~Per your review request~
I like the arrangement of your percussion, but this sounds like a lot of generic plugins or samples. I dunno, really just isn't scratching the itch of doing all it could do. Try distinguishing the sounds of your VSTs a bit more and meshing the soundscape together. Definitely could use a bassline to tie it in as well. The melody is a little naked in places. Double bass is nice. Could use less corny crashes -- I know that sound anywhere, aha. Also gets points for bravery, directness, and the unique arrangement, as well as looping absolutely FLAWLESSLY. You would probably gain more traction in the Video Game section or Misc with this track, however.
Anyway, keep trying, and eventually you will make headway. You're getting somewhere!