soooo much potential!
Nice diminished on intro
Progression is sick for intro
The phrasing of the lyrics is really good feels natural.
Solo feels orgasmic make it longer
Did you double the vocal part? If so why didn't you do any harmonies?
The song is damn good the way it is now but if you want to take it to the "why isn't this guy signed" level put a rock band behind it and give it some harmonies. Do that and you have a hit.
Close to hit.
Static in the background needs to turn down a bit, beautiful vocals and smooth description of events. its colorful
I think this is very lovely. The onl crit i would give is that, maybe get a female to sing along with you? i think that would make this perfect. maybe even a tambourine at some parts?
I never thought about a female vocal. That would actually sound very rad. At least it does in my head. I'm imagining a duet with Jenny Lewis. That would rule.
Another good song.
I really like this song. Like Flamedance58 said, you should try rerecording it with stronger vocals. Other than that, great song.
Thanks for the review, I really appreciate them. :)
Work a bit on...
The voice needs a bit of work if you as me, that is try to get more of a fluid and strong voice. At the moment it kinda sounds like you just woke up to record it, that being you sound really tired and it's just sorta distorted.
The guitar, perhaps making it a tiny bit louder so its not just the voice we hear because the instruments are also important and shouldn't be dwarfed by the voice or at least not by this much.
Otherwise I like the lyrics despite not being a blues fan, keep up the good work.
Thanks for the comments. You were like 99% accurate in your description of the vocals. It's not that I had just woken up, it's that it was about 2AM and I didn't want to wake up my roommates.
On another note, I'm glad to hear that the only things wrong with it were technical issues (voice, instrument volume) and not the actual songwriting. Thanks again!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.