I think whats lacking here is events in the song. you should have a kinda breakdown somewhere in there and kinda build it up at some point to a climax.
The song has a cool sound. Reminds me of NIN.
I agree that's there's not a big sense of movement in this track, but I don't really want to throw a complete breakdown in there just for the sake of it, you know?
Thanks for the review.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.