This is a NGADM Round 3 List-of-Ideas-For-Possible-Improvement.
Production: 27.5/30 (Great)
Composition: 26.5/30 (Great)
Instrumentation: 13/15 (Great)
Originality: 9.5/10 (Great)
Interest: 13.5/15 (Great)
Overall Score: 90/100 (Great) or 9/10 or 4.5 Stars.
=======
The Good:
- The track really sounded solid throughout. Nothing seemed out of place mix-wise or style-wise.
- The addition of the children playing was an interesting but, in the end, effective choice in my opinion. I felt it really fit with the simple feel of the song.
- The piano- simple, innocent, child-like. Really fits perfectly with the mood and image of the song. I almost would have preferred a bit more hammer noise to give that super close intimate vibe.
- You really expressed a clear arc in the body of the song and brought the listener along for the trip. I thought this piece was quite effective emotionally.
The Not-so-Good:
- I felt the drums in the first half felt a bit naked and thin/choppy... they didn't really "play with the track" but rather along side it. Be careful when mixing percussion into a track to pay attention to the atmosphere around it, both with the timbre and the dampness. I would suggest discretion in this piece with the drums rather than steady, active grooving, to better accentuate the more atmospheric vibe. An active, choppy groove will support a more pop/electronic feel, while a more chill, smooth groove will support a more ambient feel. In that regard, I feel this track had a little bit of multiple personality disorder and couldn't quite come to terms with which of those two it really was.
- On the subject of drums, don't forget about the effectiveness of drum fills and especially don't forget about making "smoove" transitions, especially in a style like this!
- While I thought the work with EW's voice was interesting, it sounded really forced and fake. I would suggest to write out a part next time and have him sing it. The performance of the human voice is incredibly nuanced and cutting and pasting bits will never create a realistic performance, no matter how advanced it is. I understand a stylistic reason for this cutting and pasting, but I think a straight performance would better fit with the musical style proposed in the second half of the piece.
- Although childhood is a simple subject, that doesn't mean you should limit yourself to simple ideas. Some of those most gorgeous and rich sounds are those with a little bit of bitterness and tension to them (ex. 1: https://instaud.io/2OE), and some of the greatest most joyous sounds are those which are preceded by the darkest sounds. Just food for thought. :)
- I wish that final "chord" was down an octave, just as a release... just a thing. XD
Note: while a casual observer might think there's a lot wrong with this piece, quite the contrary. I quite liked the piece (as noted in the interest category). I just have some comments that took a bit of explaining, as is the case when we set aside the simple things and get deep into the complexities of the craft.
