Not bad at all.
I actually liked the story of this visual novel, and the music was fitting and easy on the ears.
Some of the drawings were a bit rough around the edges, but you definitely have potential, and your story telling skills a pretty good.
A few of the things that detract from the experience is/are: the inability to scroll through the dialogue faster (even after holding down the "S" key), and after finishing the game there is no replay button or any other option to go to the main menu etc., so the player is forced to reload the entire game, and, as others have already stated, there are a number of misspellings (but fortunately it doesn't really affect the story telling).
Other than that, I enjoyed this experience, and I'd definitely like to see what you come out with down the road.
Keep up the good work.
Reviews for "Beyond Darkness"
So this is basically just clicking "s" over and over again.
Those boobs though! xD
Visual novel .-.
delisious is spelled delicious.
hanged up the phone should be hung up the phone, or hung the phone up.
pase is spelled pace.
the teacher mentioned Maya's last name when it wasn't told to him.
you spelled acciednt... need I tell you what is wrong with that?
that act of her should read act of her's
I didn't finish the game, story, thing... Have other things to do. The story seems pretty good. The drawings need some work but they are good enough for the story. Music was fitting. Found some typos as you can guess from above, I wouldn't be surprised if there were more. But chances are, I will not come back to finish (mostly because I don't like reading, even though I end up doing a lot of it, but also partly because it isn't that engaging- but this isn't my kind of thing, I know some that would love to come back and read this for themselves.)
If there's one word that I get out of this story, it is Potential.
At the very end of the Blue Pill ending, I could trace a hint of the powerful emotions that must have been running through you when you wrote this story, and you tried your best to convey them effectively here. There is great potential for questions the reader could ponder regarding the moral decisions (if indeed decisions they were) that some of the characters made.
However, you are still an amateur in terms of writing, and as such, much of the story suffers from overused emotional and plot-based conventions, especially during the scenes where Luna is being bullied.
The biggest problem, however, is that this story simply doesn't have enough time and space to flesh out the drama and relationships the way you might want it to. I would highly recommend that this be rewritten and expanded on. My biggest point of advice, however, would be to simply absorb more of other peoples' work. Find the best stories in your chosen field, and find out how they work, and why they work.
A valiant effort, says I, and as such, my eye is now on you henceforth.
"What the hell. Did something happen to the cabel"
Should be cabLE.
Lmao, best review ever.