure, but you never drew near

To your goals 'cause nothing that you wanted really mattered
Just illusions you were told to keep you well-behaved and mannered
Love and right and wrong were what we took with willfull ignorance
Pretending things had value made us happy we were different

All I wanted from the people I was friends with
Was attention and acceptance of perspectives that I'm obsessed with
Maybe to be told that I was precious and the stresses
In my life were taken care of with no reason to be restless

I believed in human goodness even though I knew I shouldn't
And I learned the hard way that the world is cruel and crooked
Amputating feet of clay makes the world see-through and footless
So we never weed the fake, we just let them creep through bushes

It's funny how I miss everything I used to hate
And crummy how I'd do anything just to escape
Recreate every catalyst for my dissatisfaction
'Cause it seems like it's easier to reimagine passion

Purpose is a lie, so why am I so fidgety?
Love is a lie, so how come solitude is misery?
Value is subjective, so what could life give to me
When words are wind that come and go and vanish to infinity

I can't overcome the phantom pain from religion
It's pointless but I still have to gain recognition
People run in the maze, but I can't make them listen
So I'm left all alone as I stay in this prison

My social instincts are a carrot on a stick
But I look for affirmations where they don't exist
I guess that's what they mean when they say ignorance is bliss
Brainwashed by a moral code, dependant 'cause you're visionless

My limbic system wants the lie but my mind wants the truth
Now I'm trying to decide what I want to do
But light of direction is dying with my youth
And the only dream I have is of lying in a tomb

We simulate importance making stupid little choices
Then the bigger fates and forces set us up for disappointment
If I'd always been this way it'd be easy to accept
But now I dream of dreamless sleep and world put to rest