This sounds very out of tune in some places.
The song structure needs a TON of work.
The transitions are too rough.
Perhaps this would suit a video game if nothing was going on, and everything is calm, but you still need to make it sound interesting.
Most people would pity you for this being your first song, but I won't because I wanna help you get better, and do whatever it takes to do so.
You really have to master your music, and you know that.
You're really good and you must understand your DAW really well, but at the end of the day, if it doesn't sound good, it isn't.