Holy crap. That is wicked good! Wow...although you said you only listened to their music as research, that's a lot of research to me! You seriously represented the country flawlessly. I'm dying at the waltzing bits. They are extraordinary! The chord progression on those bits is quite reminiscent of a valse musette. And I definitely feel the solo electric piano bit with the drums. Soothingly jazzy and yet anxious with its slightly dark tonality, maybe dissonant? A note is clashing that makes it very interesting. I enjoyed this piece greatly. Excellent work!
Author Comments
Here it is, my submition for the RAC6 (Represent a Country)
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You can read the full article on my news feed here:
http://camoshark.newgrounds.com/news/post/699893
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Main inspiration is Avishai Cohen (Paris-based Israeli, master bassist/contrabassist, bandleader and composer) Jacques Brel (Belgian singer/songwriter) and Michael Giacchino (Hollywood-based orchestral composer extraordinaire) and various orchestral composers (Camille Saint-SaÃffÃ'«ns, Maurice Ravel, Gustav Mahler)
Transcribed Avishai Cohen's "Staav" and "Structures in Emotion", as well as Jacques Brel's "Vesoul". Analysed their rhythmic patterns, chord quality and structure, as well as overall song structure and patterning between author's songs.
I also rented orchestral scores from previously mentioned composers, and did the same.
Took about 2 weeks to compose, sequence, arrange, and do overall editing. with a steady increase in intensity as the deadline approached, with a big climax within the last 3 days.
Anyways, that's that for today, remember to Read, Rate, Review, Comment and Enjoy!
Cheers
camoshark responds:
Wow man, thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed!
Cheers
Oh, hey, this loaded faster than I thought it would. Cool.
Ho-kay. On to the review!
THE GOOD:
-That initial chord is WONDERFUL. As Peppers said below me, it truly got the "French" mood across.
-Is that a harpsichord I hear in the background doing chords from 0:43-1:15?
-The transition at 0:40 leading into the first main section is also absolutely wonderful. Props for that.
-I like the little keyboard instrument coming in at 1:29. It sounds very cute.
-The groove you've got from 1:57-2:57 is really, really sweet.
-...3:05. AGHSUPERFASTNOTES. That sounds sweet. Honestly. I like it.
-The drums are very good, and the patterns you have for them work quite well with the sections.
-I like how at 2:58-3:15 you reiterated the initial melody.
THE IMPROVEABLE:
-Sometimes in the intro, the accordion-like sound had a little 'tap' right as a chord played, making it seem as if it were some kind of keyboard or organ instrument rather than an accordion. This happens at approximately 0:10, 0:11, 0:14, 0:18, 0:21, 0:22, 0:26, 0:28, 0:29, 0:30, 0:34, and 0:37. It also seemed to be some kind of bass frequency, so you might want to take an equalizer and try cutting out some of the bass frequencies.
-The intro seemed like it was going about 12 ways other than the way it actually went. I was mainly expecting the initial chord to launch into some kind of tango, actually. Overall - the main way I think this can be improved is by shortening the intro. Also, it could use a bit more variation than the three main chords with the trill repeated three times in a row - try altering the chords there if you're really going to do a chordal intro, as if you repeat the same thing too many times it gets boring. :<
-The transition at 1:15 seems out of place, kind of like you ended the song and just started up a new one.
-In the section from 0:43-1:15, there seems to be no kick whatsoever. In the later sections, the kick is extremely difficult to hear.
-In the section from 1:15 to 1:51, there's a lot of dissonant notes which don't fit in with what I had heard before, which was very consonant. I know it's jazz, but there's good dissonance and not-so-good dissonance.
-From about 1:47-1:56, it seems very odd and dissonant. :| Can't help thinking there's a lot you could have done to improve this transition. Same for 2:57-2:58.
-From 3:31-3:54, the rhythms go all over the place and are extremely inconsistent, which throws me every single time I hear it.
-The ending could have been improved quite a bit.
Overall: Cool song, the individual sections are very nice (generally, at least. The only two I didn't like were 1:15-1:51 and 3:31-3:54). I just think that it could have been tied together a lot more skillfully, and that some of the composition could have been better. I really only had one (very minor) complaint about the mixing, so that's fine. Unfortunately, since good transitions are an EXTREMELY important part of any song (in my opinion), and due to the dissonance/rhythmic oddities in the two sections I outlined, I have to give this a 3.5/5.
Hopefully this is helpful to you, and honestly - I look forward to seeing more of your work. :)
-Swint
camoshark responds:
Heyo Swint, thanks for the prompt response, as well as the big-ass review!
"-That initial chord is WONDERFUL. As Peppers said below me, it truly got the "French" mood across."
Thanks, it's really just a 7b9 chord though, feel free to integrate it in your music!
"-Is that a harpsichord I hear in the background doing chords from 0:43-1:15?"
Nope, it's a Manouche Guitar, which sounds drier than usual guitars.
"-The transition at 0:40 leading into the first main section is also absolutely wonderful. Props for that."
Good to hear, I took a lot of time making that transition work!
"-The groove you've got from 1:57-2:57 is really, really sweet."
Nice, that's actually the original song, everything else I built around.
"-The drums are very good, and the patterns you have for them work quite well with the sections."
Thanks, though these aren't premade loops like what you seem to be assuming (correct me if I'm wrong)
"-Sometimes in the intro, the accordion-like sound had a little 'tap' right as a chord played, making it seem as if it were some kind of keyboard or organ instrument rather than an accordion..."
Hmmm, did you ever try playing an actual accordion? Because an accordion IS in fact a form of keyboard, and whenever you switch chord button, it makes the click you hear to change the airflow.
"-The intro seemed like it was going about 12 ways other than the way it actually went. I was mainly expecting the initial chord to launch into some kind of tango, actually."
Though what you described would have been an awesome idea, it was not what I had in mind, especially for the fact I constructed the piece in invert procedure: I first wrote the slow middle-groove, then proceeded to fleshen-out the piece by adding a second theme (the part after the intro), and finally added the intro and finale. This made the whole creative process completely different than if I had made the intro first and progressed in a linear curve.
"Also, it could use a bit more variation than the three main chords with the trill repeated three times in a row..."
If you're referring to the three last cadenzas from the intro, I'm sorry about that, I had simply just found this chord progression, and I thought it felt very nice. I still think it sounds great, but I've somewhat restrained myself from using it as much. :P
"-The transition at 1:15 seems out of place, kind of like you ended the song and just started up a new one."
I tend to work in movements rather than in progressive development, I guess it just depends on what you prefer.
"-In the section from 0:43-1:15, there seems to be no kick whatsoever. In the later sections, the kick is extremely difficult to hear."
When playing brush drum, the kick is barely ever used, as it is too strong for the subtle play asked in the genre.
"-In the section from 1:15 to 1:51, there's a lot of dissonant notes which don't fit in with what I had heard before. I know it's jazz, but there's good dissonance and not-so-good dissonance."
Hmmm, I guess "not-so-good" dissonance is all a matter of taste, for you see, I'm a bit of a chord nut, especially. If you're interested I can PM you a detailed analysis of these chords.
"-From about 1:47-1:56, it seems very odd and dissonant. :| Can't help thinking there's a lot you could have done to improve this transition. Same for 2:57-2:58."
Those transitions unfortunately didn't get the love they deserved due to time restraints for the competition it was made for, so the fault's on me.
"-From 3:31-3:54, the rhythms go all over the place and are extremely inconsistent, which throws me every single time I hear it."
It was intended this way, as most french music has this very ambiguous rhythm that characterizes it.
"-The ending could have been improved quite a bit."
The ending was the part that most suffered from the time restraint, and I whipped it in under 15 minutes. I'm sorry to hear you didn't like it.
Again, I want to thank you for executing this so quickly, as well as making such a long review, even if a lot of points we don't agree on!
Cheers
Brilliant piece man. From the first chord I could tell it was French in nature so you are spot on representing a country. You've also got a very interesting research/bio as well, you can tell you were very committed.
I love that melody at 0:42 onwards, it's really cool and funny enough makes me remember Final Fantasy IX at times (maybe that's just me). I also like the smooth section from 1:56 onwards. Just one little criticism is that at times I don't think each section moves into each other as smoothly as they possibly could have but nevertheless all the melodies and sections are cool by themselves.
camoshark responds:
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed!
I'm also glad you immediately recognized it as french, it's a sign I did it right!
As for the transitions, it's what's been bugging me since day one, I didn't manage to make them fit enough to not feel weird. I've got a couple ideas that could improve this, but the project file is so heavy it'd be a pain to do those modifications, export, convert and upload again (the mp3 itself is 10.8 MB, you can imagine the WAV file...)
In any case, thanks again for the feedback, I'll be sure to review your's once I get the chance!
Cheers
Hahaha
camoshark responds:
Glad you enjoyed, I should probably get to writing that description now ! :P
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